Are my children going to be cheated out of a normal childhood just because I did not let them dress up and knock on doors to beg for candy from strangers? LMAO
So my hubby is driving home from work and his mom called him to beg (one more time) to get the kids Halloween costumes. She also wants us to drive out of state tomorrow night (almost two hours) for her and my FIL to see them dressed up. We have told her OFTEN that we are not educating them about this holiday... I grew up without it and think I turned out okay :) Hubby is with me on this one ... he does not even want them to know about Santa Clause because he had a traumatic event in his childhood and told me while we were dating/engaged that he never wanted to lie to his "future children" about Santa.
Is it possible that his mom is just picking at a reason to work on my nerves today? We have all been ill, all week in fact, and I am on my last nerve right now with that woman!
Anyone else do alternative/Fall stuff instead? Any good ideas for us, like do you have any Non-Halloween traditions? As my boys get older I do want them to have "something" rather than just hearing about trick or treat from friends. We normally go to the Mennonite Church and they do an alternative night but would LOVE ideas for stuff to do at home with the boys instead of jack-o-lanterns etc.
THANKS!
Shel
1|1| I believe the kids will survive :).|petunia1|sweetpea39@comcast.net|20:45:35|10/30/2009|
I taught preschool and on occasion I would have a child in calss that did not celebrate the holidays the was everyone else did. so we did alternate things such as "Happy Fall" "laura's Special day - instead of birthday", etc.. I wuld find crafts that were appropriate and do them with that child. not sure what is available in your area but maybe go apple picking at an orchard that allows you inside then shows how they make cider, etc. Fall nature hunt in the local park, find different types of leaves, etc..then take them home and discover what they are while having cider and muffins or cookies.
you have to do what is right for your family and try not to worry what others think. I had in law issues almost the same as yours and one day I just layed down the law. If they want to see your kids then let them drive 2 hours and do something fun togehter for the day,etc.. stay firmand soonthey will get the message
Happy Fall 2|1|we did trunk & treat at a church tonight that's all we do.. dressing up is even optional|Kristy|mi3zons1@yahoo.com|20:50:42|10/30/2009|
"Women should not have children after 35. Thirty-five children are enough." - anonymous (Only 28 to GO!) 3|2|that's a neat idea ~|petunia1|sweetpea39@comcast.net|21:03:42|10/30/2009|
Kudos to the curch for keeping kids safe
4|1|Hey Shel~*~|RebekkaVA|queen_vulture@msn.com|21:42:24|10/30/2009|
You're not a bad mama girlie. We don't celebrate Halloween either. We got flack from some of our friends and family about it, cause they feel we should, but it's our decision and we know what's right for our family. You follow your heart and do what you think is best for your children. There's plenty of other things to do, Harvest Festivals, picking apples, picking pumpkins (you don't have to carve them, you can open them and roast the seeds and use the pumpkin in recipes), all sorts of things to do, just search online. Hugs, Rebekka
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5|2|Thanks all :) Boys were not well enough for the Fall Fest tonight|couponshelmd|couponshel@comcast.net|22:36:53|10/30/2009|
We didn't go but just because the boys are still under the weather; they really enjoyed it last year. There are no costumes, so that makes it less like Halloween... although they did give out candy and handmade soft pretzels.
I think we will stick with the ideas here, we actually did take them to picks apples (with my dad and his wife) however, they should have weighed the boys before and after because they sure did "taste" a few apples along the way :)
Someone emailed me ... read on this board or another... about having a bonfire and hot dogs/marshmallows with the neighbor kids instead of trick or treat. If this person is on here, can you give me more detail? I love this idea!
Thanks for making me feel better, and it is true, they should be willing to travel the 2 hours but they keep saying they work all day on Saturday. Well, I started a p.t. job as a museum aide on the weekends and they knew I have to work tomorrow (hubby told them) and I THINK they were hoping he would bring them to visit without me. Hubby said they wanted to take the boys around their neighborhood to show them off and he does not like their area so he told me there is no way, no costumes, and because of her attitude, no visit :)
Off to get some rest, thanks for talking me off the ledge girls!!! 6|1|it might|joseph|parkerjoe3@yahoo.com|22:49:29|10/30/2009|
be tough if their friends are dressing up and coming to your house for candy. halloween is to much every year. my kids are grown i always let them dress up and trick or treat but if your against it they will be ok if you explain your reasons. i always like to see the really small kids their so cute 7|2|Good for your husband for standing by you|petunia1|sweetpea39@comcast.net|22:59:51|10/30/2009|
it does sound like they knew you would not be available for the visit. Although, that could be to your advantage :).
