my oldest son who is 17 decided wednesday after school let out early that he was going to race another boy
the other kid was driving s10 truck kendall was driving a full size chevy
the other kid saw the cop kendall did not so now he has a reckless driving ticket with speed of 20 over speedlimit
he was doing 85 in a 55 rumored at school he was doing 104 (hubby said he didn't know his truck would do that fast either )
of course with him being 17 he is on our insurance
should i go ahead and have him surrender his license to the dmv and take him off our insurance
or should i wait to see what the judge will do with him
and he will have to take that driving class no matter what
i am so lost at what to do
was hoping he would never put us in this situation
he is no longer allowed to drive i have his license and he wasn't able to go on his church trip this weekend or next
thanks for any input
lydia
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THANKS!! 1|1|Reading this story brings back memories of an incident...|Sharon|sforshee@hughes.net|23:49:57|01/17/2014|
back in 1998-99 year when my daughter was a high school junior and was good friends with these 2 girls who were best friends. One day she came home crying and distraught, because she found out these 2 girls were encouraged to race with another car with 2 boys on a main, very busy highway. They were racing each other over 70mph when girls car spun out of control, hitting the concrete wall causing her friend to be thrown out of the car and running over her! She was killed. The boys took off, and were caught by police later on. It was such a sad tragedy and imagine the guilt this girl has to live with for the rest of her life. She was charged with vehicular manslaughter. Be glad this didn't happen to your son. I would take away his license, wait for the judge's verdict and yes must re-take driving class. Hopefully this was a learning lesson for him. Good luck! 2|1|You keep his driver's license for now, BUT......|maraj|maraj64@hotmail.com|00:19:57|01/18/2014|
I would hang onto them & see what the judge hands down as punishment. Whatever the judge decides, IF he or the DMV don't suspend your son's driver's license, then I would tell your son that you will give him his driver's license back ONLY for him to get a job after school/on wkends. Unless you're willing to take him back & forth to work, he's going to need his driver's license for a job in order to pay off those fines & whatever the driving classes cost AND so that he can pay the amount that the insurance will increase by. Do NOT pay his fines, driving class cost or the higher insurance premium for him. And rest assured, your insurance will now go up due to his irresponsibility & recklessness, & HE needs to deal w/the consequences of that.
He's 17, & in some states, that's close enough to legal adulthood. Very soon, he will be 18 & considered of legal age, which means he'll be entering the world of adulthood. Best he learn now cuz once he's 18, he'll no longer be protected by the "I'm a minor so my parents are still responsible for me" thing.
And Thank God nobody was hurt or worse!
ETA: Thought about this all night. Even if the judge or the DMV do suspend his license, he still needs a job to pay the fines, cost of driving class & higher insurance premium. If you're willing to run him back & forth to work for awhile, that's fine. Otherwise, I'm sure he can rideshare w/someone, take a taxi or (gasp!) ride his bike or walk. He'll probably find those means of travel demeaning or embarassing now that he's old enough to be driving himself, but tell him tough luck, that's the price you pay for irresponsible & dangerous behavior. Driving is a privilege & you lose privileges when you screw up.
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3|1|I would....|Quietwaters|Quietwaters39@hotmail.com|07:47:52|01/18/2014|
take him off your insurance, and let him get his own. If he is not working and can not afford it, then I would let him go without driving until he can. Better for him to learn hard now.
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------------------------------- 8|3|I was dropped from my moms insurance at 16....|Quietwaters|Quietwaters39@hotmail.com|17:44:57|01/18/2014|
and had to pay for my own policy, which then at least I was responsible for the higher amount it cost and not her.
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When my boys got their first jobs they paid their own insurance tho they were on my policy I would also make him pay any ticket or fines too 6|1|Whatever you do - make your son responsible for his actions and he must "pay his own way"|20yrrefunder|tradernikki@yahoo.com|14:27:52|01/18/2014|
Posted on Jan-18-14 at 02:27 PM (Eastern) by 71.0.221.244
He will never learn any lesson unless he is responsible for his own actions and has to pay to get out of his own trouble. Don't you buy him even a gallon of gas or pay any of his bills unless it is to keep him out of jail and then only with the stipulation that he has to pay you back FIRST before he can spend even one penny on himself. We went through this with our son too many times until we did the "tough love" thing with him. If I had to take him anywhere I made him pay me for my gas. He even had to collect aluminum cans at one point to get any money as he had no job. He collected recyclables and sold them for cash and then his dad charged him for the gas it took him to haul the crap to the salvage yard. He hated us for a long time but has now learned how much better life is when you "follow the rules", etc.
