As you know my son was injured a couple weeks ago by a tear gas canister which resulted in him losing part of his scalp. Well, through facebook, I read yesterday that he's suffering from post concussion syndrome. He's been very short and snotty with me and won't answer any questions about his injury now. I got to the point last week where I wrote to one of his roommates and she responded by starting out "While I appreciate your concern..." What? Wait a minute. YOU appreciate MY concern? You've known him for 3 months. I've known him for more than his lifetime. She assured me he's seeing a doctor 3x a week and a specialist 1x a week. So, I waited a little longer. Then I saw this diagnosis on facebook. Imagine how crushed I was to read about it on such a public forum and not know about it. I was talking to a woman at work and was updating her and she said her daughter had that after a serious car accident. She also had bleeding in her brain which, obviously, is more serious (I'm assuming... he could have that too but not tell me). She told me that this can last for 6 months and she told me (without my saying it) that his moods would be unbearable and uncontrollable for many months. When I told her how he's responding to me she said yep, that's it. So today I did write to him and said that I read in facebook that he's not returning to school for the end of the semester because his language skills are affected. (I'm sick... just sick) So when I asked if he could do his work from home (except, of course, the two language courses which are graded based on oral presentations) he gave me this snappy "stop with the doomsday scenarios - trust me to handle this myself."
Hmmm... this is so hard. I know people have far more serious issues in life than this. He's so far from home and won't come home; and doesn't want me to go there. He said he's seeing a neurosurgeon on Sunday. WHAT? OMG. What can this mean? But I can't ask. So I don't sleep, I eat crappy, I can cry at the drop of a pin. I don't drink or do anything for that matter, so I have no release.
Except of course, my RS family. Thanks for listening. 1|1|Praying that you will have peace about this..I know its hard...we love our children so much|blessedx5|I_am_blessedx5@yahoo.com|21:57:36|05/27/2011|
I'm glad he is functional and I'm also praying he will be diligent in getting care. Wish his roommate was a little more sensitive. 2|1|Robin....more inside|RebekkaVA|queen_vulture@msn.com|22:25:19|05/27/2011|
My heart breaks for you girlie, I can't imagine having my child (even if he is an adult) being so far away and going through some serious medical issues. My son has had 3 brain surgeries and even though I was there, I was a nervous wreck, so I can't imagine what you're going though with him so many miles from home. I'm sorry that he is acting like this, but maybe it's due to his injury, I think his roommate could've been more sensitive to the issue. I will be praying for all of you. Hugs, Rebekka
~*~REBEKKA~*~
a.k.a. "Queen Vulture"
Married to my Soul Mate William
"My husband has cancer, Please pray for him"
Mommy to:
Timothy 5/80
Matthew 10/92
Cheyenne 9/99
Grandmother to Alayna 3/10
*EMAIL*: queen_vulture@msn.com
Feedback link: http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/796.html
3|1|I echo the above ladies....prayers for him, that he pursue proper care and recovers quickly....prayers for you, his mama, cuz as a mom my heart is breaking for you.|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|22:40:06|05/27/2011|
" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."
4|1|Robin, I feel for you. I really do. Keeping you and your son in my prayers. No matter how old our children our, in our hearts, they are still our babies. Not only might your son be dealing with Post Concussion Syndrome, he also might be dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from his attack.|Ranalt|ainebailey@gmail.com|23:10:23|05/27/2011|
Life as mom is never easy. I hope your son gets better soon.
Life is like a cup of tea,
It's all in how you make it.
