Im so mad and disappointed i just had a baby less than 2 months ago and now my son tells me his girlfriend is 2 months pregnant!! this was his first girlfriend too i prepared him for sex i told him how to prevent a baby i even gave him condoms...they said they used condoms and the condoms didnt break so how did they get pregnant? heck i dont see how they got preganant i watched them super close she was up our house 3xs this summer and he went to her house 3xs im shocked they seem happy and proud that they are going to be parents maybe they planned it i dont know ...anyone else have a teenage son that is a father? how does child support work? my son is so stupid he thinks that if he is together with her (not married mind you) that he wont have to pay..he is begging me to get a part time job but it think he should try to do better in school and prepare for college he is a junior in high school now he can work this coming summer full time after the baby arrives and we only have one car and live 22 miles from town by the time he worked 3hrs in the evenings it wouldnt pay for gas ...also im always wrong his girlfriend is always right...i cant get him to see that he has made a horrible mistake..i never thought this would be my child i raised him better than that he isnt stupid he is very intelligent but right now he is making bad choices..anyone have any advice on how to handle this ? im going crazy here.
http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/27.html
1|1|omg gwen..that is sad...|shellysmsmo|jpksms@sbcglobal.net|10:02:16|08/15/2011|
I know I wouldn't be prepared...that is soooo young...I just hope and pray that all will be ok.
kids having babies...it happens a lot these days!! It's going to be hard..and it's going
to hopefully make both of them grow up really fast...babies are a big responsibility.
38|2|I have no advice....just offering support from a friend. Every parents nightmare.....I am sorry and pray for the best for all concerned.|Barb09|Barb0969@AOL.com|20:25:55|08/17/2011|
I looked and looked and found no coupons for troll food......SO, I don't feed the trolls!! 3|1|Sorry to hear this Gwen. I know you had posted recently, fearing, this. |dlpavitt|dlpavitt@att.net|10:56:08|08/15/2011|
If you are a HONEST trader, there is nothing to fear in having a feedback link. If you do not have one, please set one up, BEFORE contacting me for a trade. If you insist on not having a feedback link, please do not contact me to trade. Feedback links protect all of us, on RS. Thanks for understanding. Donna 4|1|Gwen -- I know this response will NOT be popular|whitmarg|robin@whitmannet.com|12:17:11|08/15/2011|
But they are children. Perhaps the situation can/should be terminated. They are too young to take care of themselves, much less an innocent baby. It will ruin any chance that either of them has of getting the proper education to get ahead.
Your son is very naive to think he has no responsibility in this game. He has a LOT at stake here. Provided, of course, that this baby is his. Just saying...
I've seen too many kids ruin their lives by bringing a baby into the world too early in life. And it's not good for the baby either.
Feel free to flame me -- I can take it. 5|2|Thanking God I did not terminate........|Quietwaters|Quietwaters39@hotmail.com|12:34:29|08/15/2011|
my teenage pregnancy. My oldest daughter is one of the biggest joys in my life, she is my overachiever,she paid most of her own way through college, by 24 she owned her own home, at the same time getting her masters degree, she has went on to work on her national board in teaching and is a full time school teacher, and a wonderful mom to 3 and a baby on the way. All through her teens and young adult life she spent her summers going on missions trips to work with kids, and people in troubled areas.
She is also one of my very best friends.
You never know who you are throwing away, when you through away a life.
Edited to say, I have also been married to my babies father for almost 30 years.
************
giving the baby up for adoption is a better way to go then abortion 8|2|Its another option, for sure. |whitmarg|robin@whitmannet.com|13:12:58|08/15/2011|
sad situation for all... 7|1|Sorry you are going through this....|Quietwaters|Quietwaters39@hotmail.com|12:51:15|08/15/2011|
I know how hard it can be for everyone involved. Have you had a talk with the girls parents? Keeping the communication lines open is the best for everyone.
************
It sounds like they are staying together, excellent for the baby. Also, your son wants to work and support his child, very commendable for his age! They will need lots of help to get started, hopefully her parents will be supportive as well.
