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0|0|My heart is breaking.|kellysp6637|frugalk76@aol.com|19:32:51|07/14/2011|Last edited on Jul-14-11 at 07:33 PM (Eastern) by 64.12.116.68Posted on Jul-14-11 at 07:32 PM (Eastern) by 64.12.116.68
And I feel like the WORST mother ever.
Lately, all my son and I do is argue. He's 16 almost 17....and honestly, a good kid. I love him more than life itself.
But lately, everything is attitude, rudeness and pure ungratefulness...........today, I came home from work, all the doors were unlocked in the house, the alarm wasn't set and he was nowhere to be found.....(left to go to a friends house), and he hadn't even bothered to do the ONE thing I asked him to do before I had left for work (put the FOUR cups that were in the sink in the dishwasher).
I know I've spoiled him......but really???? I was a single teen mom, put my life on hold, didn't date for years so I could focus on just the two of us and put myself through college so I could provide the best life possible for him. When I finally did marry again........it was NINE years after my divorce......I've ALWAYS put him first and this is the thanks I get?
I've just told his father I'm signing custody over to him......I simply can't do this anymore. My heart is breaking and I feel like crawling into a hole and dying.
1|1|I'm sorry! Teens can be so hard! It's worse than the terrible 2's...|sunriver|sunriver@gmail.com|19:37:16|07/14/2011|
Posted on Jul-14-11 at 07:37 PM (Eastern) by 66.241.77.58Back then at least we were bigger than they were!
Hoping you can find peace and your son finds his way back! In a few years he will realize what he did and probably be sorry! That doesn't help at all right now though!
2|2|Thank you so much......I can't believe this is happening....I'm a mess....|kellysp6637|frugalk76@aol.com|19:40:12|07/14/2011|
Posted on Jul-14-11 at 07:40 PM (Eastern) by 64.12.116.68I can't stop crying, I feel like vomiting and I'm so angry that I can't fix this...no matter how hard I try.
3|1|Kelly, I'm so sorry.....if it makes you feel any better, my boys have their days too, more often than not....they are 17 also. You know your family best, I'm sure you didnt make the decision hastily.....big hugs, one teenagers' momma to another.|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|19:42:29|07/14/2011|
Posted on Jul-14-11 at 07:42 PM (Eastern) by 98.213.152.114" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."
4|1|Could've been me in your shoes 4 yrs. ago....|maraj|maraj64@hotmail.com|19:53:23|07/14/2011|
Last edited on Jul-14-11 at 08:04 PM (Eastern) by 207.190.75.151My son is now 20 but the teen yrs. were tough from about 15 til ??? I'm sure spoiling him had something to do w/it as he had my undivided attention all his life.
It's not you. :) Their hormones play a big role in their behavior & attitude, not to mention they're caught between still wanting to be mama's protected baby & being cool & mature w/their friends, trying their wings out. It's scary for them cuz they know graduation is fast approaching & they'll soon be of legal age & responsible for themselves.
And dang if it ain't hard on us!
My son is still learning but has been out on his own for the past year. Now THAT scares the beejeebies out of me, but so far so good.
Hang in there! :)
ETA: Strange cuz just when you think they're old enough to start fending for themselves a little bit more, they actually need just as much firm guidance, assurance & supervision as when they were little. And LOTS of love & patience. ;)
Smile... it makes people wonder what you're up to!
Please identify yourself in 1st email w/name/username. Due to recent problem trades, if I haven't traded w/you before, I will probably require you send your end 1st or I'll need LEGIT trade references/feedback. I will be happy to provide the same. IF you plan to hold your end til you've received mine, I will need to know that IMMEDIATELY, BEFORE trade is finalized.
If you're happy w/our trade, please leave feedback for me at:
http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/1133.html
I'll gladly do the same for you upon request.:)
5|2|Kelly...sending hugs out to you|BusterBrown|srfreezerqueen@hotmail.com|20:37:18|07/14/2011|
Posted on Jul-14-11 at 08:37 PM (Eastern) by 174.57.65.249from all i have heard...what the others are saying is so true...the hormones are horrible at this age...he will appreciate you someday...hopefully sooner than later...
6|3|hope things get better for you guys|angNC|memawang@nc.rr.com|20:43:48|07/14/2011|
Posted on Jul-14-11 at 08:43 PM (Eastern) by 76.182.35.202keep an eye out for who he is hanging out with. Not any easier w/ girls either.
Be Strong.
