I have one brother whos name is on my dads savings account...dad cant get any without him...he cant get it without my dad.........
now since they realize nothing will be left to any of us.........they are done dealing with it......and he wants his name off the account...........only way that can
happen is for some one to be guardian.........was at first told to do power of attorney........so..i told my brother if no one wants to do it..someone has too.....so
i will(power of attorney) then while i was on vacation...in florida......they call me saying they talked to a lawyer and he suggest guardian......and proceeds to say
i told him to put your name on it.......and everyone of us kids has to go sign at lawyers......
then says......oh..by the way u have to get a moneyorder for the court fees(out of my pocket)and take to lawyer...........
well everyone signed in july..with the exception of one other brother(he never went to visit my dad at home..except twice a yr.....christmas and Thanksgiving)
but yet he wont go sign...........lawyer says......only other way is to summons everyone to court and get this done......(its not like my dad is rich)
not like we are talking millions of $.....way less than $10,000 by the time we do a prepaid funeral...........
so today i stop at my brothers (like a fool) and say......just what did xxxx tell u about those papers at the lawyer.....? He said they are to put
you in control of daddys money!!LOL LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO i said.....just what money do u think im gonna be in control of? once we prepay the funeral.......the rest will go to pay the nursing home......then i can sign him up on medicade and turn his check over to nursing home instead of it coming to me.............so its not like there will
be any money in my control......
he sits there like a knot on a log ..in stupid mode......I said.....well i gotta go......i just wanted to tell u.......and btw..if we dont get this
taken care of......so the nursing home can be paid.....then we are all gonna be summons to court.....which is ignorant ...when u could just go sign...and let me
pay the funeral and hand rest over to nursing home and we could all be done with this........."well ill see what i can do........i said...well if we dont pay the nursing home they could ask us to remove him........now...whos gonna take him?? you?
Then he proceeds to say........there would be alot more money......if (xxx) my other bro..had not got mom to take money out for him...(saying she done that when she was sick and didnt know better) which did not happen............i said....my god that was almost 20 yrs ago..and it was mom and dad who done that......its not like my brother stole money from them.........they did it FOR him........and the way i figure it........THAT WAS THEIR BUSINESS........NOT OURS
all this coming from a man......who has had nothing to do with my dad...except for holidays............
like i said.......all this new found concern........is a little late.......but yet he runs to nursing home everyday now.........
so stupid! 1|1|Sorry you are going through this Why don't you just have your name put on the account it|teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|17:15:41|08/13/2011|
doesn't have to be where both you and your Dad have to sign to get money out then do the POA that is how we did it with MOm then you can take acre of everything My dear sisters will be all ticked off when my MOm pass's and there is no money to go around she did what she wanted to with it when we had to apply for medicaid cashed in her life insurance and prepaid for her funeral which I am sure they will moan about too but oh well 2|2|Sad how it always comes down to the money with some family members....I told my mom to spend it all, that way there is nothing for anyone to get jealous or greedy over.|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|17:43:29|08/13/2011|
" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."
3|3|That's exactly what I've always told my mom & dad......|maraj|maraj64@hotmail.com|19:37:37|08/13/2011|
Spend it all! It's their money that they busted their butts for, not us, so should spend & enjoy it while they can on what they want.
You wouldn't believe the stink my sisters put up when my dad bought a new lawn mower, tiller & snow blower after they bought a new couch, recliner & kitchen table/chairs. It was w/money they had left over on the sale of their other house. I was so happy for them & thought it was wonderful they were finally able to have some new things. For as long as I could remember, my parents NEVER had new anything, couldn't afford it so always had 2nd hand stuff or the fixer-uppers. My sisters went ballistic saying they didn't need this/that. And here's my dad trying to explain the purchases when I told him to STOP cuz he sure as heck didn't have to explain a dang thing to anyone. I felt so bad that he was made to feel like he had to answer to someone for HIS own biz. I told him & my mom to spend it all, blow it, burn it, do whatever but it was NOT our money or anyone else's to be concerned about.
The thing my sisters couldn't wrap their green, greedy brains around was that my dad wanted to buy these things new for my mom, so she would have them & wouldn't have to worry about getting something fixed or replaced BECAUSE he knew he wouldn't be around for much longer due to his bad health. Even while his health was bad, he worried about my mom, not himself! To this day, it still rips at my heart thinking of how selfless & giving both my parents have been yet my siblings turned out to be so greedy & selfish. :( I don't get it. (shaking head).
