Ok rember me telling you that my DD's biological father was requesting a DNA test. Well we went and had it done and we got a letter from the attorney today and i had to share it with you because i thought it was hilarious!!!!
Dear Jennifer:
Thank you again for taking Rebecca to have a DNA test done on her. As i am sur you know the test are that Mr. xxxxxx is Rebecca's biological father.
My client is stunned. (at this point i burst out laughing) Despite the earlier paternity test, he has heard for years from members of the community that Rebecca was not his child. Now that he knows for sure that she is he would like to begin discussing with you how to enter her life. My client understands that Rebecca is now 15 years old and no longer a child. He also understands that he has missed a lot of years watching her grow up and becoming the person she is today. He is willing to follow your advice on how to enter her life and be a part of it. He does understand however, if you believe she cannont meet him at this time in her life.
Beyond the major obstacle of not knowing his daughter, my client also faces over $40,000 owed in past child support. My client is currently unemployed and does not have the means to even begin paying off this arrearage. My client is proposing tha tyou and he make a fresh start. With your approval and help he would like to begin visitation time with Rebecca. He would also ask that you agree to waive the back child support. (Again Laughter) He would continue paying the child support but would no longer be responsible for the arrearage.
Ok thats the end of the letter so tell me why on earth does that man even think i would consider for one second dropping the back child support he is out of his freaking mind if he thinks that i will!!! I have raised her by myself for 15 years and now that he decides that he wants to be part of her life because he finally has his proof after two DNA test mind you he think i should just forget about the past child support. I dont think so. Maybe i am a little emotional about this well your right i am!! He can Kiss my A@@!!!! And if he is unemployed and cannot afford any of it tell me how on earth he afforded to pay for a $750 DNA test or is paying for this attorney!!! I called his attorney and told her i wanted her to set up a meeting between the two of us. I have a strong feeling that once he finds out that i am not dropping the back childsupport that he will not want want to have anything to do with Rebecca. I think its all about the money. Now i may be wrong and i really hope that i am. I really hope that he does want to meet his daughter after all this time and wants to get to know her. That would be great. but i refuse to drop the back childsupport!!!
Ok im done
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1|1|WOW! i think your right with the whole "not dropping the back child support idea" Thats just absurd! and what happens when you agree |Jacqui_OHIO|swap-a-holic@juno.com|21:50:26|10/07/2009|
to drop it and then he STILL doesn't have anything tod o with her? can his butt go to jail?
sorry but i'm also raising a 12 year old who has never seen (nor him see her) her father before.. and i feel the same way you do.. or atleast most of it lol
i HATE DEADBEAT DADS!
Jacqui_OHIO
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~Happy Trading~ :) 2|1|Another thing that you can remind him AND his attorney of, is that visitation and child support are NOT contingent upon each other.....meaning he can't refuse to pay for all those years he had no contact with her. (Just keep in mind this works both ways....this also means that you cannot forbid him to see her JUST because he owes you child support). Rebecca being 15 means that she can make the decision for herself if she wants him in her life....no judge worth their salt would dispute that she has just reason to decline seeing him after 15 yrs of no contact with him. His attorney must think she's dealing with an idiot to suggest that the back support be dropped.....what a moron.|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|21:51:00|10/07/2009|
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HAWKS PRIDE #31 #57
3|1|i guess attorneys figure "its worth a shot".. |Jacqui_OHIO|swap-a-holic@juno.com|21:52:42|10/07/2009|
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~Happy Trading~ :) 4|2|maybe so, but it makes them look like a$$es, lol|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|21:57:00|10/07/2009|
A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
--Thomas Jefferson--
You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence.
You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves.