It is tough but if you stand together thenthings will work out. your kiddies will be OK, and you are tryingto find alternative thigns to do SO...I would tell the in laws they need to respect your wishes as a family. 8|1|Actually I like the idea of you driving m|Kristy|mi3zons1@yahoo.com|00:04:16|10/31/2009|
To mother in laws house.. or in that area.. It's about forty minutes from me I'll come meet ya and we can go egg her house then my mother in law's together HAHAHAH I'm SO rotten
"Women should not have children after 35. Thirty-five children are enough." - anonymous (Only 28 to GO!) 9|1|My mom used to go christmas shopping...|Kristy|mi3zons1@yahoo.com|00:10:23|10/31/2009|
The stores are empty or quite near it so my mom would take us and we'd start our christmas shopping together as a family. Or last year we went to Matt's sister's house and we had a bonfire, while the kids played flashlight tag
"Women should not have children after 35. Thirty-five children are enough." - anonymous (Only 28 to GO!) 10|2|I am blessed that hubby and I are on the same page :)|couponshelmd|couponshel@comcast.net|01:13:11|10/31/2009|
As this becomes more important all the time with those people. Kristy, I am sooo tempted to go egging with you, just for the heck of it but also to get a few people fired up :) Then you can come here and we can go cow tipping, the crap is almost frozen this time of year!
Our boys are 3 right now, so yes, I do see the point that once they are in school it will be harder; we are rural so we don't get trick or treaters now (I guess that was the inlaws logic that we must bring the boys there?) so it is not an issue to the boys yet.
I am really loving this bonfire idea, now flashlight tag, too... cuz I was thinking those light sticks that glow but flashlights would be more fun! You guys are great :)!!!
PS, we also do not have the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Pixie, just because I didn't have them growing up and Ted is very firm about not lying to the kids about something that we will have to "come clean" down the road. For another example, a dead goldfish... is not being flushed to go live in the ocean with his friends; he told them the goldfish was dead and that if we didn't get rid of it, it would stink up their room... and my son asked "like your socks" so I guess they understood! 11|1|We had our bonfire/party last night|2goatsandadove|dana@otelco.net|10:12:33|10/31/2009|
We enjoy this and do it every year just before Halloween. We also invite only a few close friends - much more fun than with a big crowd - and we keep it outside. We build a big fire before everyone arrives and also get out the grill. We have hotdogs, chips, soft drinks, and brownies or cupcakes for dessert. We cook hotdogs on the grill, but the kids (and some of us adults) can't resist cooking theirs on a stick over an open fire. We set around the fire while we eat and just relax and socialize. After we eat we play 2 games. The first is Pass the Pumpkin. It is played like Hot Potato, only we use a trick-or treat pumpkin filled with goodies. If you are holding the pumpkin when the music stops (either Monster Mash or Purple People Eater), you're out. You then choose a treat from the pumpkin and sit out while the game continues. The last person in the game is the winner and receives as his prize the pumpkin and any goodies left in it. The other game is Wrap the Mummy. Divide into two teams and choose one person from your team to be the mummy. Each team is given a 6 roll pack of toilet paper and at the word "Go," begins wrapping their mummy with the paper. The first team to use all the paper is the winner. Oh - the adults play as well as the children! After the games we go on a hay ride. We hook the tractor to the trailer and drive around the the edge of our fields which are surrounded in woods. Always fun. Years when it is extremely muddy, we drive around our country roads. We've also used the pick up truck and filled the bed of the truck with hay. No matter the method, the kids love it. After the hay ride, we gather around the fire and roast marshmallows and make s'mores. If it's really cold outside, we have hot chocolate. Before going home, the kids each get a can of silly string and have a blast squirting each other. Not up to a party? This year we took our daughter to a cornfield maze - not haunted, scary, nothing like that. Just a huge cornfield with a maze cut through it. We went during the daytime. Actually got lost in it and took us about an hour to find our way out. We also have a Harvest Festival at church. The church rents an inflatable slide and bouncies, we have a cake walk and a few other games, eat pizza, and end the night with trunk-or treat. Costumes are optional and nothing scary allowed. So, we have a very busy Halloween schedule, but steer away from anything that's not what we consider kid friendly and G-rated. 12|2|This sounds like SO much fun! I would love to go to a party like this!|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|10:13:55|10/31/2009|
A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
--Thomas Jefferson--
You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence.