W/out my parents here, why would I care about some furniture, etc.? That's just STUFF that has no feeling or love, & can be replaced. My parents are irreplaceable & priceless to me!
Smile... it makes people wonder what you're up to!
Please identify yourself in 1st email w/name/username. Due to recent problem trades, if I haven't traded w/you before, I will probably require you send your end 1st or I'll need LEGIT trade references/feedback. I will be happy to provide the same. IF you plan to hold your end til you've received mine, I will need to know that IMMEDIATELY, BEFORE trade is finalized.
4|4|my mom always bought what she wanted in later yrs......but she got a settlement from getting hurt at work|couponsnsamples|cpsnsamples@aol.com|19:52:07|08/13/2011|
so there was SOME money.......i wish she would have traveled and lived it up........or donated it all the ......human society..lol
or anything........so there would have been NOTHING for them to worry about ... 5|1|When my Dad passed my oldest sister was mad that my Mom did not split the onet she got 4 ways between her and us 3 girls and ever since|teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|20:20:59|08/13/2011|
then is when my sister started to treat my Mom like crap If she starts the slightest bit when my Mom pass's she won't know what hit her lol lol 6|1|You do realize that when you sign as Guardian it is A LOT different than Power of Atty......|kdrink|kdrink34@yahoo.com|21:24:36|08/13/2011|
Posted on Aug-13-11 at 09:24 PM (Eastern) by 24.72.197.2
i'm sure the attorney told you that if you become the guardian you are the ultimate authority. This is very different than power of attorney. The nursing home cannot and will not do a thing without your consent. When it is time for Medicaid, you will be responsible for detailing his finances and all other information, as well as social security. Speaking of which, you may want to contact bacause you may not simply be able to "turn his check over to the nursing home." YOu after all are the guardian. The check would belong to you in care of your dad EX: XXXX XXXXXXX guardian for XXXXX XXXXXXXX, therefore it may be difficult for the check to be sent to the nursing home as the representative payee. Also, please set aside 2,000.00 for your dad in cash, he is allowed to have up to that by law. And also remember (and your brothers too) if your dad's name is on the home of that of your mother, Medicaid has what is known as an "Estate Recapture." The home will be fine as long as your mom is alive, but upon her death, Medicaid can and will, seize the property, to pay for the cost of the nursing home care. Hence, "recapture." It's too late to take his name off now as there is a 5 year "look back" period. Wish y'll the best.
PS. POA (Power of Attorney) stops at death. So, a bank will not accept it. If they do, it is not legal for them to do so.
I suppose that your Dad isn't able to go to the back and add your name to the account? 7|2|I have POA for my Mom and the nursing home she is in calls me everytime something needs to be done like med change they also call meif she has something happen to her like a bruise|teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|23:14:45|08/13/2011|
and such Until your Dad gets medicaid if by becoming guarian the checks come to you you will cash them ad send the payment to the home My MOms ssi and her pension still gets direct deposited in her account ( my name is on that too) and then I recieve the bill and pay them out of her account They allow her to pay a insurance policy ( health)that she has and she gets $40 a month personal When applying for medicaid we had to show what she had in funds and provide a kelly bluebook on her car ( my husbands name is on the title and less than 5 years too) We were allowed to keep the car They can claim the house after death to satisfy the difference between what the home would normally charge and what yourDad would pay based on what he recieves in ssi and other money that comes to him 8|3|my mom passed away in 2001....as far as the house.........i dont care if they do take it.......|couponsnsamples|cpsnsamples@aol.com|09:19:50|08/14/2011|
it isnt worth alot........and id rather them take it.......than see someone who
made an appearance at dads...twice a yr ........to get anything from it...........
as for his money in his account........by the time i do a prepaid funeral.........and pay nursing home...for the time he has been there..........
it will all be gone except the portion he gets to keep............so it wont be hard to account for all of it..........
