Last edited on Mar-13-10 at 02:40 PM (Eastern) by 97.104.17.40
Posted on Mar-12-10 at 11:14 AM (Eastern) by 97.104.17.40
I love my rude ungrateful ADULT children.
I love my rude ungrateful ADULT children.
I love my rude ungrateful ADULT children.
I have to keep reminding myself!!!!
My older daughter turns 40 in August. Two of her teenage kids have birthdays this month, and I sent them special cards with a $25. Gift Card in each. I can't see the kids because they are too far away. I just got an email from my daughter saying that the kids really didn't want the gift cards from the store I selected, where I thought they could get just about anything that they are "INTO". They would much prefer CASH, and their other grandparents send cash (and alot more of it). IMAGINE!! So, she gave her kids the equivalent in cash for the cards, and now SHE has to use them, which she says she needs "like a hole in the head"!!!!
My younger daughter (38) has 3 children and now 3 step-children, and she has asked that I treat them all the same. So, given that I have 9 kids to send to, $25. each is alot for me. I won't be surprised, if, in April when two of them have their birthdays, I get a similar resulting email.
I don't feel that the kids are at fault here. It is what they are being TAUGHT by my daughter, that really upsets me. I can't, for the life of me, imagine WHY she is doing this (and MANY other things). She was certainly not raised to act this way.
Comments????
Thanks
Kathryn
1|1|First of all..I'm sorry!!|shellysmsmo|jpksms@sbcglobal.net|11:18:35|03/12/2010|
I'm sure it upset you...I think it was a great idea....what teen doesn't like best buy..you can buy lots of different things there... I'm surprised that your daughter felt the need to tell you this.
if she was going to take the cards and give them $$$ why not just do that..I would never want to hurt my moms feelings. I'm sure it's just one of those things.."she" wasn't thinking.
2|1|Even if that was true (that the grandsons would rather have cash), your daughter really should have kept that to herself.....I have no earthly idea why she felt she needed to inform you of that...she could have exchanged the gc's for cash on her own and left it at that. Oh, and I was taught by my mother to write or call with my OWN thank you's when I was old enough to talk/write...my boys do the same....why are your grandkids not contacting you themselves to thank you? (again, not your fault, sometimes no matter how you raise them, kids dont carry the lessons with them in life)|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|11:18:47|03/12/2010|
" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."
3|1|Sounds like my sister when Mom stopped sending money in cards I can just picture her shaking the card down for the money lol|teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|11:29:35|03/12/2010|
>Posted on Mar-12-10 at 11:14 AM (Eastern)
>by 97.104.17.40I love my rude ungrateful
>ADULT children. I love my rude
>ungrateful ADULT children. I love my
>rude ungrateful ADULT children.
>I have to keep reminding myself!!!!
>My older daughter turns 40 in August.
> Two of her teenage kids
>have birthdays this month, and I
>sent them special cards with a
>$25. Gift Card in each.
>I can't see the kids because
>they are too far away.
>I just got an email from
>my daughter saying that the kids
>really didn't want the gift cards
>from "Best Buy" where I thought
>they could get just about anything
>that they are "INTO". They would
>much prefer CASH, and their other
>grandparents send cash (and alot more
>of it). IMAGINE!! So, she
>gave them the equivalent in cash
>for the cards.
>My younger daughter (38) has 3 children
>and now 3 step-children, and she
>has asked that I treat them
>all the same. So, given
>that I have 9 kids to
>send to, $25. each is alot
>for me. I won't be
>surprised, if, in April when two
>of them have their birthdays, I
>get a similar resulting email.
>I don't feel that the kids are
>at fault here. It is
>what they are being TAUGHT by
>my daughter, that really upsets me.
> I can't, for the life
>of me, imagine WHY she is
>doing this (and MANY other things).
> She was certainly not raised
>to act this way.
>Comments????
