My husband died in Nov and I miss him so much. There are things I just can't talk about with family. I feel like sometimes I can't face another day. I want to sleep all the time. My children are grown and have their own lifes. I care for my mom Thank God I am not by myself. I am so so lonesome. Sometimes I even have a hard time praying....just don't know what to say. I don't mean to have a pity party. I just miss him so much. 1|1|First, my sympathies and I hope you find your way. Second, grieving is normal and takes time....but some of what you describe sounds like depression too. Do you have resources to get someone to talk with?|Barb09|Barb0969@AOL.com|23:13:54|02/09/2013|
Smooches to those that sold our lifestyle for 12
minutes of fame.
2|1|Awww I'm so sorry|shellysmsmo|jpksms@sbcglobal.net|23:43:43|02/09/2013|
If you ever need to talk. Just email me. : ). Hugs. I'm sorry. I can't imagine. 3|1|I'm so very sorry. If you need to talk, please feel free to email me|Mackiesmudder|Mackiesmudder@aol.com|04:32:58|02/10/2013|
Cathie 4|1|I am soo very sorry for your loss ((HUGS))|Skaytes|skaytez@gmail.com|07:51:39|02/10/2013|
I am a subscriber/member of Garnettes Bad Trader Alert Listing
My online trade name on all boards is Skaytes
Feedback for me is at: http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/203.html
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5|1|Psalm 91 helped me|cinda68|lacinda68@gmail.com|12:36:24|02/10/2013|
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I know what it feels like to not be able to face another day. When my husband passed away I felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt like a part of me was torn away from me and the pain was too much to bear. My children were 14 and 8 and it was like our whole life stopped, instantly. It was really hard on my daughter, she was only 8 and she would shake and cry at night, crying for Daddy. The doctor had to give her a sedative just to sleep.
We did nothing but cry in bed for the first few weeks. I barely functioned and the house was not being cleaned at all. I opened my bible to psalm 91 and read it whenever I thought I was going to break down and cry. Some days it was every hour or so, some days less. One day about a month after he passed, I got out of bed and went downstairs and told the kids, you know what guys, we are still alive and we are going to live! I refused to live as if we were dead too, I went from sad to determined...knowing I had children to take care of still. From that day on I knew I had to go on and praying a lot and reading psalm 91 gave me great comfort.
It does ease with time, I would encourage you to ask for strength from God and find passages of scripture that comfort you and keep them handy. I kept my bible open to psalm 91 on my table all day so it wouldn't be far at any time. There are also grief forums online, I'm not sure where now, that can help to talk to other widows because it is really hard to explain this to someone who hasn't lost a spouse. Sometimes my prayer was simply, God please help. That is surely enough as He knows what you are going through.
You will be in my prayers, be thankful for this day that God has given to you. :) 6|2|these might help too|cinda68|lacinda68@gmail.com|12:47:59|02/10/2013|
The LORD preserveth the strangers; he relieveth the fatherless and widow: but the way of the wicked he turneth upside down. Psalm 146:9
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 1 Peter 5:7
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27
I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. Psalm 40:1
Isaiah 61
1 The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;
2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;
3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. 7|3|Sorry for your pain, i will pray for you|angNC|memawang@nc.rr.com|14:01:39|02/10/2013|
I don't know what to say,I'm here if you need someone. 8|4|ty|kmanick|karen.manick@yahoo.com|17:27:10|02/10/2013|
thanks to everyone with kind words. I never dreamed I would be a widow at 55. We had plans and dreams. We married young I was 16 and he was 19. We had our children when I was 18 and 20. Now I am alone. With Gods help I can and will make it every day. Some times i just need to talk to someone that is not family. Thanks
>Posted on Feb-10-13 at 02:01 PM (Eastern)
>by 184.4.71.184I don't know what to
>say,I'm here if you need someone.
>
16|5|I was widowed at 59...the book to read is: "I wasn't ready to say good-bye"|DE01740|DESimunek@yahoo.com|19:18:52|02/11/2013|
I read this several times and it along with time helped tremendously!!
Please feel free to email me if I can help in anyway. In the meantime...you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Debbie
9|1|see inside|bloobird|bloobird1@comcast.net|17:54:26|02/10/2013|
If you have a Healing Journey organization in your area I urge you to at least attend one session.
