So Jeromys dad is in his little plane and flying himself 1/2 way across country to visit us... He was just here at the end of June with the whole family. Not sure why he wanted to come back so soon. Maybe it was just a good excuse to fly his plane? LoL
I am currently on load 4 of about 10. I am washing everything bedding and towel wise. And I need to start my lasagna. I have been craving lasagna... Good homemade lasagna. I am eating a frozen one now, but it just isn't the same. I need to start that here in a bit... And tonight we have lamaze and need to get things for his Dad's visit.
His parents are buying Timothy his crib. We still need to pick out what he wants. Maybe that is something we will do while he is here.
His dad is staying until Tuesday....
AND THEN.....
My Mom flys in Wednesday. Soooo all this laundry AGAIN! LoL
Mom's trip should be interesting. I am not sure why she is coming, but she is and she is staying until the following Tuesday. My mom is, well, crazy. I had to cut her out for a year and a half. The only reason I contacted her again was because of Timothy. I knew how important he would be to her and I really couldn't hurt her by not bringing her into his life. (does that make sense?)I have not seen her in nearly 2 years and she has never met Jeromy or seen our home. She is already making comments about me not feeling 100% and that I may need to rest. She wants to go, go, go and I just can't. I told her that we can go out for a while early and then come home and take it easy... Then go back out later. She doesn't seem to happy with that? Sorry. That is just how it has to be. Also, she made comments about not being able to go out for dinner because I am having issues with eating and can only eat about 1 cup of food every other hour without having problems. Sorry, but that is just the way it is now. It is not like I planned all this. When she booked her flight I was around 20 weeks. Sunday I will be 26 weeks. He has grown a lot and my body has changed. Because of past surgeries I am having issues that my doctor says I shouldn't have until my 9th month.It's not like I planned this! ugh! I swear if she makes any more comments I may have to tell her tp post-pone her trip until after the baby comes.
I am use to having 40 hours a week to do what I need to do at my own pace. I am not use to having to entertain someone. I am use to being able to relax when needed and nap if needed. I just don't see much of that happening for the next week and a half. I know I can tell her this is what I need, but she will make me feel guilty and i will over do things. I know I shouldn't, it is just what will happen. I know myself to well.
Arghhhhhh!!!
A glass of wine sounds really good right now, but, ya know...
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.
1|1|((((((((((((((((((((Robin))))))))))))))))))))))))) Thought you needed a hug, sorry your mom is being difficult, hopefully the time will fly by|kandywolf|kandywolf@gmail.com|15:27:26|08/19/2010|
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2|1|Robin, do you have a bracelet? |sunriver|sunriver@gmail.com|17:10:56|08/19/2010|
Any old bracelet will do, but I am asking you to wear it the entire time your mom is visiting you. Why? Because I hope that when she is getting to you with guilt or wearing you out in any way, I want you to look at and feel that bracelet. And you are going to feel complete support behind you when you say "Stop", or "No", or "I need to rest now." And then I hope you can feel peace instead of guilt.
You already know (and I think I don't even need to tell you) that Timothy comes first. If she can't understand that then honestly maybe she shouldn't be back in your life. I'm sorry if that hurts to hear, because I mean it out of concern for you and the baby. She can put you first during her visit or honestly she does not deserve to visit.
Hang in there! 3|1|Yeah. that may be too long for her to stay.|hudge4|hudge95@yahoo.com|19:29:37|08/19/2010|
When we went to Tx to visit my inlaws, we planned on 6 days, too. My FIL is crazy and it turned out terribly. We should have just stayed 3-4 days, max. 6 days is too long for them to 'stay sane' and be nice!
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http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/1021.html 4|1|Did you invite her? Did you agree to the time frame? Do you know why she is coming? Will she be back again ( on her own terms again) when the baby is born?|suezz|clearys@comcast.net|07:25:34|08/20/2010|
If your relationship has already been dysfunctional, then you need to set some limits with her NOW. She has already taken charge of the visit and it might be to your and the baby's detriment, if that continues.
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5|2|I agree with Sue....if she's coming now because your expecting a baby, WHEN is the next time she'll make contact to be a part of Timothy's life? Will it be two more years? Anywho, I know you are stressed over it, you dont need us to tell you how to handle it....it's your mom, and I applaud you for opening the door to reconciliation and healing. I pray it goes well and you are able to establish a new 'grownup' relationship with her.|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|09:15:13|08/20/2010|
Posted on Aug-20-10 at 09:15 AM (Eastern) by 98.213.152.114
ETA: If it doesnt go well, then you know you gave it your best try, and it lays in her lap.