>Thanks
>Kathryn
4|1|Feel free to adopt my kids LOL. All five of the boys and even Bekah love Best Buy.... |Kristy|mi3zons1@yahoo.com|11:32:32|03/12/2010|
I'm not sure if it's cause their daddy is a geek or what but all my kids love best buy. Sounds like the other posters said your daughter just shouldn't have shared that. I can say my kids got gift cards last year or the year before I honestly don't remember but my oldest was turning 13 and it was to KB Toys. At 13 toys really aren't his thing so I just gave him the cash and traded the gcs. I never told the person who gave them the gcs because I figured that was just rude. If the intent to do good is there then why go back and complain ya know
Edited to add:
Last year my grandma came to me and said she couldn't keep doing the $25 for each kid for birthdays like she was. I told her one of my favorite memories of my great grandma was a card with $5 in it. It wasn't the amount of money but the fact that Nan never forgot my birthday. No matter how old she got, no matter how sick, it always came.
"Women should not have children after 35. Thirty-five children are enough." - anonymous (Only 28 to GO!) 5|1|Do the grandkids call you ever to say thanks? My neices and nephews don't so Mom stopped sending |teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|11:33:08|03/12/2010|
>Posted on Mar-12-10 at 11:14 AM (Eastern)
>by 97.104.17.40I love my rude ungrateful
>ADULT children. I love my rude
>ungrateful ADULT children. I love my
>rude ungrateful ADULT children.
>I have to keep reminding myself!!!!
>My older daughter turns 40 in August.
> Two of her teenage kids
>have birthdays this month, and I
>sent them special cards with a
>$25. Gift Card in each.
>I can't see the kids because
>they are too far away.
>I just got an email from
>my daughter saying that the kids
>really didn't want the gift cards
>from "Best Buy" where I thought
>they could get just about anything
>that they are "INTO". They would
>much prefer CASH, and their other
>grandparents send cash (and alot more
>of it). IMAGINE!! So, she
>gave them the equivalent in cash
>for the cards.
>My younger daughter (38) has 3 children
>and now 3 step-children, and she
>has asked that I treat them
>all the same. So, given
>that I have 9 kids to
>send to, $25. each is alot
>for me. I won't be
>surprised, if, in April when two
>of them have their birthdays, I
>get a similar resulting email.
>I don't feel that the kids are
>at fault here. It is
>what they are being TAUGHT by
>my daughter, that really upsets me.
> I can't, for the life
>of me, imagine WHY she is
>doing this (and MANY other things).
> She was certainly not raised
>to act this way.
>Comments????
>Thanks
>Kathryn
14|2|I have been debating not sending packages to my my family members. (M)|RobinsCrazyWorld|robinmarie72@gmail.com|13:19:15|03/12/2010|
I was sending my niece a package every month since Nov. 2008... one phone call to say thank you. Not her fault, but her parents... So on the fence about this one. May send one every few months?
Sent my brother (nieces dad) boxes of food. No think you for any of them.
Send my other brothers son a few gifts. One thank you via email for my SIL, but that was only because she was trying to rub things in my face...
I guess no reply is better then them telling me they would prefer something else? 6|1|K my sister is the queen of rude when she called my Mom|teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|11:41:07|03/12/2010|
to scream at her she went off on her too cause we were going to have cake for Mike n Marlena ( they share a bd) lol I was like wth of course we are they are My kids so why wouldn't we Mom is just here for the ride lol 7|2|Guess she thinks you should put mom in the closet for family events LOL|Kristy|mi3zons1@yahoo.com|11:42:43|03/12/2010|
"Women should not have children after 35. Thirty-five children are enough." - anonymous (Only 28 to GO!) 8|3|What was her problem with the cake? She didnt think Nana should have cake cuz she's diabetic or what? A little piece of cake now and then doesnt hurt...it's called a therapeutic diet holiday....sheesh.|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|11:57:11|03/12/2010|
" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."
