We made a huge boo-boo and we left Dash in his old school when we moved. We requested he be transferred back there for this school year and had an appeal before the school board and they allowed him to start this school year at his old school on this past monday. He is in year round. It turns out that although I requested a bus for him they don't allow that AND they put him in track 3 instead of the track he was in, track 1.
So he has a weird breaks at weird times and no bus. The school board says 'no bus' and won't even answer a phone call and his school said there is no room in track 1. I feel super frustrated, it's super hard to get him to school without a bus AND this 'vacation' schedule does not match anyone else's in my family.
I think they have the right to stick to their guns, both the school and the school board but these things work against Dash. He did say he likes his new class (small, 10 girls , 5 boys) Though last year the boys joined together and ridiculed him all year and would hit him when no one was looking which provoked him to hit back (once) and he got caught and I got this HUGE note home about hitting other kids, it made me REALLY CRAZY to get that note, but we did need to address it. I just got the information from him, that he DID NOT LIKE HIS SCHOOL -it takes a while for autistic kids to process and figure out how to say what they want to say and I see it takes him MONTHS lol. He was unhappy but acted happy so that he would not get into trouble with the school or with us - he hates to get into trouble and is generally very timid and very sweet. We tried and tried to get him to stand up for himself, to tell the teacher, or hit back (he said they are just kids and he CAN'T him them, and we keep telling him HE is just a kid but NOOOOOOO)
I am thinking that because of how hard it is to get him there, how often he has sleep trouble and used to get up and go to school tired, and because of the weird schedule it might be better to teach him at home. I filed the notice of intent with the NC Department of Non-Public school (Mailed in today)
and let the office administrators know. I need to let his teacher know next I think, since I bought about $50 worth of 'mandated' school supplies for him or for his class? (I'm not sure why he needs 10 glue sticks, 5 notebooks, 5 liquid glues, folders, 2 boxes pencils, 3 different kinds of markers, 2 more boxes colored pencils, scissors, ziploc, tissues, so I want to let her know. I plan to leave him in until I can get his curriculum together and get the school board letter to take to his school so they don't send a social worker to my house or do they still have truant officers? LOL
The non-school board said he won't need to pass standardized tests if we decide to re-admit him to school but I worry about this, he can't pass a standardized test now, he does not understand 'test' and he has a hard time following directions, comprehending what we want him to comprehend, and answering a direct question in a way we would expect. He can answer something HE has noticed, KWIM? (These kids notice EVERYTHING so it's likely to be something unexpected LOL.)
I started out angry at the school board, and with his school, but the more I think about this the more I see the potential - my son may be too young still due to developmental delays to be in school, and I like his company anyway. I'm smart, I 'get' who he is, he has a lot of trouble sleeping so basically he gets up but goes around in a fog, he is so sweet and wierd that he gets picked on; he is so eager to please that he blames himself for everything (to me he is a kid that is RIPE for being picked on in school because he is not only different but really innocent). And if he stays home we won't have the whole issue of how hard it is to actually get him to school and I won't get those letters saying he is late or absent 10,000 times and we'd better shape up ROFL. They infuriate me, because I know how hard he struggles, how hard he works and they had him late on days I knew that he wasn't (it turned out he doesn't understand late either, he thought that once he was at school he could just wander around and get to his class in his own good time so he would do that LOL). After a year in school they FINALLY told me the way to log him in when he is late which involves me walking him to class but why didn't they say anything for this past year? Due to the wandering he was actually late to class though he got there on time.
I feel frustrated with constantly falling afoul of rules and frustrated teachers (I constantly told his teacher last year about the things he would tell me what he came home) and I could see his stress but I thought it was due to how hard he worked at school (and also every night at home) - I accept that he has to work harder due to his developmental delays and so does he, so we did school work at home at night too especially so he could learn to read and write, it was like when I was in jr. high and took algebra, so frustrating, kwim? But he did it and he was promoted from K to 1st mainstream. I blame myself that he had an unhappy time, tried to communicate it, and nothing changed for him... by the end of the year it was hanging on by the teeth time to get him there, that last week was touch and go, but he did it. I worry we turned him into a mindlessly compliant kid, kwim?
I say all of this to say that I think it might be better to home school him but he cannot participate in any school activities and so will not have any school friends (he didn't last year either so maybe it's a wash?) The school board here tries to discourage home schooling so offers no information, no aid, no allowing the kids to particiate in activities (at least until high school sports, we want those sports champtionships don't we?).
I feel afraid for my son, I don't want him to CONFORM anymore I want him to be socialized which I see as different from the conformity he has been doing, I see conforming as allowing too much harm to come to him. I worry about his never having friends. I worry he is already too close to his mommy lol. But I also think maybe this year at home will help his confidence grow? Maybe I can actually teach him something? Maybe another year at home will help him be more ready for public school (generally the schools in Raleigh are great and his school is one of the NC Schools of Excellence, it's just not excellent for him lol).
Anyone have any good advice?
1|1|glennie I went through all of this w/ Megan|angNC|memawang@embarqmail.com|01:22:16|07/11/2009|
She was bullied all the time. They didn't want her in special ed etc...
It comes down to it costs more to school special needs verses the "normal"
children. I feel for you alot. I can do what the school system was doing for
8 hrs in 3 hours. Plus they were sending home 3 hrs of homework. Email me
about any questions. Hang in there.