You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves.
~Abraham Lincoln
13|3|Always room for one more!|2goatsandadove|dana@otelco.net|10:25:05|10/31/2009|
** 14|4|I'll start making plans for next year then! LOL :D|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|11:32:51|10/31/2009|
A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
--Thomas Jefferson--
You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence.
You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves.
~Abraham Lincoln
15|5|I LOVE this idea, thanks so much for details!!|couponshelmd|couponshel@comcast.net|11:56:51|10/31/2009|
You are probably the person that my friend was talking about via email... she could not recall which board she saw a post. Thanks so much for the info, this sounds SO much like our type of fun!!! I think the mix of food, Fall stuff and some candy is much more appropriate for our kids than costumes and going out trick or treating.
I am going to steal many of these ideas next year, hope you don't mind! I will make a small card to note my source, ha ha, to give you credit :) I actually copied your post into a Word document and saved to my "Holiday Ideas" file!
Great!!! 16|6|I felt bad as well..... but they survived..lol|pigpin|revels123@msn.com|14:03:50|11/01/2009|
nt 17|1|Our kids went door to door handing tracks and our pastors cd's :-) (shocked alot of people) |CJDJ112366|Lintaos@optonline.net|19:19:54|11/01/2009|
Carol 18|2|my son never like halloween..(M)|kthy26|kthy26@yahoo.com|20:07:52|11/01/2009|
My son is now 14 almost 15 and he has never liked halloween so it was never a HUGE issue at my house but my sons high school this year did the trunk or treat and that was very nice.
at school we dont have a halloween parade we have a character parade..the kids/staff dress as a character out of a book..this year one of teachers was the old women in a shoe and her kids in her class were her kids so that was very cute and then 3 of our teachers were the 3 kittens who lost there mittens
and at holidays in our school we have to be very careful because so many different religions and alot of kids do not celebrate christmas so nothing with santa clause is made maybe something with a snow man or snowflake
hope you enjoyed your halloween 19|3|We did trunk or treating at a local kmart...was great|shelly0418|michelle0418@centurytel.net|21:54:52|11/01/2009|
The radio station, kmart, fire department, police, and local vol. put it on. Kids received alot of
candy. More then they needed. They had hotdogs, chips, and pop for everyone. The local police was
there handing out candy...so very safe and fun.
We never do the house to house. Normally we go to the nursing home. They hand out candy. But with
the flu going around they had to cancell it.
Michelle 22|2|Then we had fun & games at church w/food & snacks|CJDJ112366|Lintaos@optonline.net|21:30:17|11/02/2009|
Carol 20|1|Good parents.. do what is best for their kids, no matter what those around them say....|Quietwaters|Quietwaters39@hotmail.com|19:52:40|11/02/2009|
no Halloween here, no Santa, Easter Bunny or Toothfairy. All four of our kids have said they have no regrets about celebrating the real meaning of Holidays. We do this because of our Christian Faith. We have always done an alternative to Halloween.Our church has what they call a Fall Blow Out, lots of those big blow up things, this year they even had a bungee cord jump. They provide, popcorn, cotton candy, pizza pop ect.
I also grew up in a family, that did not believe in lying to your kids. It is one of the things I think my parents did right. We never got a lot of stuff for Christmas, two presents, and I sure appreciated my parents for giving them to us. I have always wondered how I would have felt if I thought those were from Santa, when others were getting much more than us.
************
Carol