9|4|No it was just all about "doing" for one grandchild and not the other lol|teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|12:06:09|03/12/2010|
>Posted on Mar-12-10 at 11:57 AM (Eastern)
>by 98.213.175.237" You'll get what's coming
>to you ... Unless it was
>mailed."
>
10|5|Oh for pete's sake.....doesnt your sister live up north? How on earth is Nana supposed to get a cake up there?!?!|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|12:09:53|03/12/2010|
" You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless it was mailed."
12|6|Exactly lol|teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|12:26:25|03/12/2010|
>Posted on Mar-12-10 at 12:09 PM (Eastern)
>by 98.213.175.237" You'll get what's coming
>to you ... Unless it was
>mailed."
>
11|5|Hi Teener: I could write BOOKS on trying to please and appease my adult kids re gift-giving to their kids!!!|missy|lovetotrade@hotmail.com|12:25:32|03/12/2010|
It is just NUTS! Especially now that step-kids have joined the family!!! It is why I couldn't have ANY of them come down to Florida for my wedding! I couldn't afford to pay for ALL of them, to obtain passports, medical travel insurance, airfares etc just for starters! PHEW!!!!
But worst of all, I have been told that I am not "allowed" to help in any way with anything "special" for my grandson who has Muscular Dystrophy!! It breaks my heart:( But, according to my "girls", the other kids would not understand his being treated any differently, and they might be hurt! Now, come on!!!!!! These are not LITTLE kids we are talking about here!
Anyways, thanks for letting me vent! I am just SO upset and frustrated!!! GRRRRR!
Kathryn 19|6|Since when do kids get to tell grandparents what they are ALLOWED to do with their own money?|Abbicca|Abbicca@insightbb.com|15:21:46|03/12/2010|
My opinion is that you can do whatever you'd like with YOUR hard earned money. If you choose to give some (ANY amount) to your kids or grandchildren, they should be grateful---end story. The fact that you made an effort to actually go out and buy a giftcard geared toward their particular likes/dislikes is, IMHO, in your favor more so than if you'd sent cash. It shows you put actual THOUGHT into it as versus just your wallet.
And as to being TOLD that you are not ALLOWED to give anything special to a child with MD because the others might feel left out or neglected. Weeeeellllll, if all your grandkids were willing to forgo life's little luxuries that your grandson with MD is going to be forgoing..... THEN, they have an argument. Now, I'm not for spoiling him rotten...nor giving him extravagent toys and gifts. BUT, if what you'd like to do is help him out with the extra expenses involved with being "differently abled"---I don't think anyone should have any problems with that.
And please look for an email from me tonight. :) 26|7|Thanks Abbica|missy|lovetotrade@hotmail.com|17:53:24|03/12/2010|
I wish my daughters thought like you!!!! 13|1|WOW! Sorry to hear this. My Parents sent my daughter 15.00(cash) for her birthday, and I thought that was fine. I think 25.00 is plenty for a teenager.|dlpavitt|dlpavitt@att.net|13:15:41|03/12/2010|
ALways looking for:
daisy sourcream .60/1, or .50/1
utz chips, any
hunt's snack pack pudding
eggland's best eggs, .50/1 or better
powerade(any)
pepperidge farm cakes
thomas's english muffins
skippy peanut butter off 1
jif peanut butter off 1
Kellogg's off 1
General mills off 1
viva papertowels, .75/1
cottonelle, 1.00/1 or .50/1
cottonelle wipes 1.00/1 or better
coolwhip, any
gatorade g2
coupons good on ANY coke product
sprite coupons
mystic pizza coupons
Unused Stamps(small denomination's okay)
Well concealed cash
Free's(that I need)
bigelow tea, any
pphf, existing funds please
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Try to get all trades out with in 12 hours of confirmation. If you do not have a board name, and feedback, I will mail my end, only after I receive your end. Happy trading. Thanks for looking, Donna
15|2|Thanks, I needed that!|missy|lovetotrade@hotmail.com|13:58:05|03/12/2010|
:) 16|1|Since when do you HAVE to give anything?|hudge4|hudge95@yahoo.com|14:32:34|03/12/2010|
It's nice to get a little something, but to expect it? This is unbelievably rude and demanding.
