I'm really upset over this and need some advice. My son who is 6 years old (first grade) was written up today for pushing another student in PE. The teacher caught me after to school to tell me and I told her I would find out what happened.
He gets out of school at 3:20 and at 4:30 after talking to him I found out what happened. Trying to find out what happened seems to take a while because he tells me he can't remember what happened so I have to walk him step by step through it. I'll have to ask where were you, where was he, what did he do, you do, etc.
He told me that they were on the playground having break time and the whistle blew for them to get in line. While in line the boy in front of him said stupid and my son told him that was a bad word. The boy said stupid again and my son again said it was a bad word. My son said the boy said stupid again and then he didn't say anything because he didn't know what else to say. They then go to PE.
While in PE they are lined up to go to the park and the boy that had said stupid was in line behind him. The boy cut in line and got in front of my son, turned around and pinched his privates. My son said he pushed him and the boy got back in line and did it again so my son again pushed him. The boy does it again and my son pushes and wouldn't you know he gets caught pushing and gets a folder write up. I don't want my son pushing other children but I also want him to take up for himself and if someone is touching him inappropriately and he feels he needs to push the boy away then I'm ok with it.
So, I call the principal to tell her and as I'm explaining how I had to walk him through step by step what happened she says, you mean he's in first grade and can't articulate what happened? I told her no, I had to go step by step with him and ask him. She said well that concerns me. Then she asked me who the boy was. I said I asked my son and he doesn't know his name but it's a boy that sits at his table in class. She says you mean he sits at the same table with him for 6 hours and can't tell you his name? I said no he can't. She said well, that concerns me. I definitely want to address what happened to him as we need to get that taken care of. She is supposed to have the PE teacher call me tomorrow so she can tell me what happened and then I am supposed to call her back on Friday.
I'm just so confused right now. This is my laid back son that would rather give hugs and kisses and tell you he loves you than hit you. And, the comments from the principal make it seem as if she is more worried that he can't recall without help what happened than she is over this boy grabbing my son.
I don't know whether I should cry or pull someone's hair out. 1|1|I WOULD keep on with this situation and don't let all this just slide by the other boy needs to know HANDS OFF RULES and if he don't learn them then he needs to be punished in some way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!|lydzkydz|lydzmcss@yahoo.com|23:03:55|09/21/2011|
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THANKS!! 2|2|Kevin (my 9 year old) says the parents need to be notified as well !!!!!!!!!!!!!!|lydzkydz|lydzmcss@yahoo.com|23:04:50|09/21/2011|
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THANKS!! 3|1|Don't listen to that stupid principal! |hudge4|hudge95@yahoo.com|02:29:46|09/22/2011|
I mean really! 1st grade is awfully young still. I bet he couldn't tell you it without prompting. When something upsetting happened, he's got that on his mind, not understanding what/why it happened, then he's worried about being in trouble. Then add to that just the plain immaturity-what happened when, in what order.
That principal has some nerve to tell you that! Grrrr! Now I'm mad right along with you!
Give that darling boy an extra squeeze from me. I really feel for him.
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4|1|I would tell the principal that "IT CONCERNS ME" that you don't seem to care about my son being touch inapproiately. And that you do!!! and will |flapper|joyphalen@yahoo.com|06:58:53|09/22/2011|
take this further. Good for your son that he knows that shouldn't have to happen. And when and if you find out the boy's parents that you will definately notify them of the situation if she doesn't do something about this and to make sure that the write-up comes off his record so it doesn't indicate any bullying on his part. And make sure it's off. You do have the right to see his records. She is something else.
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Garnette member 5|2|I'm with flapper|Sara_s_Mom|IClipCoupons@gmail.com|08:13:14|09/22/2011|
Is she taking your child's assault seriously? Why the crotch grab 3x? Is that happening at that child's home.
BTW, I have a 1st grader and guess what? He sounds just like your son. Boys aren't like girls flowing with all the details. Some kids are just that way and it doesn't concern me. It just means that when I want info, I have to interrogate. For all you know, your son would rather have been playing the Wii instead of talking to you about this. I don't know could mean I don't want to tell you. It doesn't mean he doesn't know. The principal doesn't KNOW your child like you do so she can take her judgment and check it at the door.
Can you go down and talk to her because "That concerns me" sounds a lot like "I don't believe you" or that she thinks you are framing the event in your words, not his. And my son is less than forthcoming with information if he feels like he's going to get into trouble. Even first graders are smart enough to figure out that what they say can be held against them in the court of mom!
It's probably too late now, but did he have any marks?
