2|1|Went thru this so I truly understand & feel for you.|maraj|maraj64@hotmail.com|22:05:05|04/07/2010|I feel like I am going crazy. I have cried and cried. Please any suggestion will help. So tired of repeating myself. How does everyone else cope with it? I feel like I'm not doing a good job.
Michelle
1|1|CYE:-)|jdlaurie|savethosepennies@aol.com|21:02:32|04/07/2010|
My son is ADHD, Impulse Disorder and Mood Disorder and I know exactly how you feel! Let's chat!
Laurie
2|1|Went thru this so I truly understand & feel for you.|maraj|maraj64@hotmail.com|22:05:05|04/07/2010|
Cried in my pillow more times than I care to remember. But the key to retaining your sanity is routine, routine, routine, & quiet, relaxing time for yourself.
What I learned is that some of the symptoms of ADHD (my son actually had/has PTSD w/anxiety which mimics alot of the ADHD hyperactivity & lack of concentration/remembering) are actually normal childhood behavior so the forgetfulness isn't due to just the ADHD. Yes, they need reminders but if we're continually reminding them to do something, they tend to get too dependent upon someone helping them to remember, kwim? I don't know how old your child is but they need to begin learning about the consequences of their forgetfulness asap. Like if my son would forget a homework assignment in school, then he had to deal w/the consequences of either getting a bad grade or getting to school earlier the next day/stay in at recess to get it done before that class. You don't want them to get into a habit of "forgetting" too many assignments or their household chores so you need to be aware of what's truly ADHD or just normal childhood sluffing, & make them face consequences at home for it (no playtime w/friends or watching tv if homework or chores aren't done 1st, etc.). You'll be amazed at how much better they'll remember those things when they lose a privilege. ;)
My son has worn glasses since early childhood so I also got him into the habit of always placing his glasses on his night stand at bedtime or on the bathroom cabinet when showering. Same w/his watch when he was older. It was important for him to have those certain safe places to put those things EVERY time he took them off. It helped w/his organization skills & to know he could count on them being where they should be, instead of putting them somewhere willy nilly & then needing me to help him find them back.
And I cannot emphasize how important it is for them to have an almost rigid routine for mealtime & bedtime. Eating lunch or supper at the same times every day & going to bed at the same time every night is crucial. They NEED that routine along w/plenty of sleep to help them stay on task & to minimize behavior problems, & you'll find it's also beneficial for YOU cuz you'll both then know what to expect & when to expect it. Relaxing & unwinding before bedtime is difficult for ADHD kids, just as staying on task is, because their minds work at 1,000 miles a minute as there's SO much more going thru their minds than w/non-ADHD kids. Having your child do something relaxing an hour or 2 before bedtime will help alot, be it reading, coloring/drawing &/or listening to music, etc. NO tv, video games or computer as they're too stimulating for them & will just add to their restlessness. My son would read sports magazines or joke books but otherwise wasn't much of a reader so I'd let him color/draw or write his thoughts/feelings in a special notebook while also listening to music on low. My son loves music so it was always used to drown out other possible distractions while he did his homework, drew/colored, doodled, etc. This also helps alleviate some of the zig/zag/zoom that goes on in their minds. My son may not remember where he put his jacket or cell phone 5 min. ago but he can absorb & recite from memory just about anything you'd ever want to know about football, basketball, wrestling &/or baseball dating clear back to decades ago! LOL
Keeping your child active during the day helps her/him burn off pent up energy & also helps reduce behavior problems. Try to keep him/her involved in some kind of physical activity such as basketball, baseball/softball, swimming, biking, bowling, frisbee, &/or school sports like wrestling, basketball, volleyball, track, etc. It also helps them learn how to focus better on the activities they enjoy & are involved in. The more physically challenging, the better.