My kids always get stuff ($$ and presents) from their grandparents when they visit (every few months). One time one of them got a little too expectant and let it slip that they wanted to collect the money and head out to their friends house and not even stay for the visit. NOT! That did not fly with me and not only did they NOT get to keep grandma's generous monetary gift, but they got grounded to boot. My kids are not going to look at their grandparents (or me for that matter) as money bags. They had better learn to treat people (especially family) with love and respect, not looking for self-interest.
Just my experience.....
~~Feedback link~~
http://www.refundsweepers.com/dcforum/feedback/1021.html 17|2|I thought that I had instilled that in MY kids, but, now that they have kids of their own,|missy|lovetotrade@hotmail.com|14:49:30|03/12/2010|
it is an entirely different story! I just don't get it! My oldest grandson will be 18 next year, and for ALL of his 18 years, my daughter has been harassing me about the gifts that I give! And she has two other kids too. I just can't win. But, I will NOT resort to sending cash, and she hates that!! I almost think that it is not about the "kids" at all. I think maybe she just can't be bothered to drive them to whatever store the gift cards are from!! She is "too busy", but, of course, she won't say THAT!
Anyways, I was so happy thinking that I was sending them something they would love, but she has ruined that. And she may have even ruined it for her kids too! Although I am sure that whatever their "Mommy" says, is golden.
My grandkids have not even been taught to say thanks, apparently, and I just can't understand it. I "drilled" it into my girls, to show and say their thanks, when they were young!
Kathryn 18|1|my 2 cents :)|lydzkydz|wyldkydz@embarqmail.com|15:03:48|03/12/2010|
i for one was raised to say thank you for whatever i got from whomever and even write thank you notes and i make the kids to the same for every thing
i think it is rude of the girls to do what they did to you
i say STOP with the gifts and see how they like that
and when they ask WHY you quit say well i have a life of my own now and i need to live it
and you all are so ungrateful for what i do send so i am not going to bother any more
take the money you were going to spend on the kids and go spend it on yourself
you deserve it!!!
i know some of my relatives if they didn't get a thank you note or call
they didn't give out nothing the next time
that is just my short feelings i could go on and on but i don't have time LOL
hugssssssss
Lydia
please include your user name on refundsweepers.
i appreciate all the trades made in the past.
THANKS!! 20|2|Even my 2yr old grandaughter knows to say Thank You..... i have 5 grandchildren..and 4 children..2 are grown and 2 live at home..|couponsnsamples|cpsnsamples@aol.com|15:29:48|03/12/2010|
i only spend around $25 on each grandchild...because basically...they get so much stuff they dont know half of what they have..
i was guilty of spending wayyyyyyyyyy more on birthdays....when i only had one or two...but now theres 5.....plus my children..and the older 2 spouses...
it gets expensive....and when they get bunches of stuff..i feel like its a waste...
i only spend $25 on the older grown kids...like i tell my teenager...when u leave my house...then u get downgraded to $25 also..LOL
your example of how your daughter acted...sounds alot like my oldest grandaughter......2008 christmas..i got my daughter a digital camera........i felt like she was missing out on alot of great
pictures of the kids by not having one of her own..........when she opened it.....my grandaughter blew a gasket!..crying ect.......that ticked me off royally...to grump about what
someone elses gift was......she complained that she wanted one and didnt get it...ect....she came really close to getting her big butt busted...on christmas day!!!