If I were the Mom here, I would be asking about marriage plans and doing all I could to get their young family started. Also, thanking God for the great gift of life.
Best to you and your family, don't worry, all is meant to be.
10|2|There's always adopting the child out too. I can't believe that wasn't one of the first suggestions....|Sara_s_Mom|IClipCoupons@gmail.com|14:46:57|08/15/2011|
Many women regret getting abortions. So many loving families would love to adopt.
Gwen, just do what you can to be supportive. I can tell you that a friend hubby had in college had a child when he was younger and still had to pay support even though he was a completely broke college student. I understand you wanting him to do better in school, but perhaps he should get a part-time job, even if it doesn't pay much. Her parents will be the main source of support for her and this child and a package or two of diapers goes a long way. They're the ones who are going to pay the co-pays for this birth. The ones who are going to be helping her get what she needs (crib, clothes, etc.) Her parents are going to want to see him accept responsibility and that will mean doing what he can financially to support his child.
A family member was in this situation 20 years ago... 16 and pregnant. It was an ugly situation all around... but I can tell you this. My parents expected him to do what he could to support my nephew. He worked part-time at a KFC. He bought diapers, formula, whatever he could afford to do. It's just not fair to leave the support of a child to the baby's mother's parents when he can help. It was a rough year until they graduated, let me tell you. 11|3|Babies are always a blessing!!!|Julie|juliejulie1975@yahoo.com|16:42:37|08/15/2011|
They are always here for a reason!! I absolutely believe this. I have twin nephews that are now 14 years old. Their parents were 17 when they got pregnant and just past 18 when born. I said they had ruined their lives when I found out. That could not be the farthest from the truth. They are an absolute blessing. I cannot imagine any of our lives if they were not hear!
I promise one day you will look back and see it this way. 14|3|I suggested that above|teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|17:03:54|08/15/2011|
>Posted on Aug-15-11 at 02:46 PM (Eastern)
>by 72.82.107.10Many women regret getting abortions.
> So many loving families would
>love to adopt.
>Gwen, just do what you can to
>be supportive. I can tell
>you that a friend hubby had
>in college had a child when
>he was younger and still had
>to pay support even though he
>was a completely broke college student.
> I understand you wanting him
>to do better in school, but
>perhaps he should get a part-time
>job, even if it doesn't pay
>much. Her parents will be
>the main source of support for
>her and this child and a
>package or two of diapers goes
>a long way. They're
>the ones who are going to
>pay the co-pays for this birth.
> The ones who are going
>to be helping her get what
>she needs (crib, clothes, etc.)
>Her parents are going to want
>to see him accept responsibility and
>that will mean doing what he
>can financially to support his child.
>
>A family member was in this situation
>20 years ago... 16 and pregnant.
> It was an ugly situation
>all around... but I can tell
>you this. My parents expected
>him to do what he could
>to support my nephew. He
>worked part-time at a KFC. He
>bought diapers, formula, whatever he could
>afford to do. It's just not
>fair to leave the support of
>a child to the baby's mother's
>parents when he can help. It
>was a rough year until they
>graduated, let me tell you.
12|1|Try not to cut your ties with him or they baby's mother|Julie|juliejulie1975@yahoo.com|16:52:08|08/15/2011|
Even if they don't stay together. One day you will wish you had not said some of the things you might be temped to say now.
Your previous posts gave hints that you worried this would happen. Please try to be supportive!
13|1|The baby is NOT the one who committed a wrong - please do not punish the baby by putting him or her to death!!|emerald9|brandaseider@yahoo.com|16:56:15|08/15/2011|
**My Definition of a GOOD TRADER**:
A trader who has no bad feedback, and who is known for sending their end promptly, and has an all-around good reputation on THIS board!
Please do not email me for a trade if ALL OF THE ABOVE conditions do not apply to you...
During school hours, for an immediate response, please email me at bseider@comancheisd.net...