and now they are allowed...... $2000 AND a months check..so whatever the amount they draw.....added to the $2000
he dont have any cars.......he sold them when my mom passed
10|4|Well, it sounds like you got it figured out. I wish you the best of luck and I agree......|kdrink|kdrink34@yahoo.com|21:56:31|08/14/2011|
as long as the care for your dad is good, let them take it, all of it......better to lose it and have your dad taken care of in a proper manner. It's too bad that people get all weird about money and inheritances, as if they're entitled to it. I'm glad that your dad has a caring child. Please make sure you understand the role of Guardian....and if you are uncomfortable in taking on that role ask the nursing home for "Guardianship Council" information (if there is one available in your state). Good Luck 9|3|Yes, you are correct, there is an exclusion to the Medicaid rules re: vehicles. You are allowed one vehicle without it counting toward an asset|kdrink|kdrink34@yahoo.com|21:51:02|08/14/2011|
pre-paid burial is exempt also. However, whole life insurance policies will count as an asset. You are POA, so therefore the Soc Sec rules will vary re: checks. You are doing it right though, by sending the nursing home a check each month, that way you can track your mom's money. Guardianship is the ultimate authority therefore,it is a lot of responsibility and some people just don't understand how much it effort must go into it. 11|1|I went to court to become my dads guardian....|Quietwaters|Quietwaters39@hotmail.com|08:52:58|08/15/2011|
Was the smartest thing for me to do, but stupid that one of my brothers who also did not visit my dad would not sign the papers without going to court. With being the guardian, the staff knows who they need to talk to, someone else can not come along and tell them to do something in another way. Until becoming the guardian there were all kinds of issues that came up. My dads checks went right to the home, then I paid the difference until his estate was spent down.
My mom and I have worked on getting everything lined up ahead of time, so these same issues do not arrise for me again with my syblings. Best not to wait until a parent is ill to get things signed and worked out, but I know how hard it is to make those decisions about who will be in charge.
Praying things work out for you and your family without too much damage being done. I had a long 10 year battle watching out for my dad and his best interest, but I would do it again in a heart beat, there was a lot of healing from years past, that came out of taking care of my dads needs.
************
my youngest........and my oldest.....we have one that is deceased...(was my best buddy) and then we have.....2 others.....one..who had his dealings into the account.....with talking dad into putting his name on it..(to keep it safe)LOL after they seen...there would be nothing left...they dont want any part of it
and cant wait to hand it over to me to deal with.........and then there leaves this one who wont sign.......hasnt really been around since my mom passed in 2001...except for holidays.....and some of those he didnt come...........and really didnt stop there too much when my mom was alive.......
u cant talk to him.......he always has this..smartazz attitude....even when he is just talkin.....people he has associated with him for yrs.....has quit hunting with him ...ect..cause......his dog is better than theirs.......or he has remarks..about whatever.......
worst thing is.........my dads house is on the main strip...right thru town..if u go to down.....you are gonna drive past his house........
so they drive past every day..going to work.......going to gas station..going to store..........coming from work.....ect ,ect.......dad sat outside alot......
so they had to see him.........but yet they drive by...never stop........
but now......its like he thinks hes doing something smart by not signing...like it makes him in control of us....or what we(rest of brothers and i)
want done.........
all its done.......is make me more cold hearted.........and frankly........I CANT STAND HIM....i might feel diff later on...but right now.......
i just dont know 13|3|Shirley is your Dad capable of signing papers and understanding what he signs? If so skip the guardian thing and do the POA|teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|11:27:27|08/15/2011|
Posted on Aug-15-11 at 11:27 AM (Eastern) by 74.178.149.167
The one my Mom signed gives me control of all affairs medical finacial the works That way you don't need the family to sign Oh adding that it can all be done at the home as someone there is a notory
14|4|so sad..over money...|shellysmsmo|jpksms@sbcglobal.net|11:37:11|08/15/2011|
I'm really sorry to hear all that you have to go thru..
money sure brings out all evil..
I hope your dad isn't seeing all of this???
15|5|no.......none of us visit at same time....but the funny thing is........|couponsnsamples|cpsnsamples@aol.com|11:45:20|08/15/2011|
there is no money to argue over.......thats what i dont understand...they are just being stupid..lol
we tried the poa ..but they said they didnt think he knew at the time what was going on..........
16|6|:(|teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|11:58:28|08/15/2011|
>Posted on Aug-15-11 at 11:45 AM (Eastern)
>by 64.12.116.68there is no money to
>argue over.......thats what i dont understand...they
>are just being stupid..lol
> we tried the poa ..but they
>said they didnt think he knew
>at the time what was going
>on..........