It has been exactly one year since my husband had his stroke, so I thought that I would take a minute and do an update. Everyone on this site was so kind to me when it happened. So many times I had no idea what to do and would ask on here for help, and I always got it. My husband still can not move his left arm or left hand. He had therapy for months and can walk now some what unaided. He still forgets to lift his leg and then drags his foot which throws him off-balance and makes him fall. In the last couple of weeks it seems like some of his brain damage has healed and it is like having my husband back. Up until then it was as if he was a stranger. He could not remember much and often woke me up in the middle of the night to ask who was on the floor or if a spider was crawling down from the ceiling? Of course, there was no one there and definitely no spider crawling from the ceiling. My husband can no longer be left alone, I have to be with him 24 hours a day, everyday. He will never be able to drive, mow the lawn, or cut firewood for our wood stove. He was a sign painter, but now is on disability since he can no longer paint a sign with just one hand. Family services told me that I needed to get a full time job, but there is no way to watch someone 24 hours and then still have time to work a full time job. The doctors had to send letters to them to remind them of that. I work once in awhile doing health fairs and my oldest son watches my husband for me while I work. I always tell people that I died the day my husband had a stroke and in a way I guess that I did. My body is still here, but most of my life seems to be over. I guess only 24 hour a day caregivers can relate to that. I have cried and screamed so much the last year that I really am ashamed of myself. I did the very best that I could, I just wish that it had been better. At least I have used coupons for years, so I am pretty good at stretching a dollar. It will always be a struggle, but we will be alright. The only important thing right now is that my husband is here. 1|1|I am glad you still....|Quietwaters|Quietwaters39@hotmail.com|19:43:20|03/13/2011|
have your husband with you, and praying you can find joy in each day with him. I can just imagine how hard this is for you and will be in the future. My dad stroked at 62, and went from working daily to not being able to take care of himself. Since my parents were divorced, I became his gaurdian. For awhile my dad was able to live with my brother, and was able to go to daycare at the VA during the day. I don't know how funding works for that kind of thing but might be something you could look into. I know they should make it easier for people to remain at home, by offering help to pay for assisted care. Praying your husband continues to have improvement.
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Posted on Mar-13-11 at 08:30 PM (Eastern) by 98.213.152.114
I see Quietwaters had the same idea on a daycare program.....it is a very good idea :)
" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."
3|1|Your are a saint for all you do, God Bless you.|BMOREGAL|bmoregal2000@aol.com|23:15:51|03/13/2011|
The needs of the many, outweigh the greed of a few.
wish list
morningstar farm veggie foods
Sabra hummus
activa $1
yo plus
millstone coffee $1
kashi foods $1
Bear naked cereal
Malto meal cereal IP ok
Tide $2
Purex 3-1 $3
Silk soy milk $1
baby wipes $1
Toilet paper $1...marcal, cottonelle ect
free food or paper items
Btfe
Doggie treats, Eukanuba
poptarts
Target pharmacy coupons for $10 GC wyb meds
please send w/l as i have lots to trade but no PP,Thanks in advance...Iris
4|1|hope your husband get well and pratice daily to get strong. i had stroke two years ago at my age of over 40. |Lorey12|Lorey12@yahoo.com|23:33:37|03/13/2011|
i know what you feel and i had experience of stroke.
i am very stong and able to drive to work after three months at home with therapy. i have to take three pills everday.
only my weak is type computer if i type mistake word. good thing my work computer have spelling check in word.
