A Norwegian mother writing to her son:
Just a few lines to let you know I’m still alive. I am writing this letter slowly, as I know you can’t read fast. You won’t know the house when you come home, we’ve moved. It was a lot of trouble to move. The most difficult thing was the bed. You see, the man wouldn’t let us take it in the taxi. It wouldn’t have been so bad if your father hadn’t been in it at the time.
About your father, he has a lovely new job. He has 500 people under him. He’s cutting grass at the cemetery.
Your sister got herself engaged to that fellow she’s been going with. He gave her a beautiful ring with 3 stones missing.
Our neighbor started raising pigs. We got the wind of it this morning.
I got my appendix out & a new dishwasher put in. There was a washing machine in the new house when we moved in, but it isn’t working too well. Last week I put 4 shirts in, pulled the chain & I haven’t seen them since.
Your little brother came home from school crying yesterday. All the boys at his school got new suits. We can’t afford to buy him a new suit, but we’re going to buy him a new hat & let him stand at the windows.
Your sister Mary had a baby this morning. I haven’t heard if it’s a boy or a girl, so I can’t tell you if you’re an aunt or an uncle.
Uncle Dick drowned last week in a Dublin Brewery. Four of his work-mates dived in to save him but he fought them off bravely. We cremated his body & it took 4 days to put out the fire.
Kate is now working in a factory for 6 weeks. I’m sending her some clean underwear as she says she’s been in the same shift since she got there.
Your father didn’t have too much to drink at Christmas. I put a bottle of caster oil in his bottle of scotch & it kept him going til New Year’s Day.
I went to the doctor on Thursday & your father went with me. The doctor put a small glass tube in my mouth & told me to be quiet for 3 minutes. Your father offered to buy it.
It only rained twice last week. First for 4 days, then for 3. On Monday it was so windy our chicken laid the same egg 4 times.
We have a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last installment wasn’t paid on your grandma within 7 days, up she comes.
I must close now. The plumber is coming to fix the pipes & there is a shocking smell.
Your loving mother.
P.S. I was going to send you $10.00 but I already sealed the envelope.
Please identify yourself in 1st email. If I haven't traded w/you before, I will require *legit* trade references & will gladly provide the same.
1|1|hilarious guess I know which nationality you are ROFL|glennie58|glenn_scott@alumni.ksg.harvard.edu|18:26:42|04/05/2009|
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