Please leave feedback if we've had a good trade!!
http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/342.html
emerald9
brandaseider@yahoo.com
2009 Coupon Savings as of March 31, 2009: $13,596.22!!!
Thank you all for helping us save money!!
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." Maya Angelou 15|1|I'm so sorry.....that's so young......|kellysp6637|frugalk76@aol.com|17:57:07|08/15/2011|
wishing the very best for the young parents.....
I'm sure this is incredibly difficult for you...... 16|1|Gwen, have you spoken with her parents yet? To see what they are thinking. IF she has told them already, that is? She may not have.|dlpavitt|dlpavitt@att.net|18:06:25|08/15/2011|
If you are a HONEST trader, there is nothing to fear in having a feedback link. If you do not have one, please set one up, BEFORE contacting me for a trade. If you insist on not having a feedback link, please do not contact me to trade. Feedback links protect all of us, on RS. Thanks for understanding. Donna 17|2|I was a very young mother..(M)|kthy26|kthy26@yahoo.com|18:29:08|08/15/2011|
I was pregnant the end of my junior year of high school, I was 17 when I got pregnant. It was not planned. In my heart I knew I was pregnant but in my mind I didnt want to be pregnant so I took myself to the health department and got a pregnancy test and it all hit me real hard when the test came back that I was pregnant before I left from there i was sent to talk to an advisor that worked there, her first question to me was "what are you going to do"? my response, "I am going to have a baby" she told me there were other options and I knew there was but I had made a grown up choice of having sex, so I made the grown up choice of having and raising this child. My parents health insurance would not cover the pregnancy so I went through the health department for prenatal care. After finding out I was pregnant, I had to break the news to my parents and to my boyfriend, my biggest fear was that my parents would not love me anymore and would be ashamed of me, they were disappointed in me but they supported my decision of keeping the baby and raising him. my boyfriend broke the news to his family and they were the same as mine, disappointed but supportive.
It was not an easy time in our lives but both of our families supported us. I now have a wonderful 16 yr old straight A student, very caring, loving and I could just go on and on about our son, I am happily married to his father.
I know its hard for you to see your son go through this but my advice is to love him, support him and the girlfriend and try to get to know the girls parents.
My husband and I both worked during the time of me being pregnant and I went to school up until I had my son and returned back to school quickly after having him, that was what my parents wanted the most was for me to finish school and I did. It wasnt easy and hasnt always been easy but by alot of love and support of both families involved we have made a successful life for our son.
My husband went to a trade school to further his career, so he only went to school half a day and worked the other half, and stayed with our son while I worked at night and went to school during the day. our moms took turns keeping the baby and we always had to pay them
its a rough rocky road to walk but it can be done with lots of love and support
23|3|Your story of success as a young mother gave me chills|Julie|juliejulie1975@yahoo.com|22:14:34|08/15/2011|
:) 18|1|(M)--->|gwens29|gwen41539@bellsouth.net|19:54:05|08/15/2011|
I am supportive and her parents are supportive too but neither family can contribute anything fincialy we are in the same dire straits ..her family hasnt even got a running car and our car wont last much longer... adoption is out and ABORTION is way way out not even giving it a thought the kids want the baby they think that everything will be easy i feel so sorry for them my son is so not ready he is very immature for his age... the baby is due march 23rd 2012
http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/27.html
20|2|That's a difficult situation....|kdrink|kdrink34@yahoo.com|20:27:00|08/15/2011|
for anyone. Have you talked to the girl's parents to see what their feelings are? If it were me one question I would ask myself is (before anything else).......How old is the girl? This may not be popular, but parents need to protect their kids. Although your son is 16 and in most states 16 is considered a minor. However, if your state considers age 16 an adult (and don't be surprised as some states do(age of consent)) and the girl is under age 16, I'd be contacting an attorney first and then her parents. This isn't to scare you, but kids who are "age of consent" years old (girls and boys alike) who have sexual relations with a minor (say age 15) are prosecuted all the time, sentenced and then required to register as a sex offender. Even if the consent was mutual. It is how the state law is written. It is true, happens more often than you think. So, that's the first thing that I would figure out.
