Okay.......this past month and a half has just been horrible.
I'm so sorry, but honestly, I just need to vent.....I'm tired of pretending I'm okay......I'm trying so hard to keep it together for my kids, my dh and my work......I'm tired and sad.
As you may know...I posted a little while ago about dh and being diagnosed with the large mass in his left kidney.....the good news is that it has NOT spread to his lungs....the bad news is...it's very large.....he is going in for surgery on Monday, December 6th.
In the meantime, my son, who will be 16 in January has really become quite rude and defiant. He's always been a great kid and still is....but won't do ANYTHING I ask him to.....(and honestly, I don't ask him to do anything except keep his room clean, bring down his dirty clothes and get decent grades)....I even PAY him as an incentive to get good grades and just shelled out $150 last week to reward him for a good report card (all a's and b's and 1 c)...
Anyway, today was the icing on the cake. Before I left for work today, the ONLY thing I asked him to do was to please clean his room.....he acknowledged and said he would.
Came home today...he's asleep on the couch.....I wake him and ask him to please go upstairs to his room if he's tired and wants to nap.......then I go upstairs to put my shoes away....pass his room and it STILL looks like a bomb went off (at 3 in the afternoon)....
I go downstairs and confront Devon....he gets a HUGE attitude ....blah blah blah.....so I tell him to please go outside and wait there until Doug (my dh) comes home, because honestly, I just couldn't take it anymore......so he takes it upon himself to leave...just take off down the driveway and leave, without saying where he is going or anything. So finally, I call his father (my ex husband) and talk to him about it....he lives a few streets away so I tell him Dev is probably on his way there...(lately, he's had this attitude like....well if I don't like what mom has to say, I'll just go to my dad's) and my ex has made it pretty clear to Dev that there are rules at both of our houses and he simply must respect them........
Anyway.......my ex says he'll talk to him...and in the meantime, Dev comes home...I put Dev on the phone with his dad and THAT'S when Dev starts lying through his freaking teeth RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME....that I never said anything about cleaning his room (downright LIE and my dh was RIGHT here when I told him), that he had to spend the ENTIRE day picking up pee and poop from the new puppy (another lie....the dog has a KENNEL......and peed ONCE on the floor and that was because my son decided to give him more water...AFTER I TOLD HIM THIS MORNING NOT to give him ANYTHING during the day, because I would feed him when I got home)...I just BLEW my top.....I do WAAAAY toooooo much for my son, and I WON'T have him LIE and DISRESPECT me.....I have NO freaking idea where the hell this is coming from...but honestly, I'm flat out heartbroken.......I lost it and while he was still on the phone with his dad I told him to pack his bag and go live over there...I'm DONE with the attitude and disrespect.
Dev went to his dad's and I feel horrible. I'm trying so hard to keep it together........but I'm furious........I know the teenage years are always hard....but we've ALWAYS had such a great relationship, that I guess I fooled myself into thinking it would be different between my son and I.
I'm so sorry to air my dirty laundry...but I just need to get it out.....the saddest part is....I have decided that until my son can respect me and the rules of my house.....he can not come home......I just can't take it anymore....I can't take the arguing, the rudeness and the disrespect......
1|1|Hang in there Kelly, it will pass. Wish I had more advice, for you. |dlpavitt|dlpavitt@att.net|16:48:21|11/24/2010|
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2|2|Thanks Donna......|kellysp6637|frugalk76@aol.com|16:52:19|11/24/2010|
I really appreciate it.....I HATE posting about my personal life.....but right now I feel so overwhelmed...... 3|1|Kelly, dont feel alone in the teen angst/attitude thing....my boys are overall really good kids, but they do get the attitude quite often these days. My advice is to hold strong to your rules, and consequences for breaking the house rules. It may not be a bad thing for him and you to have a break from each other for a couple days, it sounds like your ex supports your parenting, and since he's still nearby, the lines of communication can remain open. Josh tried to pull the "I'm going to live with my dad" crap just last week....I made it clear to his father why he was calling him to come get him, that it was a case of "I dont like the rules here, I'm going to dad's". His father talked to him and told him that was not the way things worked. Hang in there, I think if we all looked back at ourselves as teens, we'd see some of the same attitudes, and we turned out fine :)|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|17:20:19|11/24/2010|
" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."
4|2|Is he close with your hubby? Maybe he's really afraid for him right now and that's contributing to his attitude. :( Hang in there... stay firm and let him know that lying is not tolerated. Stick to your guns and try your best to get through the day. |Sara_s_Mom|IClipCoupons@gmail.com|18:39:33|11/24/2010|
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5|2|i done the same with my only daughter...made her dad come get her...and told her|couponsnsamples|cpsnsamples@aol.com|18:41:26|11/24/2010|
i couldnt take it anymore..that i had done all the work all these yrs...now its dads time......she decided she would stay wiht her
dad and step mom...she wasnt coming back home ect ...ect.......once she moved in there....she ended up doing all the cleaning...babysitting her step bro..all the time
all the laundry...ect......she is now 30 with her own kids ect...and she will tell u...that was the best thing i ever done for her......it made her see...life isnt always what it appears to be...when u only visit once in awhile....
she had it in her head that they lived the good life...they always had new cars.....went out to eat every nite...ect...when she moved there...the good life
wasnt so darn good anymore........ 6|1|Parenting is so hard! Kelly, I just wanted to say that I hope it all works out!|sunriver|sunriver@gmail.com|19:20:01|11/24/2010|
I'm sure it will. I agree with you on being firm about rules. Consistency is everything.
Keeping your family in my prayers. You have too much on your plate and deserve a break! Vanessa