2|1|Glennie, I dont have any advice, but I have to tell you what an amazing mom you are.....the thought and consideration you have put into this decision to give Dashi the best opportunities makes your love and devotion to him so evident :) The only thing I can think of is to search for a homeschool association in your area, they can guide you through the ropes of getting everything going at home, educational materials, socialization with other kids who are home schooled, etc....I do know sheilar home schools, she might be able to give you some advice also :) Wishing you and Dashi the best!|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|07:39:01|07/11/2009|
"Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy." 3|1|I echo Joy, Glennie...|sunriver|lithiasalt@cheerful.com|10:49:17|07/11/2009|
I hope you will print out this whole post and keep it so that if you do decide to home school, you can use it to PROVE that you put a lot of thought into it. Maybe that will ease some of the worry that anyone from the school district/state will give you a hard time as well?
I think Dashi is a really lucky kid to have such great parents who love him so much (and you are too!)
Vanessa
4|1|I am wondering if there is a Autism support groupo in your area. Some other moms may be home achooling, as well as, the group may have some information for you, that could help with homeschooling. Wishing you the best of luck.|dlpavitt|dlpavitt@att.net|14:17:16|07/11/2009|
ALways looking for:
daisy sourcream .60/1, or .50/1
McDonald's Big mac Bogo's, or Free's
utz chips, any
hunt's snack pack pudding
eggland's best eggs, .50/1 or better
nabisco off 1
powerade(any)
pepperidge farm goldfish
pepperidge farm cinnamon rasin bread
pepperidge farm cakes
pepperidge farm litestyle bread
thomas's english muffins
Smuckers Orchard Select jam/jellies
skippy peanut butter off 1
jif peanut butter off 1
Kellogg's off 1
General mills off 1
viva papertowels, .75/1
cottonelle, 1.00/1 or .50/1
cottonelle wipes 1.00/1 or better
coolwhip, any
gatorade g2
coupons good on ANY coke product
sprite coupons
mystic pizza coupons
arm and hammer detergent off 1
NBPN rebates good in Ct
WINE TAG's bread, beef, poultry,cheese, deli items
Unused Stamps(small denomination's okay)
Well concealed cash
Free's(that I need)
BOGO's(that I need)
bigelow tea, any
pphf, existing funds please
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Try to get all trades out with in 12 hours of confirmation. If you do not have a board name, and feedback, I will mail my end, only after I receive your end. Happy trading. Thanks for looking, Donna
5|1|Your love for you son is palpable...|mfrs|mfrs.sv.ca@gmail.com|19:34:01|07/11/2009|
wishing you both the best. Sorry I can't help in any other way. 6|1|the laws differ from state to state but in california special needs children have special ed advocates and get bussed for free its thelaw here|crazymomx2|crazymomx3girls@hotmail.com|02:59:43|07/12/2009|
my childes advocate helped me alot from lawas too filloing paperwork,ect teri 7|2|Glennie, did you see the new beanie babies at McDonalds?|marybeth|randall3@aol.com|13:48:19|07/19/2009|
:) 8|3|Thank you ladies! MB I am emailing you LOL; we are waiting still for the notice of intent|glennie58|glenn_scott@alumni.ksg.harvard.edu|20:23:38|07/22/2009|
and in the meantime we had TWO confrontations with his teacher after I wrote a whole page on the "tell me about your child" thing they send home, I filled up the back and the front ROFL.
Open house yesterday - his dad went for me and clarified some more things and monday is an 'open class' thing and I am going. I need to see for myself how he is, since he is such a little 'super-conformist' lol.
His psychologist called me today from school and she strongly recommended that we leave him there since he is doing well (the most well-behaved today, lol but for the last two weeks every other day he had a warning - because his teacher did not know him/autism, but I am trying to make this work for him, grrrrrrrrrr. We do two hours homework but it ssems he understands it now, WOW!!! It just takes time to do, and he is LEFT handed so it's horrible for him, he can barely write and I have NO Idea how to help him except to be patient.
Also they have TWO snacks and he is turning into santa claus and I am really concerned about this, he learned about snacks at school, at home he got no sugar only salty snacks like pretzels and doritos, OMG school gives kids a sugar jones! ROFL
I am calmer now, waiting for the notice of intent I need when we can see which way the ax will fall, and we decided to put him in a social skills group for kids like him, so he can learn appropriate responses to teasing, meanness, and friendship;
and to know when he is seeing these things in the people around him and react appropriately (it makes me wince to see him embracing kids that are mean to him or that clearly do not like him, so this will help him and me a great deal I hope).
Thank you ladies for all of your kind comments, and I am trying real hard not to let my physical issues impact this decision at all, lol. 9|4|One thing...|sunriver|lithiasalt@cheerful.com|20:36:18|07/22/2009|
The schools here will not allow any sugary snacks at all and they have really changed in the last few years. All snacks are fruit/veggies/crackers and things of that nature. Can you maybe get some of the PTA behind you to change that in your area? I bet there are a lot of parents who resent the snacks and would get behind such a thing and change it. I know you are already crazy busy and may not be able to take on another fight, but maybe even just bringing it up with some other parents will be enough to get that idea rolling.
In the meantime I can sympathize. You give our youngest sugar and she just bounces off the walls...