Ok ds girlfriend isnt allowed up our house because she said she got pregnant here at my house and her mom said i dropped the ball (thats putting it nicely) I dont believe that she got pregnant here anyways ds is wanting to go to her house every weekend and i dont think we should let him go and we have to do all the running and picking him up etc even though they have a car now what do u all think? i told ds i would drop him off at the movies to see her and other places he just wasnt allowed at her house am i being childish?
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1|1|Gwen, I'm confused|whitmarg|robin@whitmannet.com|21:08:11|10/13/2011|
What is the reason for him not going to her house? I kinda understand why her parents don't want her at yours, although I think it's stupid. People can get pregnant wherever there are two people of the opposite sex... But I think I may be missing something. The harder you make it for the kids to see each other, the harder they will work (and succeed) to get together. JMHO 2|1|Gwen|Lorey12|Lorey12@yahoo.com|01:04:17|10/14/2011|
i understand that you are afraid of your son may get his gf pregnant again if both go to her house that you worry about your son.
maybe your son may be "black sheep" like get trouble or grades may go down.
hard to watch your son who is 16 years old now. he can see his gf at school everyday except sat and sun. maybe your son would get upset or mad at you and your husband for not let him to see his gf.
they can find way to see each other without you hawk on him.
i am sorry that you feel childish but you are worrying about your son's future.
:-D
3|2|i understand what you are saying.....if they dont want her at your house|couponsnsamples|cpsnsamples@aol.com|07:00:22|10/14/2011|
why should u be the one doing all the taking and picking up..........
i dont understand why she(the mom) feels u dropped the ball........maybe she dropped it by allowing her to come there!....of course i have a temper...and i would not have
taken her words lightly.... prenancy has already happened once...why take the chance of it happening again......might just be me..but i would sure not be taking him to her house and she would not be coming to mine......hes only 16......hes a kid....seeing her at school would just have to do.....you have a computer,phone..if they want to talk on weekends..then it
would be done online ect......
everyone says .....they will find a way to be together....but....here my under age kid....goes only when i say so...and if i dont want them at a certain place...they wont be there......
of course im different ...i dont care if my teenagers are pissed at me.......they will get over it......they cant stay mad long.....they will need
something from good ole mom soon...lol
4|3|yes this is exactly how i feel!!! |gwens29|gwen41539@bellsouth.net|07:29:08|10/14/2011|
he is rude and disrespectful he even said he hated me etc etc i told him one day when he was old and gray and had kids he would understand lol she swore he wouldnt treat them like im treating him but i think that im doing the best i can and if they see each other at school and ocassional at the movies etc that they will have to make do with that im not letting him go to her house either because for all i know that is where they were having sex!! i unfriended her mom on facebook she was very rude and i am proud of myself i didnt lose my temper or say anything rude she even posted on my sons wall too about me geeze that lady is nuts!
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5|3|My son is 17 and his gf is 16 and it is pretty simple at this point When she comes here her parents do not let her do so without|teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|10:24:39|10/14/2011|
at least my husband or I being here or our son Bill being here They trust Bill as both her pareants work with him If she rides the bus here after school her Mom calls our house to talk to me Same goes if he goes there If she is here and we need to go somehwre they go with us Tho when he gets finally gets to drive his abilaty to get there will be a lil easier but I do not doubt that the rules will not change I know once trust is lost it is hard to get back I am dealing with that with another problem but ya can't keep them under lock n key they need to grow up mature become independent or they will grow up to either hate you or be like ny sisters 3 boys all in their 30's none of them drive and they all live with Mom and Dad still only one of them has a gf and that really is only part time lol 6|1|Bottom line -- if they are going to have sex, the location is not relevant|whitmarg|robin@whitmannet.com|12:21:58|10/14/2011|
If you say going to the movies is okay, well, what happens when you find out they are having sex there? Or at school? You can't be with your kids 24 hours a day... it's impossible. If they were having sex before, they are having sex now. I think you have to stop beating yourself (or letting her mother beat you up) over this. Neither one of them is 100% to blame -- they are both participating. I'm assuming her mother gave her the "talk" and that you or hubby gave DS the "talk". All we really can do as parents is give them the information and the guidance. They have to assemble it in their way.
And your son will not appreciate any of this until he has his own children - you are totally correct about this. I wish my Mom was still around so I could tell her that so many of the things she said to me as a child were true (granted, a lot wasn't... but we won't go there!).
Gwen, you have done your job... and you've done it well. He's nearly an adult now and these are going to be choices and decisions he is going to make with or without you. You have to hope he makes the right ones... or learns from the wrong ones!!
Hope this isn't coming across as harsh -- and believe me, it's almost a "do as I say, not as I do" message, because any of you who know me, know that my 25 year old son is the most important part of my life and when he made the decision to go to school 8000 miles away, I freaked... when he got injured at a peaceful demonstration, I freaked and still do because he will not totally heal from this for years... but I'm working really really hard to accept that he has a calling to help the an occupied nation and I'm so damned proud of him. But it is still tough to see your children do things you would rather they didn't. 7|1|IMHO|20yrrefunder|tradernikki@yahoo.com|14:55:53|10/14/2011|
"She" needs to be on birth control - PERIOD!!!!! Years ago a girl in our neighborhood got pregnant at age 14 - she never even went on a date with the "guy" - they sat on their front porch after dark - she sat on his lap - and she got pregnant!!!!! And her parents were in the living room.