As far as the baby, be supportive. It won't be easy for all involved, whatever the choice is. As far as child support goes, it depends on the law in your state. What state do you live in? 19|1|Keep the faith that things will work out for all of you. :)|maraj|maraj64@hotmail.com|20:19:44|08/15/2011|
Sometimes we are initially upset & shocked when something unexpected like this happens. We don't always realize til later on there's a reason & a blessing involved. The best thing you can do for your son & his gf is to be supportive & to be there for them when they need you, now & after the little baby comes. That little surprise package is likely going to bring you all an abundance of joy & happiness you didn't expect. :)
Your son & his gf are just going to be learning about the bigger responsibilities sooner rather than later, & they might surprise you.
Sending out prayers for all of you. But I think you'll all be fine. :)
Smile... it makes people wonder what you're up to!
Please identify yourself in 1st email w/name/username. Due to recent problem trades, if I haven't traded w/you before, I will probably require you send your end 1st or I'll need LEGIT trade references/feedback. I will be happy to provide the same. IF you plan to hold your end til you've received mine, I will need to know that IMMEDIATELY, BEFORE trade is finalized.
21|2|she needs to get on medicaid and WIC that will help out with doc visits and the baby being born hit up yardsales for baby items praying all works out for them and you too !!!|lydzkydz|lydzmcss@yahoo.com|20:55:53|08/15/2011|
please include your user name on refundsweepers.
i appreciate all the trades made in the past.
THANKS!! 24|3|re: post #21: absolutely - get her on Medicaid and Wic...even very young parents in poverty situations can raise happy healthy babies if they want to - if they're willing to take on the responsibility - it won't be easy, but if they want to keep their baby and raise it they sure can. No - they won't be able to afford NEW stuff/luxury items all the time, but contrary to the media, babies don't need too terribly much to have a healthy happy life, and they sure don't have to be decked out in the latest fashions, (unless of course they're purchased from thrift stores and such, lol...) and as we couponers know, soap and water are relatively inexpensive; and if he can get a job, which he most likely can find SOMETHING honest and legal to support them while they still live with their respective parents, and will not squander his money on unnecessary/unhealthy habits/addictions, they will have the money needed to purchase the necessities... think positively - if they put their minds to it, and really want to, and have the emotional support from both families, they can do it! After all - this is your precious little grandchild we're talking about!|emerald9|brandaseider@yahoo.com|22:18:42|08/15/2011|
**My Definition of a GOOD TRADER**:
A trader who has no bad feedback, and who is known for sending their end promptly, and has an all-around good reputation on THIS board!
Please do not email me for a trade if ALL OF THE ABOVE conditions do not apply to you...
During school hours, for an immediate response, please email me at bseider@comancheisd.net...
Please leave feedback if we've had a good trade!!
http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/342.html
emerald9
brandaseider@yahoo.com
2009 Coupon Savings as of March 31, 2009: $13,596.22!!!
Thank you all for helping us save money!!
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." Maya Angelou 22|1|i don't|joseph|parkerjoe3@yahoo.com|22:02:12|08/15/2011|
know what i would do if either of my sons at age 16 were going to be fathers their 20 something now but thinking back so immature he's a kid so i wouldn't expect much also my daughters friend is having trouble getting pregant so adoption seems like a good idea 25|2|RE: Child Support in KY|kdrink|kdrink34@yahoo.com|00:09:24|08/16/2011|
There is a child support hotline # of 1-800-248-1163. The issue is his (your son) age. Meaning he is 16 and perhaps still considered a minor, in which the duty may (not saying it will) fall to you until he is 18. I would assume the duty will fall to him, but some states differ. I have looked into the age of consent and both parties must be 16 years old or older for consentual sex. The law in KY is very clear on that!
I have briefly and I mean real brief, read the child support statutes for KY. It look as if the rule is 5% garnishment of income for child support, not including medical insurance which according to the statutes both the custodial and non-custodial parent can be asked to provide. This will change as he gets older and gets a better paying job which can be 15% increase plus medical or a portion thereof.
