We decided to combine my daughter and son's birthdays for a birthday party. Once in a lifetime thing, a party at the bowling alley, as we're not exactly rich. I told the children they could each invite 12 kids, absolutely no more than that (actually hoping that only about half of them come as you have to pay per person over 10 children). I paid for the bowling alley already.
Well, today the kids took their invitations to school to pass out. I just got home, and here their teachers won't let them pass out invitations unless the ENTIRE class is invited! That's about 50 students total! That's ridiculous! I am so mad I could scream!
I tried calling the school principal, but they're closed for the day. Aaaaahhhhhhhhhh!
lauren 1|1|My boys' grade school had that same rule.....I had to mail the invites when they were younger......|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|17:10:02|02/10/2009|
"Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy." 2|1|that's how it is here also|crenchen|crenchen@aol.com|17:10:45|02/10/2009|
we have a party every year in our back yard as it is big and fenced in and we have a jungle gym and throw out all the balls and bats. In order to invite anyone from the class you have to invite them all as not to hurt anyone's feelings. Sabrina has 21 in her class and only 5 or 6 showed up. One of the parents told me to have her sneak the invitations to the kids she wanted to invite at recess or before and after school. We already have 12 kids every year to invite with just our two neighbors so I am glad only a hand full show up from her class. 3|2|mailing them out works too|crenchen|crenchen@aol.com|17:11:32|02/10/2009|
that is if you can get all of the addy's together. 4|3|Yes that is the rule for most of the school. Avoids hurt feelings. You need to have them hand them out either before or after school or deliver them to them or mail them.|Tracey10|tracey2170@hotmail.com|17:32:55|02/10/2009|
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5|2|Thats how it was when Nick was younger as well |teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|17:46:34|02/10/2009|
>Posted on Feb-10-09 at 05:10 PM (Eastern)
>by 205.188.116.68we have a party every
>year in our back yard as
>it is big and fenced in
>and we have a jungle gym
>and throw out all the balls
>and bats. In order to
>invite anyone from the class you
>have to invite them all as
>not to hurt anyone's feelings.
>Sabrina has 21 in her class
>and only 5 or 6 showed
>up. One of the parents
>told me to have her sneak
>the invitations to the kids she
>wanted to invite at recess or
>before and after school. We
>already have 12 kids every year
>to invite with just our two
>neighbors so I am glad only
>a hand full show up from
>her class.
6|1|When my kids were in school that is how it was too, now I homeschool my daughter~*~|RebekkaVA|queen_vulture@msn.com|17:48:11|02/10/2009|
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7|1|yep, that way here too|ab6333|aimee@accountant.com|17:56:47|02/10/2009|
check out my blog
http://surviving-as-a-single-parent.blogspot.com/
8|2|Mailing them might work for my son, but don't know about my daughter|Beaglesfly|lmllr77@aol.com|09:36:01|02/11/2009|
My children brought home lists of the kid's names for valentines cards....and my sons list has the last names on it, but my daughter's list doesn't. Her teacher is a real stickler too.....I don't know if it's just her personality, or if she has something against me, but she comes across as downright hostile at times.
Going to call the school today.
Thanks for the suggestions everyone. Thanks for your input Kristy; it made me feel a bit better.
lauren
9|1|I like this rule....|Quietwaters|Quietwaters39@hotmail.com|12:33:41|02/13/2009|
we have it too, but you can do all girls or all boys. Kids can be mean, and do things like invite all but one and I think parents are often blind to what is going on.
************
The fact that this policy is not written down anywhere, it's not made known beforehand to the parents.
I went and spent money on this that I can't get back. When I questioned the school about it, they couldn't find any place that it was written down, and they couldn't answer me on why the policy is not made known to parents at the beginning of the school year or something.
In addition, although I do kind of understand the rule, disappointments at not being included are a part of life to some degree. My son has a difficult time making friends because of his ADHD & impulse control so I know what it's like to feel bad for your child because they are excluded. I don't like to see my son disappointed when children make fun of him, so I can understand other parent's not wanting their children to feel excluded. But by the same token, you can't shield them from everything.
