To all indoor-pet people!!!! (Make you sure you read the very last one as you scroll down!)
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my
food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor
do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me
doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the
couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to
sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out
and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the
door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to
open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline
attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't..
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't smoke or drink,
(7) don't want to wear your clothes,
(8) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college
(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.!
1|1|that was a good one and SOOO TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!|lydzkydz|lydzmcss@yahoo.com|18:00:58|05/07/2011|
please include your user name on refundsweepers.
i appreciate all the trades made in the past.
THANKS!! 2|1|LOLOL I can certainly relate! Especially to the w/the bedhog part.|maraj|maraj64@hotmail.com|18:17:26|05/07/2011|
Except my 4-legged little girl DOES stretch out, laying right behind me in my back w/her head on the pillow too, nose buried in my hair. If I start to move, I feel all 4 of her little paws press on my back, as if she's making sure to lmk she's there so I don't roll over on her. LOL And believe it or not, she'll even sometimes wake me up in the middle of the night by licking my face so that I roll over & she can then get the warm spot where I'd been laying. ROFL!!
Is she spoiled or what? LOLOL
Smile... it makes people wonder what you're up to!
Please identify yourself in 1st email w/name/username. Due to recent problem trades, if I haven't traded w/you before, I will probably require you send your end 1st or I'll need LEGIT trade references/feedback. I will be happy to provide the same. IF you plan to hold your end til you've received mine, I will need to know that IMMEDIATELY, BEFORE trade is finalized.
3|2|LOVE IT, BUT IT DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MOUTHY PARROTS ROFL|JOYHAPPYONE|DAIDOLA5@AOL.COM|19:59:57|05/07/2011|
JOY M GUERRINGUE 4|1|Is there a way I can share this on Facebook?|destiny|destinyroger@yahoo.com|14:30:30|05/08/2011|
I have some family members who refuse to come visit or eat over here because we have indoors pets yet MY house is more cleaner then theres!!! I love this!!
Get to know me better. Please visit me at
http://www.freewebs.com/mydestiny7 Where you'll find my blog, refunding, craft, gardening and more!
5|2|Copy and paste to your wall :)|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|16:32:53|05/08/2011|
" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."