Of course your child is going to want to have overnights w/friends but be prepared to "re-program" your child the next day after he/she has spent the night at a friend's or had a friend stay overnight. They need that as much as any other child but it's likely going to throw them off their routine & affect their behavior for the next 24 hrs. cuz their friend's mealtime, bedtime, etc. is usually going to be different then what your child is used to. You just have to grit your teeth & try to get them back on their own routine asap.
Find your child's niche - what good thing does he/she enjoy alot - music, reading, art, sports, math, history? Sports & music are my son's so I've always encouraged those things. He got a guitar at a young age & he went from strumming on that to playing the drums (which also helps him focus AND burn off energy!). I also kept him amply supplied w/sports magazines/books/memorabilia. Once you & your child find that special "something", he/she will be willing to work diligently at it, keeping them occupied in a constructive manner, & give you some "down" time of your own.
Sorry this is so long but I hope you'll be able to find something helpful in it, for both of you. :)
Please identify yourself in 1st email w/name/username. Due to recent problem trades, if I haven't traded w/you before, I will probably require you send your end 1st or I'll need LEGIT trade references/feedback. I will be happy to provide the same. IF you plan to hold your end til you've received mine, I will need to know that IMMEDIATELY, BEFORE trade is finalized.
3|1|I can relate...|sunriver|lithiasalt@cheerful.com|22:28:58|04/07/2010|
My middle daughter has some learning disabilities and I blamed myself for a long time. I'm sure that you love him and you've done everything possible. It takes time for stuff to sink in. In the meantime, hang in there! 4|1|my oldest son- who is now 34 has/ had ADHD.|ppe1952|MATWELL3@ROCHESTER.RR.COM|09:51:28|04/08/2010|
when it was suggested that we try ritulin we did and that medication did wonders. he went from bouncing on a bed all day to doing 100 piece crossword puzzles in a matter of days. however if for whatever reason the meds got forgotten then we were in trouble and we had to see the doctor every 3 months for a new prescription because it is a controlled substance. and as he grew the dosage had to be adjusted.
then he found a game that he still plays to this day. he is a huge dungeons and dragons player. loves the game. it lets him invent charectors and use his creativity. it requires he pay attention to detail and use his intelligence.
now he is in college to get a degree because he wants to be a teacher. he is getting married in august.
were there problems-- oh yeah
are there problems-- oh yeah
but there is hope and my best advice is to find his niche--something that takes his concentration and talents and let him explore that avenue. while you might not like the area he chooses----- support him. if meds are suggested take it seriously. it worked for us.
Remember your manners: when god answers your prayers----- say thank you. 5|1|Thanks 2 every1 that responded.|ccprecious31|ccprecious31@aol.com|15:10:55|04/08/2010|
It has really made a difference. I thought I was loosing my mind. Now I realize that I am stressed. I need to find time to do the things that I like to do again. The reason I say that is this morning I went to the movies by myself and now I feel great more relaxed. Trying to find something that interest him. Yes, he is on medication and I can tell a difference. Went to Dr. Wed n switched the other was $78.00 month. Will call insurance company to see how much this one will be before going to get it filled.
I know I need to take time for me but I feel quilty when I do. Also, the 3yr twins keep me busy and he wants me all to himself so do the girls. Sometimes its not enough time in the day to get everything done. Any more suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Michelle
6|2|Hang in there Michelle!|Beaglesfly|lmllr77@aol.com|21:59:38|04/08/2010|
I see you said he's on medication - sometimes it can take trying different kinds and strengths to find the right one which can take awhile. My son had to try 3 or 4 different kinds and then we had to get the right strength before he evened out. Plus, sometimes you can find a medication that works for a while and then it stops working.
And I think the maturity that comes with getting older makes a difference too. I can't believe how different my son is even from 3 years ago, some of it due to medication, but some of it just from growing into his own self.
If your son goes to a public school, utilize whatever services they can offer, even if you have to fight for them. My son's insurance fought it at first, but it's not hard to fight back when you know that your child just can't get by without some extra help.
Good luck and post whenever things get rough! I know I'll always have an encouraging word for ya if I see you post!
Lauren