If you are looking into Medicaid please be advised that there is also a statute in the KY laws that the states the non custodial parent (whether paternity has been established or not) will be asked to provide support from the state. Meaning, the girlfriend does not have to ask for it, the state will. Usually it comes from the Medicaid application where they ask for parent information. This is flagged in the computer and sent to Child Enforcement. Whatever she may ask for is not enforceable unless it is granted by court order. What the state asks for is enforceable. You must make sure that all payments go to the child support division in order for it to count to satisfy his obligation.
I really do wish them both the best and hope that it works out for everyone. However, sometimes things don't and it can cause hard feelings and things can get messy,even when at first all parties had the best intentions. So it is important for the protection of your son that he follow the rule of the law as that may one day be his saving grace because the proof will be there at the state and it won't be a he said/she said scenerio. I hardly doubt a 16 year old would be as astute as his parent. Give support, but exercise caution and by all means, save everything. :)
26|1|Gwen.......|cldt67|cindy123@zoominternet.net|06:30:39|08/16/2011|
A few months back my 17 yr old daughter dropped the bomb on us that she thought she might be pregnant. I literally cried for days. We also had the talk. I thought she was prepared, ect. But it still happened. She had been dating the boy for over a year. His Mother was livid!!! She called us... demanded an abortion, ect. It caused for ALOT of extra stress. My advice would be to keep all lines of communication open with everyone. Let the news sink in. As I type this, my 3 week old Grandson is sleeping in a bouncer chair. I can not describe the awe, the amazement, the joy this little guy has brought into our lives.
My daughter is a Senior this year. She also works part time. She will be graduating HS and still plans on attending college. Her boyfriend has a good job. I dont know what their future holds but for right now they are doing a fairly good job. Our situation sounds slightly different from yours, as they are a little bit older. But just know that with love and support, they CAN make this work. Good luck! Cindy
27|1|Gwen, althougth the news isn't what you wanted to hear, make the best of it and enjoy your grandchild to be. Since you recently had a baby, you can save your baby stuff for you new grandchild to be :) Life presents us with curveballs and we can strike out or go down swinging and making the best of it :)|Ranalt|ainebailey@gmail.com|12:47:41|08/16/2011|
I hope after your initial shock/anger/etc, you can find happiness in this.
I hope your son and his girlfriend find the strength and support that they are going to need during this time.
The girlfriend needs to sign up for Medicaid and WIC so this baby can start out healthy from the start.
Best of luck to you all.
I will keep you all in my prayers.
Life is like a cup of tea,
It's all in how you make it.
Lisa
28|1|I'm embarassed (m)|gwens29|gwen41539@bellsouth.net|07:32:40|08/17/2011|
i feel so stupid and embarassed the kids have been telling everyone at school and i dont think its something to be proud of ...i told my son this and his reply was he wasnt going to be ashamed of his child...i feel ashamed that this happened i dont know how to tell people especially people from church..i know i seem silly to you all but i have no one else to talk to about this my dh is acting like it never happened...he wont talk to me about it he says it is what it is and we cant change it all we can do is offer advice and if ds doesnt listen then he is only hurting hiself but to me ds is still my baby and i feel like i care more than dh lol or at least i worry more about him :( thank you all for the advice and support im so glad i have you all ((HUGGS))
gwen
http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/27.html
29|2|First Gwen, mothers just worry more about there children naturally. It is normal formen to have there head in the clouds....LOL!! Second of all, do not be embarassed, and you are under no obligation to annouce that they are pregnant at church. If they find out they find out. But(more)|dlpavitt|dlpavitt@att.net|08:10:00|08/17/2011|
My older cousin got preganant, before she got married(she was considered the BRIGHTEST out of all of us)and my AUnt was also embarrassed. What she did was make a baby quilt, and worked on it everywhere she went, and when people asked about who it it was for, she would say as proud as could be Kathleen. And go right back to working on her quilt. I always thought that was a great way around it.