8|4|I'm so sorry Kelly and I feel for you|slimnlady|slimnlady@aol.com|20:55:22|07/14/2011|
Posted on Jul-14-11 at 08:55 PM (Eastern) by 173.58.165.105Hi Kelly,
I know we haven't talked for a while but feel free to e-mail me anytime. I have an 11 almost 12 year old boy who acts 17 and I know how you feel about the attitude. He is just so different now that he approaching puberty. He's just not that sweet little boy anymore and as hard as it is I have to accept it and it's not always that easy. I'm sure this was a tough decision for you so please don't be hard on yourself. Take care and if you need to talk I'm here. Carol 
7|1|So sorry, you are going through all of this. |dlpavitt|dlpavitt@att.net|20:51:21|07/14/2011|
Posted on Jul-14-11 at 08:51 PM (Eastern) by 76.250.235.202If you are a HONEST trader, there is nothing to fear in having a feedback link. If you do not have one, please set one up, BEFORE contacting me for a trade. If you insist on not having a feedback link, please do not contact me to trade. Feedback links protect all of us, on RS. Thanks for understanding. Donna
9|1|Boys are hard on moms........|Quietwaters|Quietwaters39@hotmail.com|22:25:09|07/14/2011|
Posted on Jul-14-11 at 10:25 PM (Eastern) by 71.239.225.250because moms are soft. There came a time where my husband did all the dealing with the boys. They say, moms make little boys, dads make men. Now I know sometimes mom has to be both mom and dad, and that is a real hard place to be in, and I think then they need a mentor that is willing to be tuff.
For me it is talk less, pray more, mine are in their early twenties and taking care of themselves, but it is so hard to worry about the mistakes they are making. Oh yeah, and they start to like you more once they start paying their own way. So just hold on.
*~~*He Who The Lord Sets Free, Is Free Indeed*~~*
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10|1|Thanks ladies......more inside|kellysp6637|frugalk76@aol.com|12:14:41|07/15/2011|Posted on Jul-15-11 at 12:14 PM (Eastern) by 64.12.116.68tried to go in to work this morning....made it four hours (vomiting in between)....finally had to come home, emotionally I'm a mess.
I talked to my ex....we will be having a meeting tomorrow at 1. I also talked to my son and explained very clearly the ramifications of this. I'm so incredibly hurt.
I have told my son he will be welcome at my house for 1 Sunday a month and that he is welcome to pick up anything he would like in his room. The rest will be sold at a yard sale. I explained, that once we finalize this through the courts......his father will take on the roles I had previously had: all school related things, all medical appointments, dentist stuff, etc. That visitation will be scheduled for 1 Sunday per month and that unlike what his father allows him to do, when he finally is grounded or in trouble at his new residence...he will NOT be allowed to come over here to escape his punishment (as he does to me). He will ONLY be allowed the once a month.
My heart is literally breaking. But he needs to understand the full picture.
Oh, I also told him, that all money I have in a savings account marked specifically for his car will be used for child support.
I feel backed into a corner....and my ex certainly hasn't helped this matter by allowing him to go over there everytime he doesn't like the rules here. I feel this is the only way to preserve myself, my sanity and dignity as a parent. I don't deserve to be walked all over and disrespected....no matter how much I love him.
11|2|Kelly..I know it is hard, but you are right in taking the tough love route. Your son endangered the family by leaving everything unlocked. Not doing his chores was typical rebellion.....but |suezz|clearys@comcast.net|12:57:31|07/15/2011|
Posted on Jul-15-11 at 12:57 PM (Eastern) by 71.192.110.4leaving the house open was a serious transgression. Don't get yourself sick over it ( although it is hard not to.) You have a plan in place and the ability to put it into action. You have to remember that your daughter, husband---and all he has worked hard for--- and you could have been impacted by his actions,
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Please include your RS screen name when you contact me in response to a posting. Thanks
12|2|Someday, he'll realize you made this decision out of love, not anger.....I've been thinking of you today, I just wanted you to know that.|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|15:48:20|07/15/2011|
Posted on Jul-15-11 at 03:48 PM (Eastern) by 98.213.152.114" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."
13|1|Big Hugs Kelly--I know this is very hard for you but in the end it may be some|bcmunns|bcmunns@bellsouth.net|08:03:47|07/16/2011|
Posted on Jul-16-11 at 08:03 AM (Eastern) by 98.69.151.7
wonderful results-
14|2|Thanks Everyone.....Found some Disturbing stuff on his computer|kellysp6637|frugalk76@aol.com|08:12:30|07/16/2011|
Posted on Jul-16-11 at 08:12 AM (Eastern) by 64.12.116.68last night...I'm furious with him right now......but glad that I've found them to show his father EXACTLY the attitude I've been dealing with....apparently, my son thinks he's some kind of big bad thug....
I can't believe my son is behaving in this manner....but I WILL put a stop to it. ALL computers, IPODS, internet access phones WILL be taken away from him. AND.......furthermore, I WILL be seeking out a very good counselor to meet with him and I to try to get to the bottom of this behavior and attitude.
Oiy.......
15|3|Oh Kelly, it just keeps piling up on you, huh? :( I think counselling is an excellent idea, and if you can get your ex on board, that would be even better.....I'll be praying for your son and your family....|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|08:53:59|07/16/2011|
Posted on Jul-16-11 at 08:53 AM (Eastern) by 98.213.152.114" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."