Lisa
5|2|sorry about this|angNC|memawang@nc.rr.com|23:17:21|05/27/2011|
Need Avon, email me! 6|1|Don't you have rights to his medical info being his mother?|wegogo|mike15461@gmail.com|04:21:21|05/28/2011|
I would call the dr and ask what exactly the situation is and if you feel the need to be with him after that I would definitely go to where he is if the military allows. They may even put you up for a couple days if he is in the hospital. YOU are his mom and the reason he is on this earth and whether he is being hurtful to you on his own accord or due to the injury you definitely deserve to be with your son and hear things firsthand whether from him or the doctor. It sounds like he is mad in general though not sure how he is talking to other people and I would bet in his thoughts he regrets talking to you that way. If not now, eventually. You know you are a good lady/mom and with him is where you long/should be so I I would go whether he likes it or not. FInd out what you can and be there for him. If there are problems with him see if anyone is helping him deal professio0nally with the psych issues related to the situation and see if they can help somehow. If something happens down the road you don't wanna spend the rest of your life wishing you went, wishing you were there, wishing you talked. My aunt went though 10 years of her son having a brain injury and it was not always pleasant and you don't know where its going to go so if your heart leads you there to him that's where to be. Its not helping your life any by being upset like this all the time. Stress can kill you. We don't want anything to happen to you either! Sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. I hope the situation improves for you. I have only dealt with you once on the 130.00 lipstick deal but you were awesome in your emails and its just not fair to you to be so upset. You don't deserve it. 7|2|Her son is an adult in his twenties, so no, she does not have parental rights to his medical information....he would have to sign a release with his doctors for her to get the information.|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|06:39:55|05/28/2011|
Posted on May-28-11 at 06:39 AM (Eastern) by 98.213.152.114
ETA: Unless he has named her as his POA for healthcare (And I sure dont know many twenty-somethings who have a POA in place, they dont consider that accidents and tragedies occur even to the young and healthy).
" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."
8|3|That sucks. You would think she gave birth to him so she would!!! All the medical situations I have been in|wegogo|mike15461@gmail.com|06:56:57|05/28/2011|
even with step kids they gave me info because I was considered "family". Unless he gave strict orders to not tell anyone anything but him. You would think family would be the f word that meant something when it was said! I would still try. Worse they can say is no. 9|4|RObin...I am so sorry you are going thru this|BusterBrown|srfreezerqueen@hotmail.com|07:08:26|05/28/2011|
I can not even imagine what you are possibly going thru. the roommate may have replied that way cause your son does not want her to say anything..not because she was being rude intentionally(or perhaps she was), but it may be easier on those living with him to humor his wishes. Whoever mentione PTSD has a really valid point as well....hugs to you...text me or email me if ya need to rant...Love ya...Jodie 10|1|I would go and pay him a visit if he likes it or not. No matter how far he is a way from you |STEVE|STEVBOLT@WMIS.NET|07:56:49|05/28/2011|
Plus postage to all my handling fees
Please send your address on first email so the trade can be made faster.
Sorry no pay pal reg mail works for me
I accept cash, check or MO but if the check bounces you will owe me double plus the fees of the bank.
Please leave feedback for me under STEVE I opened a feedback link April 2011 11|1|I'm sorry Robin. :( Praying for you & your son that his injuries will heal a little more quicker. |maraj|maraj64@hotmail.com|08:55:37|05/28/2011|
Smile... it makes people wonder what you're up to!
Please identify yourself in 1st email w/name/username. Due to recent problem trades, if I haven't traded w/you before, I will probably require you send your end 1st or I'll need LEGIT trade references/feedback. I will be happy to provide the same. IF you plan to hold your end til you've received mine, I will need to know that IMMEDIATELY, BEFORE trade is finalized.
12|1|Oh Robin..I am sooo very sorry (((HUGS)))|Skaytes|skaytez@gmail.com|09:04:53|05/28/2011|
I echo what everyone else has said. I am keeping you both in my prayers here. More (((HUGS))) to you! 13|1|Robin, So sorry to hear all this keeping you and you son in my prayers|melpaul|Melpaul199@aol.com|09:07:41|05/28/2011|
Try to stay postive and be strong 14|1|My prayers are going out for you. I sincerely hope all turns out for both you and your son.. My heart goes out to you. |flapper|joyphalen@yahoo.com|09:34:59|05/28/2011|
I prefer no fee paypal, but will accept cc, stamps plus postage
Thank You
Joy User name flapper
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Garnette member 15|1|I know this is hard........|Quietwaters|Quietwaters39@hotmail.com|09:37:29|05/28/2011|
parenting adult children can be tricky. If he is saying trust me to handle this, then that is what you have to do if you want to maintain a healthy relationship with him. If adult children feel like they are being smoothered with concern, then they start keeping it all to themselves.
