Miss Liberty's Price
by Art Hoppe
I ran into Miss Liberty in the park. She was as lovely as ever, despite the rents in her gossamer gown and the strands of curling hair that escaped her somewhat disheveled garland of flowers.
But though I greeted her as warmly as I could, she turned away.
"You don't love me anymore," she said, her chin in the air.
"Oh, I do, I do" I protested. "It's just that..." I decided to be frank. "Well, those who have embraced you haven't been doing as well lately as those who have shunned you."
She gave me a frosty look. "Oh?" she said. "And who are they?"
"Look at Indonesia, China and Singapore," I said for starters. "You're not welcome in any of them. Yet Indonesia's described as 'the next Asian giant.' China has the fastest-growing economy in the world. And Singapore's the envy of all underdeveloped nations."
"I'm delighted the first two can afford comfortable cells for their dissidents," she said with a sniff. "And as for the citizens of Singapore, they can't walk and chew gum at the same time." (*Singapore law prohibits gum-chewing in public)
"So chewing gum's illegal there," I said huffily. "Big deal. What about the totalitarian states of the Middle East? No one's richer than the Saudis."
Miss Liberty smiled. "I never promised you an oil well," she said.
"Maybe not," I said, "but see what you've done to those who've plighted you their troth. Russia's a mess, India's a basket case, the East Germans yearn for the good old days of Communism, and you're tearing the Iraqis apart. Everywhere you go, you muddle things."
She examined her fingernails. "I don't come with instructions," she said.
I was growing angry. "You really don't care about the hungry people abroad," I said. "And here at home you get in the way when we try to deal with problems like the homeless, welfare mothers, drug dealers and other undesirables."
She delicately raised her eyebrows. "You don't want me," she said with a measure of contempt. "You want my old enemy, that hulking thug in jackboots, Captain Order."
"Well, he does offer safety, security and probably prosperity," I said defensively. "Surely, having a little more of him around wouldn't hurt."
"A little of him goes a long way--and quite quickly, too," she said. "You might say he grow on you."
"So what if he does?" I said defiantly. "I sometimes wonder if it wouldn't be wise to chuck this rat race--to no longer have to worry or fret or struggle or..."
"Or think," she said irritably. "I suppose thinking is a chore." She drew herself up and turned to leave.
I felt panicky. "Don't go," I said.
"I don't much care for those who can't stand on their own two feet," she said, tossing her head.
I fell to my knees. "Please, I can't live without you," I said desperately. "It's just that the price you ask..."
She looked back over her shoulder, gave a little flounce to her gown and favored me with her beguiling smile. "I never did come cheap," she said.