Seriously, I know I sound like a grade schooler....but my 8 year old dd is literally tearing me apart.
There are days (very few in between lately) where she is the sweetest human being ever, but then there are days when I just want to run away crying.....wth happened?
This morning she came downstairs with shorts that were WWAAY too short for her so I told her so and asked her to change....this created a HUGE fiasco. She ended up leaving for daycare in a huff and wouldn't speak to me.....
I'm sitting at my counter crying.....and trying to pull myself together for work.......
I know part of this is because she's spoiled...but really????? I KNOW in my heart I HAVE to do tough love....but I LIKE doing for my kids....I LIKE giving them opportunities....but honestly, I'm tired of giving and giving to my dd only to be disrespected and treated like crap.
Ladies, did anyone of you go through this with your young daughters? And if so, what helped you? 1|1|I have an 11 yo and we have these discussions too...|Sara_s_Mom|IClipCoupons@gmail.com|07:28:55|04/16/2012|
Call me a meanie, but she wore something inappropriate after being told not to. So, we made her throw it away, with her being the one to put it in the trash. You have to be vigilant now to help avoid issues later on. If her shorts were too short (due to her outgrowing them) then go through her clothes with her and pull out what doesn't fit anymore and donate them to help head off the next fight over clothes. Remember that puberty is coming earlier for girls and I think that's why we are having 'teen' issues so soon. Hang in there! 2|2|Thanks so much.....it really helps to know I'm not alone.....|kellysp6637|frugalk76@aol.com|07:33:50|04/16/2012|
the weather has been so cold that I just haven't made the time to go through her short drawer....but I guess I'll have to make the time this weekend....ofcourse dad didn't help because he'd rather have things go smooth and not fight with her about it.....but he doesn't understand that there are SOME things you HAVE to be more firm about...and sorry, having my 8 year old dd leave the house looking like a hooch, is NOT something I will allow.
It's just the behavior and attitude that is really the problem....... 3|1|If you know you have given.....|Quietwaters|Quietwaters39@hotmail.com|07:56:47|04/16/2012|
her every thing she wants, then she will not know how to deal with the word no, and then be disrespectful when you tell her no. Bounderies are a healthy part of growing up, and the younger they learn that the less problems you will have with them as they hit the teens. I
I agree, get rid of everything you do not want her to wear, one less thing to fight about then. Some things we would put in the pajama drawer, with the talk this is for home only. One of the big problems with clothing is they are making hoochie clothes for little girls, and there are lots of parents that send their daughters out that way, so it then seems the norm.
************
>Posted on Apr-16-12 at 07:22 AM (Eastern)
>by 108.49.148.228Seriously, I know I sound
>like a grade schooler....but my 8
>year old dd is literally tearing
>me apart.
>There are days (very few in between
>lately) where she is the sweetest
>human being ever, but then there
>are days when I just want
>to run away crying.....wth happened?
>This morning she came downstairs with shorts
>that were WWAAY too short for
>her so I told her so
>and asked her to change....this created
>a HUGE fiasco. She ended up
>leaving for daycare in a huff
>and wouldn't speak to me.....
>I'm sitting at my counter crying.....and trying
>to pull myself together for work.......
>
>I know part of this is because
>she's spoiled...but really????? I KNOW in
>my heart I HAVE to do
>tough love....but I LIKE doing for
>my kids....I LIKE giving them opportunities....but
>honestly, I'm tired of giving and
>giving to my dd only to
>be disrespected and treated like crap.
>
>Ladies, did anyone of you go through
>this with your young daughters?
>And if so, what helped you?
>
5|1|do you think she might have some issues going on medically going from nice and sweet to mean and rude i know people like that and they ended up being bi polar but not in all cases |lydzkydz|lydzmcss@yahoo.com|13:22:47|04/16/2012|
try not to let her see that she gets to you
maybe she enjoys making you upset
my 15 year old did and me and him set down and had a chat
i just walk away after we get done fussing so he don't see me boiling (putting it nicely)
hope you can get things worked out
please include your user name on refundsweepers.
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THANKS!! 6|2|AAAAHHHHHHH.........pre teen, isn't it lovely?|kdrink|kdrink34@yahoo.com|14:42:54|04/16/2012|
The subject area title says it all!!!! 7|3|Kelly....is she picking this up from the older brother?|BusterBrown|srfreezerqueen@hotmail.com|18:25:33|04/16/2012|
If I remember correctly you went thru a similar phase with him..perhaps she has picked it up from him? Or has she met a new friend in school that may have tude? 8|1|I second what everyone's said thus far (m)|hudge4|hudge95@yahoo.com|23:36:36|04/16/2012|
The 'tude can start around this age. Better to nip it in the bud. Grounding, spanking, whatever you believe in for discipline. She can't think she can get away with talking to you that way or else she'll keep doing it. I think it's being manipulative and because of that, she can't be allowed to see you so upset. Kids will always push your buttons. They're trying to see what it takes, how far they have to go, to get you to concede.