Praying for him and for you, I know how hard this is, they bring us the greastest joy and the greastest pain.
************
I should never have started reading these off my "berry" in a restaurant. So I stopped and waited till I got back home.
A few clarifications -- DS is not in the military - he's an international student going to school in East Jerusalem and living in the Occupied Territories of Palestine. I think if it was military I may have a little more freedom to get information, but just a few years ago (maybe 5 or 6) our government passed that HIPAA law which basically says an adult is an adult is an adult. So I have no legal rights to his medical information and as Joy mentioned, 20-somethings never believe they are susceptible to injury, accidents, etc.
I'm suspecting his mood/attitude/nastiness is a result of the injury. He's not on any pain meds and hasn't been. I cannot imagine that losing a chunk of scalp isn't incredibly painful. Hell, if I pull a hair out of my head from a snarl or whatever, that HURTS.
I so appreciate all the kind words. We're all moms and we all know how every little hangnail our kids have, pulls our heart strings every time. Please keep the good thoughts happening... I'm sure they are helping him and I know they are helping me. 17|2|Even in the military...|Quietwaters|Quietwaters39@hotmail.com|11:39:26|05/28/2011|
if they have not signed for you to recieve information, it is not easy to get.
************
,,,,,, 19|2|So true Margie! Robin, I am so sorry you are dealing with all of that....|sunriver|sunriver@gmail.com|12:49:13|05/28/2011|
Keeping you and your son in my prayers.
I hope that you can find some sense of peace and he gets the help he probably needs to heal from that. Trauma can stay with a person for a long time, but it doesn't have to. I hope he is in good hands and will hear himself soon.
You are a good mom. He is a lucky kid. He'll figure that out!
Hugs to you in the meantime. 20|1|Prayers, eat well and exercise, take care so you can be there for him. blessings . Iris|BMOREGAL|bmoregal2000@aol.com|15:45:07|05/28/2011|
The needs of the many, outweigh the greed of a few.
wish list
morningstar farm veggie foods
Sabra hummus
activa $1
yo plus
millstone coffee $1
kashi foods $1
Bear naked cereal
Malto meal cereal IP ok
Tide $2
Purex 3-1 $3
Silk soy milk $1
baby wipes $1
Toilet paper $1...marcal, cottonelle ect
free food or paper items
Btfe
Doggie treats, Eukanuba
poptarts
Target pharmacy coupons for $10 GC wyb meds
please send w/l as i have lots to trade but no PP,Thanks in advance...Iris
21|2|i'm so sorry..i know how hard it is....|shellysmsmo|jpksms@sbcglobal.net|15:58:03|05/28/2011|
don't wear yourself out over it all...I'm sorry that you can't be there
with him...to see for yourself what is going on. Just try to stay strong...
I know it's really hard to do.. BUT believe in your heart that your son
will be ok...I'm so sorry for all your going thru..I truly am.
I will pray for you and your son, and sure hope things turn around for
both of you.