Nikki
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Nikki
http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/366.html 7|2|here u cannot just drop him from your insurance....now if they take his lic..then i guess u would be able too|couponsnsamples|cpsnsamples@aol.com|17:00:01|01/18/2014|
..but as long as he is lic..he would have to be on someones insurance 9|3|Here a parent can make the choice to have a childs liscense revoked. |Quietwaters|Quietwaters39@hotmail.com|17:46:46|01/18/2014|
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you want them to learn hard and fast, so you are not trailing behind them picking up the pieces until they are in there forties.
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Young kids and license=temptation and often immature decisions......as the mom of a 19 year old son, I was FRANTIC when he got his license. They (particularly boys) think they are immortal. I put him on his own insurance policy (at TRIPLE the cost) and made him pay for a portion of it (even though had something happened, technically I would have been held responsible as well since he was under 18). So his first year of insurance cost him over $2,000. I downloaded a 13 page driving contract for new drivers and customized it to suit my needs and we spent well over two hours going over it item by item and he had to initial each section to verify that he listened, heard and understood that particular clause (just like you would do in a mortgage). We went over everything, from grades, agreeing to not having passengers, speeding, drugs and alcohol, etc.....very thorough and when I caught him driving around with friends in his car four months later, we followed the first strike penalty which was loss of his car for two weeks and the best part about it was, there was no arguing and he couldn't say we didn't discuss this because there was his initials in black and white proving that we had gone over it and he understood the ramifications of such an action.
I honestly would recommend this type of contract for any mom or dad of a new driver. We've been pretty good and now that he is totally under his own insurance policy, pays his entire insurance bill and gas as well two years of additional maturing since getting his license he's been very responsible. It also helps that in Massachusetts it's so darn expensive to insure that the majority of his friends can't even afford to get their license, car or afford to insure, so he knows how lucky he is so he doesn't want to jeopardize it.
I wish you the best of luck......it's the age...and hopefully this will leave a very important impression on him. 12|2|very wise to do all that preliminary work, Kelly....saves all the fighting when punishment has to be given|suezz|clearys@comcast.net|11:11:58|01/19/2014|
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13|1|THANK YOU ALL FOR THE INPUT!! and no he don't have a job yet was waiting for 2014 to get here so we didn't have to work on taxes for him for 2013 he has applications to put in and we will get that done this week and yes i know that we are responsible for him even tho HE KNOWS HE IS RESPONISIBLE for his OWN actions and he knows what he did was wrong and if he surrenders his license we can remove him from insurance here you can't get your own policy till 18 years old so either the judge will take them and we will take him off the insurance or he will surrender them ahead of court time in february |lydzkydz|lydzmcss@yahoo.com|22:29:55|01/19/2014|
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THANKS!! 14|2|Quick question inside:|littlewolf|CCsuterlab@aol.com|09:46:08|01/20/2014|
Hi!! Wondering if you have talked to your insurance company about the situation?? I know that you are talking about removing him from your insurance BUT the damage may already be done to your insurance rates depending on how he is treated in court. Even if he is not still on your insurance, the rates may still go up depending on how his case comes out in the end. Example: Son of a friend(also under age) totaled his truck and was removed from their insurance(they thought it would keep their rates from going up)...however, their rates still went up because he was on their insurance at the time of the accident...
I would not have him surrender his license right now though because you never know what the judge may be willing to do with the tickets. I say that because I have had friends with similar tickets but the judge was *lenient* with them due to it being a first offense. Also, if you *surrender* them before then, the judge will automatically look at the case as he is *guilty* and may not be willing to work with him.
If you have a lawyer in your area that will do free consultations, I would set up an a appointment with him/her and see what they think about the case. I know that the lawyers here will tell you to hold onto your license UNTIL the DMV or court says otherwise.
15|3|we have decided to just hold his license till the court date and see what the juvenile judge does then go from there thanks ya'll|lydzkydz|lydzmcss@yahoo.com|15:35:59|01/20/2014|
please include your user name on refundsweepers.
i appreciate all the trades made in the past.
THANKS!! 16|4|CYE|2597grandma|hbs4470@optonline.net|19:26:14|01/20/2014|
CYE. I sent you a message. 17|5|GOOD GRIEF!|angNC|memawang@nc.rr.com|01:48:51|01/21/2014|
POOR MOM,hoping and praying things get better