But really, I wouldn't have had nearly as much a problem with the whole rule, I would just abide by it rather than make waves, IF they had let us know beforehand. $100 is A LOT of money for me to just "throw away".
lauren 11|3|Big thanks to Kristy, btw, for helping me find a way around this|Beaglesfly|lmllr77@aol.com|12:47:13|02/13/2009|
Thanks Kristy!
lauren 12|4|why was the money "thrown away" ?? just get the addresses of the kids u like and invite them|sneakers1234|ross417@msn.com|13:45:07|02/13/2009|
not really that hard, we do it all the time, the pto puts out a directory and we mail them. 13|5|how do I get the last names? the school refused to give them to me......|Beaglesfly|lmllr77@aol.com|14:27:31|02/13/2009|
When I called the school to talk to them about it, they said it was also against policy to give me the names....so I'm not sure how else to have gotten them (my son could, if he had time, get the children's last names and write them down, but my daughter is in K and doesn't know how to write yet).
We ended up standing outside after school and handing them out, so it worked out.....but if someone hadn't suggested that to me, I probably wouldn't have thought of it in time.
14|6|we have a directory, the PTO uses it as a fundraiser|sneakers1234|ross417@msn.com|15:14:02|02/13/2009|
and sells it for $5.
Don't you know the names of your kid's friends? We know all the friends of DS8 from preschool, scouts, etc. I would just look them in the phonebook if I didn't have a directory.
Maybe your PTO could do that type of fundraiser, anyone that wants to opt out can. 15|7|Maybe the way she did it was good enough It worked and that is what matters|teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|15:31:20|02/13/2009|
>Posted on Feb-13-09 at 03:14 PM (Eastern)
>by 205.203.128.142and sells it for $5.
>
>Don't you know the names of your
>kid's friends? We know all the
>friends of DS8 from preschool, scouts,
>etc. I would just look them
>in the phonebook if I didn't
>have a directory.
>Maybe your PTO could do that type
>of fundraiser, anyone that wants to
>opt out can.
16|7|do you have a problem with me sneakers?|Beaglesfly|lmllr77@aol.com|16:31:47|02/13/2009|
I came here to vent because I was taken by surprise by the school's policy and I was frustrated. It was an initial reaction.
Your posts, however, are bordering on rude. Maybe you were trying to be helpful, but the tone that comes across to me is anything but....it seems almost condescending.
This post is from several days ago, I didn't bump it up, someone else did. The problem has been solved, but thank you anyway for your suggestions.
lauren 17|1| lauren we invited dash's class last year and NO ONE showed up lol|glennie58|glenn_scott@alumni.ksg.harvard.edu|17:42:38|02/13/2009|
I think this happens a lot, only 4 said they would come (chuck e cheese he really wanted this) but no one did 18|2|we found out that you have to hand out all kids invites also starting with kendall in his younger days |lydzkydz|lydzmcss@yahoo.com|18:30:47|02/13/2009|
it was a good idea to stand out side and hand them out
good idea!!
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THANKS!! 19|1|and as for KNOWING my kids FRIENDS i don't even know all my kids friends so that is just something that not every parent knows |lydzkydz|lydzmcss@yahoo.com|18:31:59|02/13/2009|
i can see why that post upset Lauren it would have gotten me too
hope you all have a good birthday party
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THANKS!! 20|2|aw glennie, i'm wondering if that will happen too|Beaglesfly|lmllr77@aol.com|19:30:31|02/13/2009|
I know some of sariah's friends will come, but just don't know about elijah. He's told me a couple of times that the other children find him "annoying" because he chatters on so much. On the other hand, I couldn't run the risk of inviting 50 kids and on some fluke 20 of them show up, kwim? After the first ten children, you have to pay per child.
And thanks Lydia!
Lauren