andrea
:-D 5|1|It's good to see you post....more inside :)|RebekkaVA|queen_vulture@msn.com|19:49:20|03/14/2011|
I'm glad you're husband is still with you and has improved a bit. I can only imagine how hard it is, with my husband's health issues it's been an on and off struggle, but nothing like what you're going through and I will be praying for you. It's hard to watch out loved ones go from being a strong independent person to someone that has to rely on others to help them do even the simpliest things, but Thank GOD he's alive. My best friend is a caregiver to her mother 24/7 and I've seen the toll it takes on her, it is really hard and there are days that she feels burned out or like she's trapped, but she says that it's worth it because her mother is still alive and she can spend time with her. It is hard for me to express myself and type the right words, but I wanted you to know that I'm praying and hope things get better and better, so that your husband's health improves (((HUGS)))
~*~REBEKKA~*~
a.k.a. "Queen Vulture"
Married to my Soul Mate William
"My husband has cancer, Please pray for him"
Mommy to:
Timothy 5/80
Matthew 10/92
Cheyenne 9/99
Grandmother to Alayna 3/10
*EMAIL*: queen_vulture@msn.com
Feedback link: http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/796.html
6|1|thank you for understanding|tgriesse|teresagriesse@yahoo.com|20:11:11|03/14/2011|
This site is truly full of some of the best people I know. I have felt so guilty with all my complaining that I was not sure about posting for fear that someone would tell me what a horrible person I am. I should have known that all of you would understand what I was feeling. Thank you so much for your support and kind words. It is so much more than I got from a lot of my friends and family. It means the world to me. 7|2|We all need to vent sometimes girlie, I know maybe to some it sounds mean or selfish, but they need to walk a mile in your shoes before they can say anything. Life isn't easy and then adding the fact of taking care of someone 24/7 can be very stressful and it's okay to express how you feel, it isn't being selfish, it's being honest :) We all need someone to listen and believe me, without my RS family, I don't think I could've gotten through the last 3 1/2 yrs, it's been rough, but I am very Thankful ((((HUGS))))~*~|RebekkaVA|queen_vulture@msn.com|20:14:00|03/14/2011|
~*~REBEKKA~*~
a.k.a. "Queen Vulture"
Married to my Soul Mate William
"My husband has cancer, Please pray for him"
Mommy to:
Timothy 5/80
Matthew 10/92
Cheyenne 9/99
Grandmother to Alayna 3/10
*EMAIL*: queen_vulture@msn.com
Feedback link: http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/796.html
8|1|You exemplify what true love is|Kristy|mi3zons1@yahoo.com|23:24:49|03/14/2011|
What a great testimony you have. The daily struggles I can't begin to imagine but stay strong and do try to get those breaks Joy and Quietwaters talked about. It's important to take care of yourself so that you too can go on.
"Women should not have children after 35. Thirty-five children are enough." - anonymous (Only 28 to GO!)
"You're so open minded that your brain leaked out." - Steve Taylor 9|1|Prayers for you & your dh Teresa! :)|maraj|maraj64@hotmail.com|09:27:31|03/15/2011|
You're a strong & very caring person. I understand how difficult it must be for you but know that you are a wonderful person & you are NOT alone.
I'm so glad to hear that your dh is having positive progress & I believe it has alot to do w/how well YOU have been taking care of him. He knows he's loved & in good hands. :)
And yes, it's important to take some time out for yourself & to take care of yourself too! :)
Smile... it makes people wonder what you're up to!
Please identify yourself in 1st email w/name/username. Due to recent problem trades, if I haven't traded w/you before, I will probably require you send your end 1st or I'll need LEGIT trade references/feedback. I will be happy to provide the same. IF you plan to hold your end til you've received mine, I will need to know that IMMEDIATELY, BEFORE trade is finalized.
10|1|Big Hugs to You!!!|bcmunns|bcmunns@bellsouth.net|13:16:45|03/15/2011|
Teresa,
There is a special place in heaven for people that have to be caretakers for their loved ones--You are a wonderful person and it is perfectly OK to be honest and state exactly how you feel because that way you are not walking around with it all bottled up inside of you. You know you have to do what you have to do and you also know if there was anyway at all your husband would make things better for you and I am happy to hear that he is improving and able to get out some. Take care of yourself as others said and you can always come spend a week with me and we would hit the town and just have a good time.
Take care my friend and God Bless you and your husband