UGH....for SIXTEEN years I've managed to shield what an asshat my ex husband is from our son....I've always believed in raising my son without bad mouthing his dad no matter WHAT a selfish person he is.......I always KNEW the day would come he would expose his true colors....and that day has come.
My son will be 17 this weekend......his father has been yapping about how he's going to do this and that for him......get him a car, and insure him, blah blah blah.......
Well......my son fell in love with this gorgeous cadillac eldorado touring coupe.....so I purchased it for him. Then his dad told him he'd insure him since he gets a great deal on insurance....so I pay the $4,000 for the car...and THEN my ex tells my son that he can't afford to pay for insurance but will try to work something out with me.....okay so fine....I offer to pay him for half of the insurance.....my ex says he'll think about it....
THEN...ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?????? He calls my son and tells him, he'll insure him BUT only if he moves in with him so that he doesn't have to pay child support???? Are you KIDDING ME?????? My son says he really doesn't want to have to do that.....
THEN he calls my son again and tells him.....okay....well, I'll think about it IF your mother lets me claim you on my taxes this year??? WTH???? This guy is a true beauty.
First off, I've ALWAYS told the courts I will take less than DOR orders...(last time we went to court 7 years ago, DOR said he should pay $1,300/month in child support) but I thought that was a bit extreme and told them I would take significantly LESS than that....I didn't want to be greedy....just wanted him to be fair.....
Anyway....I'm DONE with this jerk......My son is incredibly hurt that he feels the need to constantly "get" something in return for being a parent and doing typical parent things......
In a way, I'm relieved that my son has finally seen his true colors....but I'm hurting for my son.......my ex should have NEVER talked about this crap with my son......
Thankfully, my son KNOWS he is my #1 and I will always be there for him....and I'll take care of this....but I've NEVER hated my ex the way I do at this very moment.
Sorry, thank you for letting me vent......... 1|1|thanks for letting me vent|kellysp6637|frugalk76@aol.com|20:37:42|01/23/2012|
I REALLY needed it. 2|2|Praying for your situation|mmlvr|farmmnger95@verizon.net|21:16:53|01/23/2012|
Sounds like something my ex would do. I think he proposed to the mother of his kids, just so she wouldn't take him to court for child support again. Not that he ever paid it anyway. Some people don't deserve the air they breathe!!!! 3|1|I'm so sorry you and your son have to go through this Kelly (((HUGS)))~*~|RebekkaVA|queen_vulture@msn.com|21:49:31|01/23/2012|
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4|1|I can relate|cinda68|lacinda68@gmail.com|11:09:24|01/24/2012|
My son is 24 and for his entire life, his father has seen him only a handful of times. I tried to contact his father so many times to get him to try and be a part of my son's life to no avail. From the day he was born, his father has told me several times that our son is nothing more than a burden to him. He paid $35 per week the entire time he was growing up. I tried to get the support raised but his family is very influential in the town where they live...and the judge always took their side.
Through the years, he would show up (he lives in another state) and show off his fancy new trucks to our son when he was little. I didn't speak bad of his father, I knew the day would come too. All the while my son needed basics like clothes, coats and shoes. $35 a week child support. The only communication I got from his father was that our son was a burden, costing him too much money. Yep.
A while back when my son was about to get his license, his father wanted to finally establish contact with him. Oh he gave him the big promises about buying him a truck when he got a license. I told my son not to get your hopes up. So the day came when he got his license, he called his father...and his father told him "I don't believe you". He called around to other relatives to confirm that he actually got his license. My son was incredibly hurt and that was the final straw for him. He wants nothing to do with his father at all, and he is ok with that. And after all these years, raising him alone...I'm grateful he wasn't there. My son wouldn't be the man he is today if he had his biological father as a guide. 5|1|I keep hoping the "someone" will get swallowed up in a sink hole. LOL|maraj|maraj64@hotmail.com|12:10:12|01/24/2012|
Smile... it makes people wonder what you're up to!
Please identify yourself in 1st email w/name/username. Due to recent problem trades, if I haven't traded w/you before, I will probably require you send your end 1st or I'll need LEGIT trade references/feedback. I will be happy to provide the same. IF you plan to hold your end til you've received mine, I will need to know that IMMEDIATELY, BEFORE trade is finalized.