16|1|I know your pain (m)|gwens29|gwen41539@bellsouth.net|13:29:01|07/16/2011|
Posted on Jul-16-11 at 01:29 PM (Eastern) by 65.5.248.197My whole life revolves around my kids lately my oldest has been very disrepectful and mean he wont do any chores with me begging etc i love him but u would think that if he loved me he would do something for me without me begging...it doesnt help that he has started dating for the first time this summer he is like a stranger to me ...i wish he was 4 again lol hang in there you arent alone
http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/27.html
17|1|So, it's done...he's now living with his dad....|kellysp6637|frugalk76@aol.com|16:48:37|07/16/2011|
Last edited on Jul-16-11 at 05:22 PM (Eastern) by 96.252.82.173Posted on Jul-16-11 at 04:48 PM (Eastern) by 205.188.116.68
this was the hardest thing I've ever done.......he doesn't even seem to care.....I know this is wrong to say...but right now, I hate my own son for tearing my family apart.....the family, I've worked so hard to create and provide for....and he's thrown it all away, like none of it means a thing.
I'm sad, disappointed and angry. I don't think I'll ever get over this pain.
He asked for a hug before I left and I just couldn't bring myself to hug him. I love him, but I don't think it will ever be the same between us again.
My heart is officially broken.
18|2|Kelly praying you will make it thru this it was a tough decision on your part but you did the right thing and pray also he will straighten out |lydzkydz|lydzmcss@yahoo.com|16:58:15|07/16/2011|
Posted on Jul-16-11 at 04:58 PM (Eastern) by 76.7.130.177
((((((((((((((HUGGSSSSSSSSSSS))))))))))))))))
please include your user name on refundsweepers.
i appreciate all the trades made in the past.
THANKS!!
19|1|i think it |joseph|parkerjoe3@yahoo.com|21:00:37|07/16/2011|
Posted on Jul-16-11 at 09:00 PM (Eastern) by 67.161.53.10is great he asked for a hug means he really does care may not mean much now but i have a 25yr old son who has grown up so much in thwe last few years at 17 i thought he would end up in jail some of his friends did and he is no longer friends with them. time is what you have hope it works out
20|1|I'm so sorry for all that you are going through...|anothershopper2|ejw14@hotmail.com|22:48:50|07/16/2011|
Posted on Jul-16-11 at 10:48 PM (Eastern) by 208.120.88.224I'm not a mom of teenagers yet but I really feel for you and how much heart break it must be for you. Your story brought tears to my eyes since I could see how much you love him. I hope that he will grow up soon and get past this stage. I think that a lot of kids don't fully appreciate their parents and how hard they love and work for them until they grow up. I hope he at least gets past this stage of leaving things unlock and such. I hope you feel better and that one day, things can be fully reconciled between you two.
21|2|i done the very same thing with my daughter......she would|couponsnsamples|cpsnsamples@aol.com|08:59:26|07/17/2011|
Posted on Jul-17-11 at 08:59 AM (Eastern) by 205.188.116.68go to her dads...stay a few days.....come back being a total a-- to everyone in the house
when things got bad here....she would run to her dads..then play them against me....she thought they lived the good life, cause when she was over there..all she seen was them running out to eat all the time,going to the malls,maxing out the credit cards.trading cars every few months.ect..then she would come home and be a total beast.......finally one
day i had all i could stand........i called her dad up, said ive had all i can stand...ive done your job for yrs now...now instead of playing her best bud...its time to play daddy....he came got her...next day he called and said she dont want to come home...i said come home? are you f-----
kidding me? I DONT WANT HER TO COME HOME!!!SHE IS YOUR S NOW......IM GONNA BE THE ONE WHO CALLS WHEN THEY FEEL LIKE IT..AND I HUNG UP....
took a few days.maybe 3...she finally called...talked normal...later i loaded all her stuff up and took it over there.. she ended up living with him from the time she was 16 till she was around 20....
but she will tell u now.the good life wasnt what it appeared to be...she done all the housework that they didnt want to do....she kept the step moms kid...ect, fancy cars got repo..
now that she is grown......she will tell anyone...Im the only one she has to depend on when times are tough...im the only one she can talk too...ect..far cry from being the one she hated...
she grew up..her dad never did...he has now divorced for the 3rd time...and still tries to act like a kid...living his good life....except now...its a poor good life....lol
HANG IN THERE.YOUR SON WILL GROW UP.SEE HOW HE HAS ACTED....AND HE WILL BE A DIFF KID...JUST GIVE IT A BIT OF TIME...
22|3|Thank you so much for sharing......|kellysp6637|frugalk76@aol.com|12:34:54|07/17/2011|
Posted on Jul-17-11 at 12:34 PM (Eastern) by 205.188.116.68it's helpful to know that others have been through this......
My hugs to all of you for helping me through this very difficult time.