anyway........this past christmas i got her the digital camera...she was warned...several times...that if i got a camera for her....then that would be nearly all of what i allow myself
to spend on each kid......and i kept reminding her way before christmas.....and i told her....throw a fit..because you dont get as many gifts as the younger kids(their gifts cost less..so they got several) anyway i told her......one mad fit.......and i am gonna bust that butt.....christmas day or not!
i tell them......if u want complain about a gift...that my hard earned money buys...then u better think really hard before u do it......
cause next time..i can just as easily ..buy you nothing......and they know i stick to what i say..... 27|2|Thanks Lydia. My new husband says the same thing! But I am always afraid of hurting the kids|missy|lovetotrade@hotmail.com|17:57:14|03/12/2010|
and I feel that it is not entirely the kids' faults. Although at their ages, they should certainly have at least acknowledged their gifts. I sent to the NINE of them at Christmas and got NO thanks whatsoever!! 21|1|Missy, so sorry to hear this. I hope it comes back to bite their Mom in the rear end when she is a Grandma/Nana :) |Ranalt|ainebailey@gmail.com|15:54:54|03/12/2010|
The nicest compliment I had about my children was that when they got a gift, it didn't matter if it was $5.00 or $50, their reaction of gratitude was the same for each present.
Life is like a cup of tea,
It's all in how you make it.
Lisa
Check out my DD work:)
http://www.etsy.com/shop/LoveMankind
22|1|I'm sorry Kathryn. :(|maraj|maraj64@hotmail.com|16:23:38|03/12/2010|
That was rather rude & inconsiderate of your daughter to say that to you, & she's certainly not teaching her children very positive lessons when it comes to being appreciative. It's one thing to have different likes & preferences but it's a whole different story when it comes to being so openly rude & unappreciative.
I often wonder what's becoming of the people in this world. There seems to be so much selfishness, greed, rudeness & that oh, so hateful sense of entitlement anymore. Ugh!
It's amazing tho how quickly someone learns to be grateful & appreciate what they had when they no longer have it/get it. ;-p I wouldn't be sending any of them anything more than a greeting card in the future. ;)
We live in the Land of the Free only because of the Brave!
Please identify yourself in 1st email w/name/username. Due to recent problem trades, if I haven't traded w/you before, I will probably require you send your end 1st or I'll need LEGIT trade references/feedback. I will be happy to provide the same. IF you plan to hold your end til you've received mine, I will need to know that IMMEDIATELY, BEFORE trade is finalized.
23|2|HEY J J, SOUND LIKE SOMEONE IN MY FAMILY.....ONE DIL AND 2 (NOT) STEP GRANDSONS UGH, PINATA TIME|JOYHAPPYONE|DAIDOLA5@AOL.COM|16:40:16|03/12/2010|
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"Dear God, this year please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer,
Amen."
35|3|OH AND THAT SOMEONES BDAY IS THE 19TH AND SHE ISN'T EVEN GETTING A CARD ROFL|JOYHAPPYONE|DAIDOLA5@AOL.COM|19:59:08|03/13/2010|
---------------------------------------
"Dear God, this year please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy's computer,
Amen."