22|1|Just read on his facebook...|whitmarg|robin@whitmannet.com|19:44:48|05/28/2011|
That he's suffering from insomnia, concentration deficiency and motor skills. WTH does that mean? OMG... I don't think I can take this. I really don't. I'm not strong enough. 23|2|I am so sorry Robin, I know this is so agonizing for you, I wish I lived closer, I would give you a huge hug....I wish Chris would just change his mind and come home~*~|RebekkaVA|queen_vulture@msn.com|19:52:40|05/28/2011|
~*~REBEKKA~*~
a.k.a. "Queen Vulture"
Married to my Soul Mate William
"My husband has cancer, Please pray for him"
Mommy to:
Timothy 5/80
Matthew 10/92
Cheyenne 9/99
Grandmother to Alayna 3/10
*EMAIL*: queen_vulture@msn.com
Feedback link: http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/796.html
24|3|Thanks Rebekka -- and I can feel that hug... I can...|whitmarg|robin@whitmannet.com|20:02:12|05/28/2011|
:) 25|4|You are such a dear friend, my heart is just breaking for you, I am putting in a prayer chain at the church tommorrow for Chris and you (((HUGS)))~*~|RebekkaVA|queen_vulture@msn.com|20:10:57|05/28/2011|
~*~REBEKKA~*~
a.k.a. "Queen Vulture"
Married to my Soul Mate William
"My husband has cancer, Please pray for him"
Mommy to:
Timothy 5/80
Matthew 10/92
Cheyenne 9/99
Grandmother to Alayna 3/10
*EMAIL*: queen_vulture@msn.com
Feedback link: http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/796.html
26|2|You CAN handle this but you have to remember to take care of you first, God give us what he knows we can hancle. He has faith in us|wegogo|mike15461@gmail.com|00:53:38|05/29/2011|
even when we don't! Keep the faith in HIM and it will get you through. He must have a reason. 27|1|I want to believe that... but what could possibly be the reason for this?|whitmarg|robin@whitmannet.com|03:32:30|05/29/2011|
I just don't know HOW to get through this. I keep running possible scenarios through my head. Like, what if he goes to the neurosurgeon and the guy says, oh yeah, we have to operate now... and I don't know because he doesn't have time to tell me and then I don't have time to get there -- it takes at least 15 houra from here to there... assuming available flights, etc. What do I know about their medical abilities? I mean, I guess every country has to have good medical... but...?
I'm trying and all of you are helping me, you really are. I don't know what I would do without this RS outlet. 28|2|Oh, Robin I am just now reading this and I am so sorry you are having all this to handle. I could send Spunky over he'd give you a big fat kiss :)|eecwz|eecwz1@gmail.com |07:40:59|05/29/2011|
Will be praying for DS and you :) I know it's hard but you can do it. Just make sure you vent here a lot. (((HUGGS)))
Thanks for all the great trades. Please leave me feedback here:
http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/1094.html
31|2|If you can afford to get there I would go.|wegogo|mike15461@gmail.com|22:26:02|05/29/2011|
He seems mad, probably at lots of things. If this is not the normal him and it is the brain injury talking try to go back to your normal relationship in your head and see how you think he would deal with it. n I know my mom was gone and all I had was a heart cath and I was wishing for her! He may realize it when you get there and iou never know how iuf not too bad. You are his mom and you should be there because you do not know how it is going to go or how long it is going to go on. My aunt when through 10 years of tumors and operations just because of a stupid ride at cedar point. Brain injuries are unpredictable. His injury sounds much worse than her sons. I would go and do lots of praying. Just don't forget about you. Without your health and sanity there's nothing. 32|2|Hard to tell|wegogo|mike15461@gmail.com|22:34:38|05/29/2011|
the reasoning. Maybe something really good will come out in the end. I sure do hope so. I do hear the drs are really good there. 29|1|Robin, sorry, you are going through this. praying that you have strengh and patients, to make it through|dlpavitt|dlpavitt@att.net|08:19:46|05/29/2011|
If you are a HONEST trader, there is nothing to fear in having a feedback link. If you do not have one, please set one up, BEFORE contacting me for a trade. If you insist on not having a feedback link, please do not contact me to trade. Feedback links protect all of us, on RS. Thanks for understanding. Donna 30|1|As a professional who works with Veterans.........|kdrink|kdrink34@yahoo.com|14:24:06|05/29/2011|
you must remain supportive. If you push too fast, you will push away. Remain supportive, give encouragement (even if you may not think it is the best decision), this is the key. Keep your opinion to yourself unless it is in relation to him harming himself or that of someone else. Support and encouragement will allow him to express his thoughts because he will trust you not to freak out. Just out of curiosity....has he had any therapy for PTSD related issues (such as this) that you are aware of and has he looked into any benefits that he is entitled to due to his injuries???? You can email me kdrink34@yahoo.com 33|1|Wow, RObin. First time reading about this. So sorry that this happened and you are going through this!|RobinsCrazyWorld|robinmarie72@gmail.com|01:28:27|05/30/2011|