Hope you become more comfortable. There is nothing wrong with be proud, and excited to have a grand baby. SO try not feel embarassed. Donna
If you are a HONEST trader, there is nothing to fear in having a feedback link. If you do not have one, please set one up, BEFORE contacting me for a trade. If you insist on not having a feedback link, please do not contact me to trade. Feedback links protect all of us, on RS. Thanks for understanding. Donna
32|3|Make a baby quilt...I love this....|Quietwaters|Quietwaters39@hotmail.com|08:19:49|08/17/2011|
probably some of the best advice I have heard for setting a new grandparent into the right frame of mind.
************
that your baby made the choice to grow up fast and is no longer your baby, expect him to move forward into the adult world at this point. We are all embarrassed when our kids make the wrong choices, but they do it any way, we have to just keep leading them in the right direction, and know sometimes they will take our advice and sometimes they will not. To me, the mistake is having sex when you are not married, having a baby is always a joyful event and not something to be ashamed of, I separate the two. Now they just need you to get behind them and help them figure out what is the best thing to do for the life they have created.
************
and i know it's extremely hard...but don't beat yourself up over it..
It is what it is...happy or not...You just have to deal with what life
has thrown your way. Yes, your son made a stupid decision..or had a stupid
accident whatever or however you want to look at it.. But you can't be
upset and tear yourself up over it!!
35|2|Gwen, please don't be embarrassed. We can't make our children's choices for them but we can stand besides and be there for them. I LOVE the Quilt idea. Stand strong, all will be ok.|Ranalt|ainebailey@gmail.com|10:57:14|08/17/2011|
Life is like a cup of tea,
It's all in how you make it.
Lisa
39|2|please don't be embarassed|cinda68|lacinda68@gmail.com|01:14:41|08/18/2011|
Please don't worry about what other people think, especially at church. If you do get grief, remind them of this:
Romans 3:12
They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.
None of us is good, only God is good so please don't be troubled by what others think. 33|1|I would say just hold off on telling people and talking about it....|Julie|juliejulie1975@yahoo.com|09:37:15|08/17/2011|
This is something new. You will just need to get used to the idea. Give yourself time. Just don't give it sooo much of your time and energy. Everything is better when you have time to let it all soak in and get used to it. 34|2|Let people hear it from your son or other people. You will really be surprised how supportive they are of you...|Julie|juliejulie1975@yahoo.com|09:43:00|08/17/2011|
Just say "This was not what we had planned for them but we will be supportive and help them in any way we can" You really don't need to say any more. They know you are dissapointed. They don't need any more details! 36|3|I agree with Julie....|hudge4|hudge95@yahoo.com|16:09:21|08/17/2011|
Posted on Aug-17-11 at 04:09 PM (Eastern) by 76.228.24.25
You don't need to give out details to everyone. I'm sure everyone realizes that it's not an ideal situation and can imagine the feelings of all the family involved. Set a good example of unconditional love. The birth of a baby is a joyous event. Focus on the fact that the kids want to do what's right-take care of it. If they are happy about it and telling their friends, well, great. You want them to be ok about it. That way they will be more likely to be responsible. Also hubby is right- it is what it is. Just be supportive as this new stage of their life begins.
~~Feedback link~~
http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/1021.html
~~Feedback link~~
http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/1021.html
37|1|Gwen, if you have time... there's always lots of blog contests that feature baby prizes. In the past few months, I've won a few baby items (including a stroller) that I gave to my nephew... and I only entered because I wanted to win something nice for him. |Sara_s_Mom|IClipCoupons@gmail.com|17:18:03|08/17/2011|
So please enter contests and hopefully you can win some items that will help your son when the baby is born. 40|2|Babies are a gift from god....and he has a reason for everything|shelly0418|michelle0418@centurytel.net|09:16:13|08/18/2011|
don't be shamed. I am sure you raised a wonderful son. Things happen
in life, sometimes out of your control...but god always has a reason
for them. Even thou your son is young I am sure he can be a good father
with your help.