Nikki
http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/366.html 8|2|Birth control|angNC|memawang@nc.rr.com|21:45:53|10/15/2011|
Don't count on the pill,my friend let her daughter take it on her own.
She missed some and was pregnant in no time.
I say give them the depo shot.
Hope life gets better Gwen.
9|3|more on this lol|gwens29|gwen41539@bellsouth.net|16:34:32|10/16/2011|
Her mom and I both are on the same page they dont need to be alone to have the chance to have sex again I know that this is silly because kids will find ways around this if they really want to be together but they arent going to do it in our homes..what the real problem is her mom is blaming me for her getting pregnant in the first place!! they say she got pregnant here..I really honestly dont think it happened here and i dont care where it happened the point is they are saying im irresponsible and cant be trusted to watch them...this pisses me off because i think i more than did my job i was as kind as i could be to her when she miscarried and then when her appendix was removed the other day she made the comment that i didnt care because it wasnt my daughter that went through all of this stuff...they have brain washed my son into hating me and blaming me too he thinks they are right and i am wrong etc etc..i will not go back to that womans house after she treated me the way she did i told ds he could meet her for a movie or dinner etc im just not going to take him to her house im so mad please send prayers i have been praying but so far i have no answers :(
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10|4|Be very careful with birth control|Mightymom7492|Mightymom74@att.net|20:25:27|10/16/2011|
I got super sick being on birth control. 11|1|Maybe|zombietoo|littlejadensmom@juno.com|01:16:55|10/17/2011|
. 12|1|Bottom Line is- he's 16 years old - he's still YOUR CHILD living under YOUR roof - YOU have the God-given authority/responsibility to decide whether or not he's mature enough/allowed to date - if you don't think he's ready to take on the weighty responsibility of handling a relationship in preparation for marriage and a family, then YOU have the RESPONSIBILITY to say NO and stick with that decision. YOU'RE the PARENT with the authority to enforce YOUR rules and what's best for your children - not your 16 year old CHILD!|emerald9|brandaseider@yahoo.com|12:37:54|10/17/2011|
* 13|2|I have to agree with whitmarg|lisamk|bromwelll@aol.com|13:41:08|10/17/2011|
If they were doing it before they are doing it now. I had a friend with super strict parents as a teen. She would do it with her BF anywhere. Gas station bathroom, in the garage at her house, other friends houses, at school, etc. She would tell her mom we were walking down to Dairy Queen for ice cream and she would meet him there and do it in the bushes behind the building. I always thought it was just dumb luck she didn't get pregnant, but they got married and found out years later he has very low sperm count.
But you should not put up with people blaming it all on you. And you should not do all the running around either. 14|2|I absolutely agree with you Emerald :) |QponFreebieQueen|QponFreebieQueen@gmail.com|13:46:18|10/17/2011|
My son is 16 and has a girlfriend and i know for a fact he is NOT having sex.
Kids are sneaky and will find there way if they really want to but he knows
what happens and has fear because my mom and dad got married at 16 cause my mom got
pregnant. He fears this so bad and actually has sense enough to wait. Besides
I will take away everything he has if i ever find out. He has a problem with telling
me everything, nothing gross mind you, but he has too much guilt and would tell
me if he did attempt to or truly did anything. I like that, guilt, LOL
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15|3|Sorry, but 16 is16... hormones run like water... |whitmarg|robin@whitmannet.com|15:22:06|10/17/2011|
You may THINK you know your kid isn't. Hell, my mother KNEW I wasn't... She swore to my father I wasn't. Well, she was wrong. I have three friends who over the last 3 years SWORE their kids weren't.... and guess what... they were, they are, and they will continue to. They are not only kids, they are not only teens, but they are humans. And that's what humans do. There is no threat of punishment that will get between your kid and that ultimate prize. None. I don't care what you think you can take away or withhold or do... First of all, every kid may be afraid of that pregnancy thing (which by the way, is not the worst thing that can happen to a sexually active person), but because they are kids, they have this immunity illusion (the it-will-never-happen-to-me syndrome). Or we did this which prevents it; or she's on the pill (oh but forgot it for a week) or he used this, but oops, it came off or has a hole or whatever... They are not emotionally mature enough to think it through. But they ARE physically mature enough to react to the thrill. And they will do it anytime and anyplace... I'm sure everyone knows of someone who got caught in some place you'd never think someone would have sex in. It's nothing new... remember Eve, the snake and the apple thing???? 16|4|Gwen-- I feel really|salsafan|salsafan@sbcglobal.net|01:23:35|10/18/2011|
sorry for that girl's mom because of her need to blame you. Blaming you is the easiest way for her to deal with it--- it doesn't require that she or her dtr assume an responsibility. Her dtr was not raped and obviously wanted to engage in the intimacy....But the mom does not want to face or consider that aspect at all....I would be angry with the mom too but my "better self" (which rarely makes an appearance) tells me it is better to be understanding and to see why she is doing this-- she feels helpless and confused about how to "manage" her dtr... so it is easier to just blame you....She is implying that the kids need a guard or chaperone at all times....