Hang tight!
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9|2|I have 2 daughters...ages 19 and 20. Basically, turning 19 and 20 slows it down, lol. I am honest....the years between 9ish and 18ish were TOUGH. They are struggling to be themselves and prove how much they DON'T need you.....when they need you most!!!! It is like having a REALLY big 2-3 year old! I did try to remind my girls that I was a PERSON and not just a mom. That I had feelings just like they did....and to consider that when they behave the way they do/did. Rough waters ahead! It is easier to understand that it is hormones and changes taking over her brain that she has no control over. They do come out from wherever they are fuming at and apologize.....and it makes it a tad bit more bearable....until next time. But, just like I told them about their teens...it isn't their whole lives....just a small part of it. For them to survive....and YOU!! Good luck!!! Your daughter will be back.....when she finds her brain and has it reinstalled.|Barb09|Barb0969@AOL.com|00:39:18|04/17/2012|
I looked and looked and found no coupons for troll food......SO, I don't feed the trolls!! 10|1|my son is starting with the 'tude as well... he'll be 9 in May (M)|pussecat|pu55ecat@aol.com|13:06:51|04/19/2012|
Yesterday morning his shirt came untucked and I was trying to explain to him how to see it in the hallway mirror. I ended up having to get up and go over to him. I stood in front of the mirror, behind him, and told him to face the mirror and then told him to turn to the side and an look sideways with his head so he could see where his shirt had come untucked. I turned sideways and i guess he "forgot" exactly what a mirror does because the next thing i knew he was sassing me and stuck out his tongue! OMG I freaked! We usually don't spank PJ but this time, man o man, he KNEW who Mommy was! lol He's been talking "crap" under his breath at us too. Needless to say, he's had a lot of things taken away over the past few months and we will continue to punish him accordingly. It seems his mos prized possession is the Xbox. I don't think he's been able to play it for a solid month since December. lol I agree with the other ladies, this is def something we have to nip in the bud or it'll just be worse later. Gl to you! :) Kids... gotta luv 'em!
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11|1|Oh, the memories! I don't envy you one bit. I am STILL traumatized after 30+ years.|missy|lovetotrade@hotmail.com|09:27:24|04/23/2012|
HI: I have two daughters, now in their forties. One was an absolute angel, while the other just about drove me insane. Honestly, I STILL remember. I really got to the point of feeling that I was a victim of ELDER abuse, even though I was a young Mom at the time. Things were so bad, that my estanged husband, her father, moved back in to see if HE could help. He would pick her up after her evening shift at McD's, so that she couldn't take off with boys etc etc. The more we tried to help her, the worse she got. Talk about rebellion!
TODAY though, she is a wonderful woman and mother of three. Her oldest are in university with scholarships, and her daughter will soon be graduating High School. I am very proud of her and her accomplishments. So, take heart: better days are ahead.
Kathryn 13|2|Hormones! |angNC|memawang@nc.rr.com|22:00:26|04/23/2012|
Need Avon, email me! 14|3|it is tough but you need to set guide lines now|petunia1|sweetpea39@comcast.net|22:31:24|04/23/2012|
it will only get tougher as she gets older
what I did, and it seemed to help. I politely told her that this is a tough time in her life, she is not allowed to be disrespectful and if she decides that is the way she wants to be one of us is not going to be very happy....and it will not be me !! also tols her if she ever slammed her bedroom door I would take it off and she would have no bedroom door. She got the message quick. nothing worse than no privacy as a teen.
hang in there, stay firm, it's hard sometimes but in the end it pays off 15|1|Just a thought...LOL or opinion|kdrink|kdrink34@yahoo.com|16:31:51|04/24/2012|
Just keep in mind that being disrespectful is one thing, but as a kid to be able to stand up and state what you are feeling or think about a situation is another. Sometimes it is simply the difference of how it is expressed which is often viewed as a sign of disrespect by adults, but may be that it is expressed inappropriately and in poor taste. That is where teaching communication skills comes in- to teach how to express one's thoughts tastefully and respectfully.
Personally, I am raising two young boys to be men and at any age don't want them to be taken advantage of and frankly, I don't care who it is, if they don't agree or think something is wrong/unfair/mistreated/etc I believe that they should be able to say something and not be afraid to do so. After all, adults think they have the right to tell a child what they think, why shouldn't children? My kids argue their point, and sometimes they are right, and sometimes not. But, when it comes down to the nitty gritty, they know that they can count on me to listen or if they have a "very personal" question to ask that I won't freak out. I just answer them honestly and matter of fact. Kids today will one day be leaders of tomorrow and when I'm old I want a leader, not a follower.
IMHO :)