Hugs!
Joy
" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."
6|1|Ok....|RobinsCrazyWorld|robinmarie72@gmail.com|13:38:45|08/20/2010|
I didn't invite her, she said she wanted to come and I said ok.
Next week worked out for both of us so that is why the date was chosen.
She doesn't work well with PCs so I had to book her flight for her. She wanted to come from Thursday til Monday but something happened and it was accidentally made for Wed-Tuesday. She could have changed the dates with a phone call but didn't want to go through the hassle. I should have called and done it myself. Oh well.
I invited her back in my life. I can block her out again with out a problem. I am sure I will have an idea of if that is needed before Timothy gets her. She wants in his life. She will not be vanishing. She would never have been gone so long before if it was not for me. I changed my number and moved. My brother had my number and that is it. She knew not to ask him because he would NOT give it to her.
I don't know why she wanted to visit. I am her only daughter and she is excited about my baby. I am guessing she just wants to see me pregnant and help get things together for him. She has been buying him things and mailing them to us. I know she is bring more stuff with her on the plane.
She has mentioned wanting to be here when he is born. I already told her no. I told all the grandparents no. We will be in the hospital for a few days recovering from my c-section and i don't see the point of them coming just to sit in the hospital. Since J is still new at his job, he has no vacation or sick time. I will need help when we first come home and he goes to work. We are leaving the full size bed up in the babies room until after all the grandparents come and visit once... That should be with in the first couple of weeks and then the bed is out and the crib goes up. Only his parents or my mom will be here at one time. Not everyone at once.
So I do have my limits set. It is just the way she gets when she is bored that drives me nuts. She always wants to be on the go and i just can't. The last time she visited I had just had exploratory surgery which ended up with me having my stomach muscles cut completely through and even moving my pinky toe move hurt. I was only home 1 day before she came. She couldn't understand why I was cranky and didn't want to get out of the car and wanted to go home.... Oh, did I mention she is a NURSE?
She has changed some of the things that drove me crazy before. She was ALWAYS the victim. She would do things to make herself the victim. I would see it and it would drive me nuts. When I decided I had enough if threw it all out at her. I think it must have caught because she has not been that way once since we started talking. Before it was a daily thing. There were more things, but that has been the most noticeable.
Believe you me, Timothy is the most important person in my life, even now. I already decided not to have my dad in his life. He will probably meet him at some point, but I will not let him get close and he will not know him as grandpa. My one brother lives 5 minutes from him and has a 5 year old.... He has seen her TWICE! My other brother has a 4 year old. The only time he sees him is when his in-laws get their car worked on. He is their mechanic. This is also the man that told my mom not to pick my brother up from the airport when he got out of the army because he didn't want to deal with us kids anymore. (They are divorced now) and when I was having my 3rd operation in less then 3 months at 22ish, he told me i needed to find someone to drive me because they couldn't afford to take time off anymore. Like having surgery was something frivolous? My mom never knew this until a few years ago. There are many more things I could go one about, but it is just not worth it.
Between my parents and my brothers (one with mental issues and the other is a drug addict) I am lucky to be sane! I moved to Oregon after my divorce and struggled on my own when I could have moved to them and been taken care of. I know how to protect myself. And I know how to protect my baby.
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.
7|2|STICK TO YOUR GUNS GF you got it right baby first :) and hang in there and don't wear yourself out |lydzkydz|wyldkydz@embarqmail.com|15:48:56|08/20/2010|
and enjoy the goodies she brings him
all goodies help in the long run :)
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THANKS!! 8|2|Sounds like you have a practical and reasonable approach, Robin :) I'm still hoping this can be a new start for you and your mom....babies have a way of bringing people together :)|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|15:50:20|08/20/2010|
" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."
9|2|Robin keep in mind those departure dates can always be changed lol When my mil came to our house to help with things after Joe|teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|15:58:21|08/20/2010|
was born I sent her packing after about 3 days lol It was better for all of us in the end lol 10|3|LMAO I already have this in mind. Have the number written donw just in case.......|RobinsCrazyWorld|robinmarie72@gmail.com|16:00:13|08/20/2010|
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.
11|4|lol put it in spped dial lol lol |teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|16:14:32|08/20/2010|
>Posted on Aug-20-10 at 04:00 PM (Eastern)
>by 24.20.40.237
> (\__/) (='.'=) (")_(")
>I would rather have a mind opened
>by wonder than one closed by
>belief.