Wanda
10|2|My prayers are with you. I am so very sorry for your loss. I am sure at this time it feels so overwhelming. It does get better. It may not feel like it, but it does. Take it slow and easy. Everything in baby steps. Breathe, one foot in front of the other.|Ranalt|ainebailey@gmail.com|19:15:40|02/10/2013|
It helps to talk with those that have gone through what you are going through. See if there is something in your area. If you can't find something or don't know where to look, feel free to post here or email me and I will help you find something.
Strangely enough, volunteering helps! It's duo-fold, gets you out of the house and you feel good by helping others. If you are not ready for that step yet, try to do something different.
Take a walk, read a book, call a friend, etc.
Post here every now and then and let us know how you are doing.
Take care.
11|1|I'm sorry for your loss & will keep you in my prayers.|maraj|maraj64@hotmail.com|20:21:50|02/10/2013|
Life is like a cup of tea,
It's all in how you make it.
Lisa
Try to remember, one day at a time. :)
My sister lost her husband a little over a year ago. She's doing ok now for the most part & the days of crying are less. Does she miss him or love him less? No way! But the pain of losing him lessens a little bit each day as she heals a little more each day. Some days are still rough tho. It's expected & quite normal.
Grieving & healing take time & there is NO time limit or right/wrong way to grieve. Each person is different so naturally, grieving is different for each person.
Wanting to or sleeping alot can be a sign of depression, & it's totally understandable to be depressed as you grieve the loss of your dear husband, the person you raised your children with & shared your life with, leaning on & being there for each other for so many years.
It might not be a bad idea to talk to your dr. about it & possibly too, ask for a low dose anti-depressant to help tide you over for a little while, to help ease some of your depression, if you're able to take something like that. Maybe just for the 1st year as you go thru all the "firsts" w/out him here (birthdays, anniversaries, holidays).
As others have suggested, some kind of grief therapy will definitely help as it'll connect you w/others who are also grieving the loss of a spouse, those who can understand exactly what you're going thru.
And yes, some kind of volunteer work will help, as Ranalt suggested, as it will get you out of the house & make you feel good about yourself helping others, but also, it'll help take your mind off some of the emptiness you're feeling right now in your heart. It's wonderful how helping others can be so healing.
Some people also go thru a period of restlessness in the grieving process. It's normal to be in the middle of doing something at home & feel the sudden urge to get out of the house & go somewhere, even if it's no where in particular. My suggestion is do it - drop whatever you're doing & GO. Whether it's just for a walk or going to the store for no reason or a movie, whatever or where ever. Go when that urge hits. Take your mom with if she's ready, willing & able, go out for lunch or coffee, or go by yourself if you prefer.
And do something different that you haven't done or don't normally do. Different hair style, going to an antique shop or flea market, maybe putting up new curtains, rearranging the bedroom or living room, getting together w/friends for a game of cards & snacks. Other than major decisions, whatever the mood strikes you to do, do it. I caution on major decisions as it's best to wait at least a year on those, preferably 2 yrs., as you go thru these new changes in your life.
Above all else, take care of yourself! :)
Smile... it makes people wonder what you're up to!
Please identify yourself in 1st email w/name/username. Due to recent problem trades, if I haven't traded w/you before, I will probably require you send your end 1st or I'll need LEGIT trade references/feedback. I will be happy to provide the same. IF you plan to hold your end til you've received mine, I will need to know that IMMEDIATELY, BEFORE trade is finalized.
12|2|So sorry - Will keep you in my prayers!!!! Hang in there! Teresa|cashcoll|cashcoll@yahoo.com|20:44:11|02/10/2013|
Have a Great Day!
*********************************
GO HOGS GO!!
Woooooooooo, Pig! Sooiee!
15|2|ty|kmanick|karen.manick@yahoo.com|12:59:05|02/11/2013|
thanks for all the kind words.This week has been really hard,my birthday and then valenines day. My mom just had surgery on her foot so she is down for a few weeks and I can't leave for a long amount of time. Just knowing I can talk to someone with out being afraid of upsetting some one. I did change up my bedroom and the kitchen a little.I have my church which I am so so thankful for. I just feel half dressed when I go any where alone. I guess that sounds strange but David was always there.
>Posted on Feb-10-13 at 08:21 PM (Eastern)
>by 98.143.230.108Try to remember, one day
>at a time. :) My sister
>lost her husband a little over
>a year ago. She's doing ok
>now for the most part &
>the days of crying are less.
>Does she miss him or love
>him less? No way! But the
>pain of losing him lessens a
>little bit each day as she
>heals a little more each day.
