Posted on Mar-30-12 at 05:19 PM (Eastern) by 108.49.148.228
Okay, so I filed my cs modification a few months ago.......my ds will be 18 and it will stop...which is fine. HOWEVER, I requested a modification so that my court order can be extended for college purposes only....so that ex will be responsible for 1/2 of college expenses...which I feel is totally reasonable.
Well, ex doesn't and called our son up screaming and yelling at him a few weeks ago.....ex won't talk to me and is refusing to be reasonable.
Now he's spreading rumors and telling all his family that I'm DOUBLING his child support and making him pay more......my son's cousin approached him today and my son told her it was an out and out lie....but I'm furious that he's caught in this mess.
And even MORE furious that my ex is running around making me look like some unreasonable, money hungry witch.....I've ALWAYS been fair...and even to a fault...yet he still feels like he's some sort of VICTIM.
Now, it appears he might have hired a lawyer to represent him (however I don't know for sure, since he won't talk to me), which frankly is fine, but I'm wondering what his intent is...I mean, the lawyer can't get out of the court order right now.....so it must be to try to stop me from asking for 1/2 college expenses.
I was thinking perhaps I should hire a lawyer too, however, I am a good speaker and can rationally state my case, and will also have the DOR representative there for the court order (I realize they don't act on behalf of a lawyer).......I can't imagine there would be a judge in the land that would find my request unreasonable.
Your thoughts?
1|1|Thoughts?|kellysp6637|frugalk76@aol.com|17:22:51|03/30/2012|
:) 2|2| CS in MA is rewritten after 18 to decide if it will continue and will continue if the child goes to post HS education. From what I have seen, that education is not considered a right and |suezz|clearys@comcast.net|17:39:32|03/30/2012|
there may be some onus to prove that education is an accepted/customary aspect of life in the family. That may be why ex has a lawyer...to show that college is not something that is traditionally accepted in the family and to offer options the would preclude him paying the tuition...things like part time education with your son paying more of the expenses than you want
*******************************
Please include your RS screen name when you contact me in response to a posting. Thanks
3|3|hmmm...I hadn't thought of it from that aspect....|kellysp6637|frugalk76@aol.com|17:55:16|03/30/2012|
Well, it is expected in my family, though my ex has never been to college.....
I wouldn't imagine my son should be deprived just because my ex could never have made it through.
But that is an interesting aspect.
4|4|Depends on what you mean by "expected in my family" If you have a degree now that may make the point--BUT were you given the education by your parents, or did you earn it yourself as you got older?The court may look at those facts |suezz|clearys@comcast.net|18:03:51|03/30/2012|
*******************************
Please include your RS screen name when you contact me in response to a posting. Thanks
5|1|That seems to be digging far more than anyone I know has experienced|whitmarg|robin@whitmannet.com|19:06:10|03/30/2012|
I've known quite a few friends who have done exactly what you are trying to do, Kelly, in MA, and succeeded. College, while not compulsory, is proven to be almost a requirement for survival. One friend sued her ex for full college expenses for their son. She never stepped foot in a college and her ex went to mechanic school. The court stated that without the education, the parents were not preparing their son for life... and the ex had to pay 1/2 the expenses.. undergrad and grad!! Remember, judges are very educated people (I'm not saying smart... I'm saying they go through many years of education) so they have an appreciation for it. Keep in mind, they will look at your son's grades and school activities. He needs to be "college material" in order for this to fly. And the judge may dictate a state college vs a private college. So, UMass is about $8K in tuition and almost that much again in fees (check this... my son graduated 4 years ago) and be very sure to not ask for TUITION alone, as that is often the cheaper aspect of a college education. All the fees involved add up and are required.
As for whether to hire a lawyer or not... no matter how well spoken you are or how comfortable you are speaking in front of people, keep in mind that lawyers talk to lawyers. The old adage goes something like "A man who is his own lawyer, has a fool as a client." Don't ruin your chances by representing yourself. I know it costs money but in the end what you need is legal advice. 6|1|Child can possibly get financial assistance for further education,|SandyC|sacoates1@msn.com|19:26:10|03/30/2012|
depending on your (custodial parent) income, of course. That way, neither one (you or ex) has to worry about it.
Good luck.
:D
SandyC
7|2|There's no chance my son would qualify for any kind of financial assistance based on my and my dh's income|kellysp6637|frugalk76@aol.com|19:55:12|03/30/2012|
Posted on Mar-30-12 at 07:55 PM (Eastern) by 108.49.148.228
Therefore, I really need my ex to step up to the plate....
I'm not asking for half of Harvard tuition...I'm asking for half of a technical college OR a state school and related expenses (fees, books, insurance).......
I had to put myself through college while working full time...I know how difficult it can be, not to mention the loans I'm STILL paying back. I had my son when I was 17 (my ex was 23 at the time)....he left us with nothing...and I struggled my butt off to provide the best life possible for my son. I've went from welfare to doing pretty good for myself and had to get Department of Revenue involved before my ex was MADE to step up and even then, I had to have DOR garnish his wages to ensure consistent child support.
It appears that my ex is resentful that I got married to man that can provide a beautiful home and things for us.......and tells my son stuff like this, even though he has a beautiful home, every gadget out available plus a $50,000 truck. The man needs to get a grip. He has somehow turned this into a competition of what he has versus what I have, when that is NOT what it should be about.
I'm completely done with him.......and sadly, my son is starting to talk this way...he's never seen this side of his dad before because I've always shielded him from it and now my ex is proving just what a donkey butt he is.....this is heartwrenching.
I think that's why I'm just going to go to court and let what will be, be......regardless, I will make sure my son is supported......even if my ex won't.....but if he pulls this, that will be it......I will make no effort to include him in any aspect of my life...and sadly, my son has said the same.
8|3| not sure, check your state|countrygirl|electricunit@cs.com|17:10:09|03/31/2012|
but my daughter has 2 children. Her ex has to pay child
suppose until they are 18. If they go to college he has
to pay until they are 24 if they are still in college.
(not sure about the 1/2 + 1/2) It may be on a mutual
agreement.