As for who he is sitting with... I had the same issue last year in Kindergarten. He couldn't tell me who he sat with and we talked to the teacher about it. She told us who he was sitting with at his table and informed us if there were any changes. 6|3|Having boys, I'll tell you why he says "I dont know" when asked what happened and who the boy is, etc.....it's because boys have a fear of retaliation if adults get involved....they think differently than girls (who tend to 'tattle' and get an adult involved for every little thing)...not a sexist remark, just my experience as a mom of boys and my memories of my own childhood run-ins.....|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|08:31:11|09/22/2011|
Posted on Sep-22-11 at 08:31 AM (Eastern) by 98.213.152.6
And if that principal would reflect back on her own education to prepare her to work in primary schooling, she might realize that.....she is insinuated your son is lying, I'll speak it like it is.
My boys to this day will complain about a teacher or a coach, and when my DH or I suggest to meet with them to see how things can be improved, they still say as they did when they were 5,8, 10, 13 yrs old...."NO! you'll just make it worse!"
Joy
" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."
7|4|That's why I'm upset over this|sytipton|sytipton@suddenlink.net|09:28:39|09/22/2011|
She made it seem like if he couldn't remember step by step what happened than I must've put ideas in his head. And, her tone that "you mean he sits with this boy for 6 hours a day a can't tell you his name?"
I did check for marks to see if there were any but didn't see anything. It happened during his PE time which is 1:30 in the afternoon and this was around 4:30 so if there were any marks they had already faded.
I'm waiting for the PE coach to call me know and I'm really curious as to what she has to say. The principal wants me to call her tomorrow since she is out today.
I have two sons and yes, they don't ever really want to talk about what happens. My 13 year old never wants me to go to school and talk to the teachers about what other students may be saying or doing so unless it something serious I usually let him handle it unless I see its really bothering him. 11|3|Yes, and the principal just reinforced the idea that someone in authority.......|hudge4|hudge95@yahoo.com|16:56:55|09/22/2011|
won't believe you when you tell the truth.
Gosh, this is just wrong on many levels.
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8|1|I would tell her Great when we are finished handling my concerns as a Mom about how my son was touched then we'll talk about your concerns I |teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|10:09:29|09/22/2011|
believe there are strict laws about what happened to your son even at his age and the age of the other boy 9|2|there is such a person called a superintendent that can be talked to if the principal wants to be a pain and i have would have the teacher move your son away from this boy she can change students around |lydzkydz|lydzmcss@yahoo.com|11:11:13|09/22/2011|
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THANKS!! 10|1|i don't|joseph|parkerjoe3@yahoo.com|12:48:05|09/22/2011|
know who's more of a jerk the principal or the boy. yes they should not sit near each other and the teacher should keep an eye on the kid wth the problem of bullying others. 12|2|I talked to the PE Coach yesterday.|sytipton|sytipton@suddenlink.net|14:59:55|09/23/2011|
She gave me three different incidents that happened.
1. A girl said that he hit her. She didn't see it happen but when she asked him he said yes. When I asked him about it he said they were running in PE and he and the girl were side by side running. He said he put his hand out in front of her because he didn't want her to get in front of him. I know exactly what he is talking about because he has done this to me when we are playing. It's almost as if you are in the front seat of a car and you have to stop suddenly and you put your hand out.
2. The incident I'm upset over where the boy pinched him. She also said she didn't see this one. She said my son is the one who told her the boy pushed him. The boy said my son pushed first and when she asked him he said yes. I said of course he probably pushed first, the boy pinched his "boys".
3. She did see this one. My son was poking another student while in line, she asked him to stop, he didn't. She wrote him up. I asked him about this one and he couldn't tell me about it.
So, I called the principal this morning at 9:30. The secretary answered and said she's on the phone do you want to hold. Of course I do. She puts me on hold and comes back 15 seconds later and says ok hold on then immediately says oh, she just went into a meeting can i take a message. I left my info. It's now 2pm and I just called to find out if she was still in her meeting. I was told uh no she had to leave I'm sorry.
Obviously, she is very concerned about this situation of a student touching another inappropriately. No return phone call or anything.
I'm not saying my son is perfect and he may have been poking the kid in front of him to play. But, he is not going to hit, slap, punch or kick someone without being provoked. He's just not that kind of kid. He is very competitive which is why I think he was holding his hand out in front of the girl. 13|3|I would email her|angNC|memawang@nc.rr.com|15:51:56|09/23/2011|
and mention her not returning the call
and send a copy of it to the school board.
They get scared of that
14|4|If you email her, you have documentation since then it's not like she can't say you didn't tell her something. mention your call and that you were disappointed she had to leave before she could return your call. |Sara_s_Mom|IClipCoupons@gmail.com|18:01:09|09/23/2011|
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15|5|my mom a retired teacher suggests ( i read your post to her on the phone ) for you to skip the principal since she don't have the TIME to go ahead and call the superintendent and get that person involved |lydzkydz|lydzmcss@yahoo.com|23:32:10|09/23/2011|
then maybe the principal won't take it soo lightly
plz follow thru with this
there was no need for what that other boy did to your son
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