Michelle 41|1|Is it his? This has happened in my family several times.|aliciamk|ohiogirl279@yahoo.com|22:26:23|08/18/2011|
Our family has had several teenage prenancies in the last 30 plus years and more often than not the father accused of being the father ends up not being the father.I don't care what the woman says if I was a guy I would demand a dna test.This has also happened in several marriages that I know of where the husband found out the child his wife just had is not his.This happens all the time.Like I said if I was a man I would demand a dna test period.It also saves time,money and heartache to find out as soon as possible for everyone involved in one case in our family it was twins and when the dad found out they were not his he left. 42|1|On the flip side of this comment...|Julie|juliejulie1975@yahoo.com|09:53:45|08/19/2011|
I know a lot of families where the man in the household is not the father. The children do not know and the guy there is the only dad they know. You would not know he was not the biological dad. For most of these kids if they did not have this dad in their lives they would not have any dad and mom would be alone in raising them.
Just being a father does not make you a DAD!! 43|2|Julie, no one could agree more with this statement than I....my DH has raised my twin boys since birth and they will be 18 in November....but he made an informed choice to marry me and raise the boys as their dad, and he was a grown man making that decision (age 30).....a 16 yr old boy has the right to know if he is indeed responsible for the child or not. I say that with respect to your view point...|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|10:56:10|08/19/2011|
" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."
44|1|Seems to me dna testing is tacky, rude and extreme|Kristy|mi3zons1@yahoo.com|11:14:16|08/19/2011|
I guess it depends on the situation certainly but if he's certain he's the daddy then I would go with that. If you go through DNA testing first it's costly and someone has to pay for it. Second what a really bad way to get in bad with the soon to be other grandparents of your new grandchild. Not to mention what does that say about the girlfriend. Just me but seems it would start a small war. If Gwen's son is confident in his relationship with this girlfriend I don't see why that would be necessary.
"Women should not have children after 35. Thirty-five children are enough." - anonymous (Only 27 to GO!)
"You're so open minded that your brain leaked out." - Steve Taylor 45|2|I agree with Kristy on this. It would be one thing, if it was a one night stand, and he truly was not sure. But from what Gwen has typed, they have been with each other every minute of the summer. So I am thinking, he is sure.|dlpavitt|dlpavitt@att.net|11:43:43|08/19/2011|
If you are a HONEST trader, there is nothing to fear in having a feedback link. If you do not have one, please set one up, BEFORE contacting me for a trade. If you insist on not having a feedback link, please do not contact me to trade. Feedback links protect all of us, on RS. Thanks for understanding. Donna 46|3|more info|gwens29|gwen41539@bellsouth.net|12:22:28|08/19/2011|
they have only seenn each other 7 times this whole summer so whats about 1x a week But to ask for a dna test will be rude i know if my daughter was in her shoes id surely be upset over a DNA test i am going to pray about this im not sure what to do and we have a while to decide the baby is due march 23rd i do want thi thank everyone for the support i do love you all you are truly my family
http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/27.html
47|2|A 16 yr old boy becoming a father is not just a legal or financial responsibility.....there is a profound emotional investment involved, and IF it should turn out after the baby is born, or even years later, that it is told to him that he is indeed NOT the father, can you imagine the emotional impact?? So, find out in the beginning, let the truth be known, and if he chooses to stay with the girlfriend (for now, or forever), then he is making an INFORMED choice.....that would be my concern if it were one of my boys in this situation.|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|12:34:48|08/19/2011|
Posted on Aug-19-11 at 12:34 PM (Eastern) by 98.213.152.6
ETA: If he chooses to stay with her even if he is not the biological father is what I meant to write....
" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."
48|3|A friend of ours...|sunriver|sunriver@gmail.com|12:52:03|08/19/2011|
He is in his 40's now, but back in his senior year of High School found himself in the same situation. She was pregnant, he was sure it was his and so a little boy was born. They were not able to work things out and stay together. Our friend paid child support for 18 years only to discover about mid way through that the boy was not his. He was devastated. He paid anyway although he could have fought it through the courts.