~Abraham Lincoln
HAWKS PRIDE #31 #57
5|3|I have no intention of denying him visitation..........|rainj|jmrains@centurytel.net|22:07:46|10/07/2009|
Although it really does depend on Rebecca. It all depends on her. But im pretty sure when i tell him that i will not drop the back child support im pretty sure that he will not want anything to do with her but we will see. Im pretty sure there is more to the story here than what him or his attorney is saying. I mean 15 years have gone by without so much as a word. And its not like he hasnt known all this time that he has been behind on his childsupport so why now??? Why after all these years?? I believe that there is more to the story than they are telling me. What attorney in there right mind would tell a man to go ahead and have another DNA test done after i sent them a copy of the first DNA test. Thats just plain stupid if you ask me. But hey thats just my opinion on the matter. Oh well we will just wait and see how it plays out. Rebecca says that she wants to see him at least once then she will decide after that first time if she wants to see him anymore. But like i said before i really think that once he finds out that i will not drop the back child support he will not want anything to do with her. I hate to think like that but that is just how i feel the man is a low life. At any time in my daughters life he could have contacted us. We were never hard to find he just never wanted anything to do with her i dont care what he says he can use all the excuses he wants to she looks just like him I used to send pictures to his mom and dad once a year every single year with our return address. Really this is what i think. but this is just my opinion i think that he has some sort of settlement or something coming and wants to get out of this back childsupport before that happens because if he cant then where does that money go you guessed it to me. Im going to be looking forward to this face to face meeting with the jerk. I called his attorney and told her im not doing this over the phone or through letters anymore i want a face to face meeting with him or im not doing anything else. So we will see what happens next.
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18|4|Jen, you are probably on to something there....he must be coming into some money soon....and he thought he could play at your heartstrings to drop the back support owed....what a dunce, rofl!|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|11:54:47|10/08/2009|
A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
--Thomas Jefferson--
You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence.
You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves.
~Abraham Lincoln
HAWKS PRIDE #31 #57
6|1|DO NOT AND I REPEAT DOOOO NOT DROP THE child support for any of the money |lydzkydz|lydzmcss@yahoo.com|23:50:51|10/07/2009|
take all you can get
you and your daughter deserve it !!!!
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THANKS!! 7|1|I love it!!! Been there & did that|mo6g02|crazylady47952@yahoo.com|06:47:42|10/08/2009|
These are the type of men that give men a bad name!! I gave up on mine & had my kids adopted, if I had it to do over, I'd let him rot in jail.
Donna
http://www.freewebs.com/mo6g02/
8|1|If he is that far behind in child support how can he get his driver license's renew .Did you get any support from family & children services.They should|greenthumbs|greenthumbs@charter.net|08:10:39|10/08/2009|
have went after him & put this on file with the state when he did go get them renewed.Then they would have put in in jail
or pay up.NO don't drop anything.He will promise you the moon.
9|2|oh he doesnt have his drivers licenses or fishing or hunting license im surprised they havent thrown his sorry butt in jail|rainj|jmrains@centurytel.net|08:23:20|10/08/2009|
My other ex is only $160 behind and they are already threating to throw him in jail yet they let this one get that far behind i just dont understand it. It all goes through Child Support Enforcement so its all documented so it will catch up with him sooner or later im not dropping anything i dont care what he says its just not going to happen. these men have made me um whats the word oh yeah its BITTER!!!! I was going to say a diffrent word but didnt think it was appropriate for the boards, lol. He will get what he deserves in the end thats all im saying.
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10|3|I'm curious..... he never saw her? were you dating? he didn't see you pregnant?|sneakers1234|ross417@msn.com|08:29:37|10/08/2009|
Being married to the same guy for 20 years I may be naive, and find these stories interesting, like how did he not know and see you prego? 11|4|ok story inside.....|rainj|jmrains@centurytel.net|08:44:11|10/08/2009|