>Some days are still rough tho.
>It's expected & quite normal.
>Grieving & healing take time &
>there is NO time limit or
>right/wrong way to grieve. Each person
>is different so naturally, grieving is
>different for each person. Wanting
>to or sleeping alot can be
>a sign of depression, & it's
>totally understandable to be depressed as
>you grieve the loss of your
>dear husband, the person you raised
>your children with & shared your
>life with, leaning on & being
>there for each other for so
>many years. It might not
>be a bad idea to talk
>to your dr. about it &
>possibly too, ask for a low
>dose anti-depressant to help tide you
>over for a little while, to
>help ease some of your depression,
>if you're able to take something
>like that. Maybe just for the
>1st year as you go thru
>all the "firsts" w/out him here
>(birthdays, anniversaries, holidays). As others have
>suggested, some kind of grief therapy
>will definitely help as it'll connect
>you w/others who are also grieving
>the loss of a spouse, those
>who can understand exactly what you're
>going thru. And yes, some kind
>of volunteer work will help, as
>Ranalt suggested, as it will get
>you out of the house &
>make you feel good about yourself
>helping others, but also, it'll help
>take your mind off some of
>the emptiness you're feeling right now
>in your heart. It's wonderful how
>helping others can be so healing.
>Some people also go thru a
>period of restlessness in the grieving
>process. It's normal to be in
>the middle of doing something at
>home & feel the sudden urge
>to get out of the house
>& go somewhere, even if it's
>no where in particular. My suggestion
>is do it - drop whatever
>you're doing & GO. Whether it's
>just for a walk or going
>to the store for no reason
>or a movie, whatever or where
>ever. Go when that urge hits.
>Take your mom with if she's
>ready, willing & able, go out
>for lunch or coffee, or go
>by yourself if you prefer.
>And do something different that you
>haven't done or don't normally do.
>Different hair style, going to an
>antique shop or flea market, maybe
>putting up new curtains, rearranging the
>bedroom or living room, getting together
>w/friends for a game of cards
>& snacks. Other than major decisions,
>whatever the mood strikes you to
>do, do it. I caution on
>major decisions as it's best to
>wait at least a year on
>those, preferably 2 yrs., as you
>go thru these new changes in
>your life. Above all else,
>take care of yourself! :)
>
> Smile... it makes people wonder what
>you're up to!
>Please identify yourself in 1st email w/name/username.
>Due to recent problem trades, if
>I haven't traded w/you before, I
>will probably require you send your
>end 1st or I'll need LEGIT
>trade references/feedback. I will be happy
>to provide the same. IF you
>plan to hold your end til
>you've received mine, I will need
>to know that IMMEDIATELY, BEFORE trade
>is finalized. If you're happy w/our
>trade, please leave feedback for me
>at: http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/1133.html I'll gladly do the
>same for you upon request.:)
13|1|So sorry for your loss....|Quietwaters|Quietwaters39@hotmail.com|07:18:56|02/11/2013|
praying for God to strengthen you, and like Cindy said, give you a determination to be able to go on. God has a plan for your life, and seeking Him for that plan is the best thing you can do. Been with my husband since I we were fifteen and seventeen, so I can imagine how lost you must feel. Praying for you.
************
of good, well-thought suggestions. Maybe one or some of them will
be of use to you.
Be Gentle With Yourself.
Laura 17|2|how to get over being so lonesome|kmanick|karen.manick@yahoo.com|20:58:31|02/22/2013|
I am so lonesome. I can't seem to get my mind on anything. I feel so unconnected from every thing sometimes.I have never been alone, always been a wife and mother now my husband is gone and my kids are grown. I so wanted to go on a cruise but my best friend is also taking care of her mother and can't leave. My sister was going to watch out for our mom.....maybe later I really don't want to sound like I am feeling sorry for my self I am just at a place that I really don't know how to handle it. 18|3|Do you work? If not...can you volunteer some where to fill some void and have an activity that is new and not connected to your loss? I don't know how old you are (and am not asking)...but if you are older you can volunteer at the hospital, the library, the animal shelter etc...to have a new place where you are needed and it will increase the number of people you interact with and give your mind new things to think about. |Barb09|Barb0969@AOL.com|21:14:26|02/22/2013|
Smooches to those that sold our lifestyle for 12
minutes of fame.