DNA testing may hurt someone's feelings, but even as the mother of daughters I would understand if another parent wanted it.
Getting pregnant at 16 is messy. It shows a lack of responsibility and although I have great respect for anyone who can pull themselves up by their bootstraps and make it all work out, we all know of or can imagine how hard it all can be.
I am not sure about KY, but I believe child support in OR will help someone establish paternity through DNA testing. When they fill out paperwork for state medical/food stamps, etc., that info will be on the paperwork. If it isn't and I was the boys family, I would follow up with the child support division. This isn't even about money, but as Joy said just the emotional investment alone is enough to merit this as a smart move. If the girls parents are hurt by it, they will get over it! And you will have proof/answers. In fact you can tell them you want the testing done so that your son WILL be held accountable when it proves he is the father. It's good for the mom to be as well in that respect! It protects the baby!
I feel for you Gwen! I really do! This has to be tearing you up inside, but somehow it will work out and what is supposed to happen will happen. 49|1|one DNA test is cheaper than 18yrs worth of child support.|aliciamk|ohiogirl279@yahoo.com|16:18:39|08/19/2011|
You can get a DNA test done on a baby w/ o the mothers knowledge after the baby is born too if you are worried about hurt feelings.we r in the military and guys here do it all the time.DNA test are cheaper than a lawyer too when it comes to visitation rights. 50|2|I know someone who thought the baby was his...|Sara_s_Mom|IClipCoupons@gmail.com|09:25:04|08/20/2011|
Then was told by a doctor since he had mumps, he was likely sterile, so it wasn't. She insisted it was his... but he had doubts because of being told he couldn't.
Fast forward a good 10 years and the mom wanted to remarry, but she had to get the dad to sign off on an adoption. She went through like 4 guys before she went back to the guy who thought he couldn't have kids as a last resort. Guess what? Bingo. It was his. Since the other 4 guys weren't the dad, she had to eat the DNA testing. Since it was his, he had to pay... because when he wouldn't sign off on the kid, she filed for child support. She found other ways to get what she wanted, but in the end, all she did was hurt the child and deny him his father.
I realize money is tight and feelings can get hurt, but if there's any doubt, it's better to know. 51|3|It's almost mandatory anymore to have DNA if you go to set child support|mo6g02|crazylady47952@yahoo.com|10:14:18|08/20/2011|
The state requests it here, you cannot just say it's yours, they ask you to take the test for your safety & the childs. So that might be the case in most states now. Because to set up child support especially if they are not together it has to be done by court system & paid through court system. So if there is any doubt go through court system & have it ordered then you have nothing to worry about, you didn't do it.
Donna
http://www.freewebs.com/mo6g02/
52|1|Just saw this post|tammytwo|tammdesigns@yahoo.com|07:47:21|10/14/2011|
First, this doesn't have to be the end of the world for your son or his girlfriend. You say he is a smart kid, so trust him to make SOME good decisions. I was a smart kid too but I was pregnant at the age of 16 by my 16 year old boyfriend. The first thing my mother asked me when she found out is "Are you sure you don't want to get an abortion?" To this day I thank God I didn't even consider that as an option. My boyfriend (now my husband) and I stepped up and made the most of the situation. I'm not saying it was easy. In fact, some days it was downright unbearable. But we made it and our son celebrated his 21st birthday last month. He is working a job making more than $20 an hour and I am happy to say he did learn from watching my husband and I struggle. He has no desire to become a father anytime soon and he does what it takes to keep it from happening. Together we now have three amazing kids, whom we love and adore greatly.
Just remember when you look into the eyes of that newborn grandchild you will know it is what GOD had planned. Maybe it wasn't the right time but sometimes our lives don't always go as we foresaw.
Check out my content on Triond. https://
www.triond.com/users/tamdesigns Please rate it
and leave a comment. TIA