24|1|so you have to send presents to people you don't even know?|glennie58|glenn_scott@alumni.ksg.harvard.edu|17:06:31|03/12/2010|
why would these kids expect presents from you? Is your daughter overreacting? (really just asking, I would NOT do this, but I am a much harder person that I used to be). 25|1|Missy, I'm so sorry and your daughter is being rude and disrespectful....|Sharon|s_forshee@hotmail.com|17:43:12|03/12/2010|
First of all, you didn't even have to send anything, yet you still got the rude treatment! When I was growing up (I'm 53), I was taught to respect our elders. When my grandparents or anyone gave me gifts, I always gave hugs/kisses, made a phone call or write a thank you card. Sadly, many kids today are not being taught good manners & respect, so they expect everything on a silver platter. If this happened to me, I would decline to give any more gifts until your children start showing you respect and appreciation. Yes, it hurts, but they need to learn a lesson. Good luck! Sharon:) 28|2|Hey Kathryn....i say make this the last year for gifts|BusterBrown|srfreezerqueen@hotmail.com|19:45:20|03/12/2010|
that way you are fair and they all get...and at Christmas...let em all know they are done...that you can not afford to send them gifts, and will not do so since what you did was so unappreciated....tell em you will be making a donation to a charity of your choice(whether it is a charity, a church, or dinner for you and Ron)...do what you feel appreciated from...having to give to steps that you do not know, is a nice thought..but an unrealistic one...they all need a reality check...Jodie 29|3|Thanks Jodie, I hope I have the guts to do it. But I am afraid to alienate my grandkids even further:(|missy|lovetotrade@hotmail.com|20:23:51|03/12/2010|
IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE BLACKMAIL!!! 30|4|when my rude ungrateful SIL & BIL started I solved the problem right away|petunia1|sweetpea39@comcast.net|20:35:21|03/12/2010|
long story short...they complained BIG time about Christmas presents. we always spent double the amount on the kids (they spent 25 on our kids). this was after my SIL asked what I was getting the kids (already bought it) and said "no" then told me what she wanted. got the pajamas 3 sizes to big like she asked and she still said they were to small....LOL...the kid took a size 7 and she asked for 10s. they wanted them to last !!!
anyway..end of presents!..end of relationship for a long time but I'm soft and we see each other again but no gifts 36|2|Thanks Sharon. Yes it IS a totally different generation than ours was!|missy|lovetotrade@hotmail.com|19:50:41|03/14/2010|
I thank God that I am of an older generation, when we got common courtesy and respect drilled into us. 31|1|SS I could never do that to my parents|kandywolf|kandywolf@gmail.com|11:07:20|03/13/2010|
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32|2|I agree. I could never say such hurtful things to mine either. :(|maraj|maraj64@hotmail.com|11:28:17|03/13/2010|
I seen the hurt on their faces & in their eyes a few times, thanks to some inconsiderate jerk, & OMG! I couldn't stand it. :(
My dad has been gone now a little over 9 yrs. but my son is VERY protective of my mom & my dad both. My son can be a pill to me but I am very grateful that when it comes to my mom or my dad, God help the person who says anything rude or nasty to/about grandma or grandpa. ;)
We live in the Land of the Free only because of the Brave!
Please identify yourself in 1st email w/name/username. Due to recent problem trades, if I haven't traded w/you before, I will probably require you send your end 1st or I'll need LEGIT trade references/feedback. I will be happy to provide the same. IF you plan to hold your end til you've received mine, I will need to know that IMMEDIATELY, BEFORE trade is finalized.
34|3|Hi Maraj: It's wonderful that your son feels that way. You did a wonderful job teaching him to have respect for the older generation.|missy|lovetotrade@hotmail.com|14:03:20|03/13/2010|
I did too, and I would have NEVER tolerated my kids being cruel or heartless to their grandparents. I just can't understand why, as adults, they are not showing what they learned so early in life. I guess they ARE part of the "ME" generation after all!
Have a great week-end!
Kathryn 33|1|I'm sorry Kathryn. I like Jodie's idea. I even tell my inlaws and my parents to NOT buy the |jilda|vze4gj4m@verizon.net|13:03:30|03/13/2010|
kids so much. It's ridiculous. I tell them to instead take them somewhere..spend some special time with them..which they do. But they still buy them gifts. I just hide them and they forget all about them and pull them out when they are bored or it's a rainy day..etc.
I do agree with your daughter that the step kids should be treated like the birth children. That provides a healthier atmospher but then she has to understand you can't afford so much for each present.
37|1|MODS: please remove this post.|missy|lovetotrade@hotmail.com|09:19:18|03/15/2010|
My daughters and I have worked it out. Thanks everyone who responded. I really appreciate it.
Have a great week!
Kathryn