6|1|Kelly, my boys' father is much like this....he makes big promises (yes, he promised one of them a car after we bought them one to share, but it was his OLD truck that is a POS, and he wasnt going to insure it, he expected us to do it!)...now, both boys have a car (we bought and we insure both!), and are getting ready to go to college next fall.....he is talking how he'll help them out by giving them a credit card to use for expenses (food, gas, etc)....yeah, I won't hold my breath. (Considering we are the ones doing the FAFSA, helping them find scholarships to apply for, etc, he won't be helping them with tuition, books, etc....would be his fatherly duty to help them a little in SOME way!)|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|13:07:37|01/24/2012|
" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."
7|1|It's not worth the stomach acid, Kelly! I raised my DD, Amy by myself, married right before I was 18|Mackiesmudder|Mackiesmudder@aol.com|13:41:11|01/24/2012|
and divorced before I was 20. Jeff was court ordered to pay me $27.50 a week no medical, no nothing, back in 1976. I never bad-mouthed either and I sucked it up like you did, paying for anything and everything that came along. When 1 job did not make me enough money, I would work 2. I bought her a car when she was 18, she needed it. Heck, I bought her a car 2 years ago, she needed it. LOL, hers is so much nicer and newer than mine. My point is I do what I can, when I can and because I want to. My drive to work is 2 miles, hers is 40 and she transports the most precious cargo, my grandson, I want them in a safe car. Here's the payoff Kelly, besides not having to worry about her in a crappy car, LOL, I am in her life and her always absent Father is not. She loves ME, she used to feel sorry for him. Now she feels nothing for him, not even sorry. I never wanted that but that is exactly what he gets for making promises just like your ex and never, ever coming thru for her. That hurts you too, the other not coming thru but then it really does get to the point where it doesn't matter. I wish I could remeber exactly what she said to me one time but it was like some people are lucky and get a parent that loves them, some people get 2, I won the lottery, I got you! Isn't she so cool!! So who is the lucky one? It's really me. Your son will see this absolutely crystal clear someday.
Cathie
PS LOL, I forget to tell you about that $27.50 a week child support! I rarely got it and they kept bringing him to court and dropping everything in arrears. 10 years ago, they wanted it off the books, Amy was 27. His sister called me and said jeff had to pay like $1500 and how much would I take as a settlement since she and her other brother had to pay. ROFLMAO!! Are you kidding? So, i got the check for $1500 a few weeks later.
8|1|Believe me, I sympathize. Your ex sounds just like my ex son-in-law!!|missy|lovetotrade@hotmail.com|13:44:54|01/24/2012|
It is just SO maddening! 9|2|My ex is a piece of cake also|Mightymom7492|Mightymom74@att.net|23:42:11|01/24/2012|
He stop seeing the children as soon as my daughter was 1 years old. He moved and he has a whole new life. New house, New wife and 3 daughters that my children no nothing about. My friend is friends with him on facebook and it makes me sick that he loves his daughters so much but he shuts out my two children. =( I feel so bad for my children =( 10|3|Kelly, I am so sorry to hear this and will keep you in my prayers.|cashcoll|cashcoll@yahoo.com|00:53:23|01/26/2012|
Have a Great Day!
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11|4|Thank you so much ladies.....it really helps to be able to vent.....and thank you all for sharing your stories with me....|kellysp6637|frugalk76@aol.com|07:15:23|01/26/2012|
it helps to know that I'm not the first or only woman to deal with a person of this caliber. 12|1|I'm sorry you are going through this|sytipton|sytipton@suddenlink.net|08:02:31|01/26/2012|
but, it's not worth it to have the dad do anything other than what he's already doing. your son shouldn't be made to feel like he's a pawn in your ex's game. it sounds so much like my dad although he did claim my brother on his taxes way back and never told my mom about it. he rarely paid child support and when he did only paid $100/month for 4 kids!
i'd not ask him for anything. maybe your son could get a part time job to help with his car. i'm not sure what his situation is with school, etc so maybe this isn't possible. i just know i wouldn't ask the dad for anything if this is the way he operates. he should want to do things because it's his son not because he's looking out for himself and his bank account. 13|2|thats exactly what im going to do|kellysp6637|frugalk76@aol.com|08:14:09|01/26/2012|
I'm going to insure him.......but the damage has been done. In a way I admit its kindof a relief to have the bum outed.