19|4|TY|kmanick|karen.manick@yahoo.com|22:00:00|02/22/2013|
I'M 56 and no I do not work I take care of my mom who lives with me and 2 grandkids and daughter live with me. My time is always tied up .Thanks so much for your kind words/
>Posted on Feb-22-13 at 09:14 PM (Eastern)
>by 108.234.42.176Smooches to those that sold
>our lifestyle for 12 minutes
>of fame.
20|3|This is where a grief support group would be beneficial for you in several ways........|maraj|maraj64@hotmail.com|22:18:49|02/22/2013|
You would not only be sharing your sadness & loneliness w/people who understand & know what you're feeling/going thru, but it would also get you out of the house & meeting new people.
My sister attends grief support meetings & it's been a Godsend for her, not only helping her thru her grief but meeting people that have now become her friends. They go out to lunch/supper, go to movies, flea markets, etc. & helped each other bake goodies for Christmas & wrap Christmas presents together this past Holiday season.
But now too, she is able to offer comfort & support to new widows/widowers as well, & that's been a big healing factor for her - being able to return the support & kindness she has received.
:)
Smile... it makes people wonder what you're up to!
Please identify yourself in 1st email w/name/username. Due to recent problem trades, if I haven't traded w/you before, I will probably require you send your end 1st or I'll need LEGIT trade references/feedback. I will be happy to provide the same. IF you plan to hold your end til you've received mine, I will need to know that IMMEDIATELY, BEFORE trade is finalized.
21|4|Please read inside|aurora77|aurora77@accessatc.net|22:33:04|02/22/2013|
I said a prayer for you. So sorry for your loss. Its going to take some time to heal over the loss of a loved one. Just remember he is in heaven and would want for you to be happy and not sad. One day you will see each other again. Praying for you. Sunshine 22|5|I know he would not want me to be sad I know he is in heaven|kmanick|karen.manick@yahoo.com|22:34:30|02/22/2013|
>Posted on Feb-22-13 at 10:33 PM (Eastern)
>by 216.81.98.85I said a prayer for
>you. So sorry for your loss.
>Its going to take some time
>to heal over the loss of
>a loved one. Just remember he
>is in heaven and would want
>for you to be happy and
>not sad. One day you will
>see each other again. Praying for
>you. Sunshine
23|6|Honestly, I would be lost too. I can't imagine how you feel or where you are in your grief....but I say have your grief.....have your sadness, mourn your loss it is real and it is deep....and one day you will wake up and it will be a smaller burden than the day before. and progressively smaller. Counseling and support can help....even take a 4 hour window and do something outside of your routine (like the volunteering)....not to keep you busy but to give your life something that isn't wrapped in your memories. I am sure you took care of mom and the other things you do daily when he was with you. All your movements are the same....nothing is different but your loss. Creating something in your life that is a change in your routine can help move you forward (when you are ready)....and in the meantime....while no one that hasn't lost their mate can understand we do sooooo support and care for you. You have all the sympathy and shoulder you can use when you want to talk/type/complain. Blessing and healing for you!!!!|Barb09|Barb0969@AOL.com|13:46:53|02/23/2013|
Smooches to those that sold our lifestyle for 12
minutes of fame.
24|1|I am so sorry...|tamioutoftime|tamioutoftime@aol.com|16:27:48|02/23/2013|
There is nothing I can that will make you feel any better. My heart goes out to you. My husband and I do not even live together (he is in the army) but I can not imagine not having him to talk to. I will pray for you to find peace.
NOTICE: Due to current work load "the light at the end of the tunnel" has been temporarily shut off. 25|1|I am in tears reading this post and all the replies|suzhappy|suzhappy51@hotmail.com|17:28:58|02/23/2013|
Oh how I so DON'T want to have be where you are. I want to be the one that goes first because I don't think I could handle the grief. It's too much for me even to talk or type about it. But I also want to say what a WONDERFUL group of people we have here on Refundsweepers. I can almost FEEL your arms reaching out to lend a hug and some support. Do you know how lucky we are to have each other??? How in all the millions of sites out there in cyberland - this particular group of people joined THIS site and we all came together from all parts of the country to share forms, coupons, auctions, freebies, advice and most importantly... LOVE! I for one am so happy to be here. God Bless you all.
Please leave me feedback if we have had a favorable trade and I will do the same for you!
http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/28.html 26|1|praying you find peace |LindaOH|Martinl3@roadrunner.com|19:49:19|02/23/2013|
God bless and be with you