Got a facebook message that he wanted to friend me and he did the same to my sister. This is so weird. I lost my Mom over a year ago and the father that raised me when I was about 13 years old. So I had really come to terms with the fact that I had no parents. Now here I am and I have a Dad. Totally mixed feelings. I don't know what to think. He seems to be a lot like my sister... which is not the greatest thing in the world because she brings a lot of drama into my life... been then so does most of my side of the family. I'm not sure what I feel right now. When I talk to him by myself, he seems normal, but he mentions often that he's alot like my sister. I actually spent time with my sister yesterday and it just really stresses me out. She's kind of "on" all the time if you know what I mean. She's loud, and constantly talks about how beautiful she is all the time, and is just the total opposite of me! And she's always making comments about how I stress her out and how my house stresses hers out... because I have so much stuff and it's very cluttered. But it is really this way because I've had health issues for a long time and can't get to everything. And I have a special needs son who takes a lot of my time. My sister always wants to help and clean out stuff, but she wants to just throw stuff out or give it away... and I have stuff here that I can resell and help pay the bills. I actually pay all my bills and some months I need this extra stuff to sell to squeek out enough to pay them!... she's the type who's always getting stuff turned off or renting stuff and returning it, constantly redecorating, etc. I buy my stuff and keep it until it dies! I own my house, I own my car, etc. She doesn't... never has. I can't just throw stuff out and replace it like she does all the time. I have stuff for ebay and stuff for garage sales that I keep around and then when it doesn't go to ebay or the garage sale or the second hand kids store who buys stuff from us, I donate it! We have taken several van trips full of items to goodwill each year. So I'm not a hoarder or anything, I get rid of lots of stuff... and sure I wish things were less cluttered... but who is she to say anything.
My sister is a hair dresser with seasonal work and a single mom and her ex has her daughter half the time. I have a full time year round job and a family of 4 that are around all the time... We lead different lives and what is right for her isn't right for me.
Another thing that bothered me last night is she had be bring over all the family pictures that I was given 20 years ago to hold onto, because she wants to make a photo album for our dad of pictures he missed, which is a cute idea... well... she starts going through the photo albums and pulls out all the pictures she want's to make copies of... I have them all in photo albums, now I have no idea where they go to put them back... I'm talking 100's of photos and she wasn't the one who spend hours upon hours putting them into the albums to begin with and she isn't going to be the one to put them back... putting me futher behind... then she leaves them on he floor with her puppy running around! HELLO!!!! He could very easily pee on them! She says he won't... she doesn't know that! It's paper laying on the floor... The puppy who doesn't pee in her just pooed in it this morning! UGH!!! These are irreplacable photos of people who are deceased! Why risk it? I asked her to pick them up over and over again... and she just brushed me off...
Then she tells me she's going to find the worst pictures of me from when we were kids and start posting them on facebook.... I told her please don't. I have people from work on my facebook etc... I just don't want all that stuff on there. She is famous for posting a photo with a remark on the bottom... I just don't want to deal with it!
Having my dad around right now is really stressing... because I have to deal with her too. I've tried to talk to her, but it really does no good.
I'm overwhelmed at work this year because I've been out for 3 months for health issues this year... and now I feel like I have no control over anything in my life. No wonder I have health problems. I don't know what to do right now. I have been off the computer for a while, and stopped couponing... but I just can't fit it all in. I'm stressed!!!!
Laurie
1|1|You are an adult....and you can control how much you allow him in your life. Take that control. |Barb09|Barb0969@AOL.com|14:32:09|12/16/2012|
I looked and looked and found no coupons for troll food......SO, I don't feed the trolls!! 2|2|I want to get to know him... but with less of my sister....|jdlaurie|savethosepennies@aol.com|15:07:58|12/16/2012|
does that make sense? I don't mind getting to know him, it would be nice to know more... but I can't deal with her all the time unless she wants to tone it down a bit.... but she won't. She has always been the "issue" in the family. I'm not sure how to let him know that I want to get to know him... but I can't handle being around her. She really needs him... maybe I should just step away from both. My sister always has horrible stuff to say about family and causes problems... she's been admitted into pyschiatric hospitals a few times... but I really want him to figure out her quirks without me helping him along. I don't think it's my place to tell him all the bad stuff... he really needs to make his own determinations about her, just as everyone else eventually does. I think people should always decide for themselves.
Another thing that happened last night is she said something mean and I didn't respond. So she starts telling him that I'm mad at her now. She has no idea how I feel about stuff. She would be mad if it happened to her... but I don't get mad very often. I'm not vindicitive, I don't hold grudges... that's her... not me... She tells people this stuff like she knows and she doesn't.
I don't get mad and yell and I don't get excited and jump all over the place saying this is the most wonderful day of my life. I'm a very calm person.
She's the type of person who will tell me she's coming over on a holiday and then lie to me and tell me she sick and can't make it or just not show up. I don't get mad because she couldn't make it, I get mad that she lied to me about it. If she would just call and say I'm really not up for it today... that would be great. I just want her to be honest. I totally understand, we all have good days and bad days. Why do people constantly lie? It's exhausting!
I guess if being reasonable is crazy... I'm crazy. 3|3|Can't you do "just the two of you" stuff? Like...ask HIM to lunch. ask HIM to your house, etc? |Barb09|Barb0969@AOL.com|15:16:15|12/16/2012|
I looked and looked and found no coupons for troll food......SO, I don't feed the trolls!! 4|4|Laurie, I agree with Barb take control.........|melpaul|Melpaul199@aol.com|18:33:21|12/16/2012|
...of how much time with him alsoyour sister I think that's a good idea spend time with him without your sister
until all settles down between all
5|1|I know...|jdlaurie|savethosepennies@aol.com|21:55:17|12/16/2012|
she's just tried to control everything so far. It was this way with Mom too... my sister is just the kind of person that talks behind everyones back and says horrible things.... hopefully he figures it own soon on his own.