Yes technically he has SAW her before, we were living together when i got pregnant i was 16 when my mom kicked me out and moved in with him. Lived with him during the last 2 years of high school graduated high school. Anyway I got pregnant when i was 18 and he was not happy and kicked me out. I ran into him when i was about 4 months pregnant and the only thing he had to say to me was that i was getting fat. So i had her and he came to see her after i got home bought her a few things we took her to his parents house so his parents could see her, his mom said that she did not look like him and that he needed to get a blood test done well he listened to what mommy said even though he was 9 years older than me. So got the DNA test done when she was 6 weeks old came back positve then just like it did now. He still didnt see her after the DNA test back then. We actually got back together for a short period when she was 2 years old. We did it for the wrong reasons i did it because i wanted her to know her dad he did it because he wanted to get out of paying childsupport it didnt even last a month. Of course she was to young to rember any of it. Last time i have even seen or heard from the man was right before she turned 4 years old when i needed him to sign some papers for the insurance that he had on her at the time. I had her in the car with me at the time but do you think he even bothered to go to the car and see her nope he did not care then or ever. After that he never so much as tried to get in contact with us at any time during her life. Up until all of this. So that is the story
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20|3|The CS agencies don't seem to want to toss them in jail if they owe alot cuz it actually becomes more of a burden on taxpayers. |maraj|maraj64@hotmail.com|22:09:04|10/08/2009|
My son's dad owes almost $10,000 in arrearages & it just keeps drawing more interest as time goes on. I've been SOO disgusted w/the CS agency here cuz they've issued warrants for him many times & many times, tossed his sorry arse in jail only to release him the very next day. They don't want these deadbeats in jail for very long cuz like I was told, the taxpayers then end up footing more of the bill for clothing, food & providing shelter to these creeps. A couple yrs. ago I just about went vigilante cuz they again issued a warrant for my son's dad, picked him up & released him after he'd again gone in front of the judge. The judge released him saying he had "other pressing financial obligations". Those "other pressing financial obligations" were actually 2 OWI's & a Driving After Revocation in 2 other counties. I couldn't believe that the judge would actually deem a DAR fine & 2 drunk driving fines MORE of a priority for him to pay than the finanicial obligation to his minor child who was here looooong before those stupid & irresponsibile tickets! Needless to say, I was livid & gave a major a$$ chewing to the CS agent & that's when I was given the story about taxpayer burden. :( The times they did toss him in jail for more than overnight, some fool always bailed him out, which of course covered the arrearages at the time, & then that same fool would end up being out that money cuz the deadbeat never paid any of it back! The deadbeat makes sure he works for cash & doesn't dare file taxes cuz he already owes the IRS about the same amount of money from 1990 & 1991 (including penalties & interest that continue to accrue), but he also knows CS would get it before he got 1¢ of a return. He's never filed Soc. Sec. tax so I wish him luck if he ever reaches retirement age cuz he'll get nada, zip, zilch for Soc. Sec. retirement.
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12|1|Jennifer, a question................|pussecat|pu55ecat@aol.com|08:46:27|10/08/2009|
I know it's none of my business but since you brought this to the board I'm gonna go ahead and ask...............
I know that you have stated several times that your daughter had previously gone through a DNA test to prove she was the daughter of said man, however, in the letter you typed up it states "paternity test" as the 1st test and I'm wondering if the test previously given was indeed a PATERNITY TEST or a DNA test as there are HUGE differences.
I am in TOTAL aggreance (is this even a real word? lol) with you............ do not allow him to get out of his arrearage. If nothing else it can help pay for her college. :)
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14|2|Jackie both were paternity tests...|Kristy|mi3zons1@yahoo.com|08:52:48|10/08/2009|
"Women should not have children after 35. Thirty-five children are enough." - anonymous (Only 28 to GO!) 19|3|Kristy, I was speaking about the OLD paternity tests (M)|pussecat|pu55ecat@aol.com|13:51:35|10/08/2009|
years ago Paternity tests were not based on DNA they were based on Blood type. hth
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15|2|well heck now that i dont know because i thought they were both the same thing.......|rainj|jmrains@centurytel.net|08:54:44|10/08/2009|
Ok after rereading the letter from the attorney it does say the first one was a paternity test but after getting out my original paper work it shows that it was a DNA test as well. So im guessing it was just the way the attorney worded it.
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13|1|OMW if they would just make a tv show based on your life LOL|Kristy|mi3zons1@yahoo.com|08:46:51|10/08/2009|
"Women should not have children after 35. Thirty-five children are enough." - anonymous (Only 28 to GO!) 16|2|heck yeah they should it deffinately would not be boring thats for sure!!!!|rainj|jmrains@centurytel.net|08:55:29|10/08/2009|
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17|1|Sometimes men can be so dumb lol, and think we are as dumb as they are! Good for you girlie for not dropping the $40,000 he owes, gawd my hubby was back $150 and got a letter if he didnt pay within 30 days he was going to be jailed (He was out with knee surgery and we were suing WC)|kandywolf|kandywolf@gmail.com|11:40:04|10/08/2009|
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