43 . "Friendly reminder re Adhering to Value Ranges"
Posted by Meezer_Mom on
Nov-09-17 at 07:06 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Nov-09-17 at 07:06 PM (Eastern) by 188.8.131.52
We're generous folks. We like to share and treat others. But, adhering to the "value range" set by the swap maintains the balance of reciprocity. That is, equal on both sides.
I learned of this many years ago by my anthropology prof. She shared she bought her BFF a microwave for Christmas. On the day they exchanged gifts, she was excited to gift her, but her friend was bummed because she had gifted her a CD. A nice and desired CD, but still not as outstanding as a microwave. So, she felt distanced. They were no longer equals. The gift inadvertently caused pain.
I have a friend who has been going through really tough times. Our gifting "value" has been lowered. I'm sneaking a little more in, saying I caught a deal, but it's just a little more. She's my BFF. I would not want her to feel we were no longer equals.
A dollar, two or three over, is reasonable, but do try to keep the balance. Your partner may not remember what you gave but they will remember how it - and you - made them feel.