My step-daughter and step-son each lost $50 cash that they received for X'mas from their grandmother. I learned yesterday evening that they had it when they came for visitation on C'mas day and only realized it was gone when they packed up and went home down the street on the evening of 1/1.
The WORST part?!? They so much as came right out and said that my son (16) stole it!! I do not believe he did---he had his own c'mas money in addition to C'mas gifts he received, and my ex is very generous so would have given him more $ if he'd asked. I *thought* we had this all settled last night, when they came back over here to go through their rooms one more time and look for the missing money. Ron & I asked them several questions about when they each last remember having their money, etc., and neither could answer with any certainty. I stated that this is not something that can ever be proven one way or the other and that I did not believe my son would steal from anyone!!
This morning Ron brought the topic up again and went so far as to say that BOTH of my boys (20 and 16) as well as my ex (who was here from out of state, visiting my younger son who lives with me), MYSELF & my nephew and his wife were all "suspects"?!!? I was and am STILL livid. We argued most of the day as I cannot believe my own husband would even THINK along these lines....WHERE is his TRUST in me and his step-kids?! Obviously not there.
Just needed to vent. I'm still fuming about this and it's midnight here. He's snoring away and i cannot sleep.
Shelly 1|1|Geez Shelly...sounds like a bad situation...(m)|cathy|coggle@hotmail.com|00:24:41|01/04/2009|
I'm wondering does your dh realize he is a suspect as well....seems only fair to me : )
I hope the money turns up (if it was lost) and I hope dh can be a little more nuetral
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thanks, Cathy
4|2|Good point, Cathy....why should he get so say who is suspect and not include himself? Shelly, Ron needs to take a step back and remember kids lose things all the time...and I think Cathie might have some valid ideas given the rocky relationship the daughter has with you....|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|08:47:36|01/04/2009|
"Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy." 2|1|Did Ron check his ex wife's purse? There's a thought eh? Maybe their mama has the money....Sorry to hear that Ron accused any of you (((HUGS)))~*~|RebekkaVA|queen_vulture@msn.com|00:43:01|01/04/2009|
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3|1|Here's a thought, and just reflecting back to the horrid treatment I received|Mackiesmudder|Mackiesmudder@aol.com|01:50:25|01/04/2009|
from my DH's daughters when we were first married--Could the money actually NOT be missing? I think I remember you saying the boy is very sweet,could maybe his sister have both of theirs? I feel so badly saying this, just a thought. MY DH's daughters were awful to me, they would lie and say they called and I wouldn't let him come to the phone, etc. Was really nasty for awhile, they eventually stopped when his son's who were so very nice to me and gave me a chance told them to cut it out. All is good now for me. I am so sorry to even suggest such a thing but little "women" can be vicious and dangerous when they feel their territory is being invaded.
Cathie
5|2|I'm with Cathie considering what you have posted here in the past i wouldn't put it past them to still have the money and just trying to get|teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|10:07:24|01/04/2009|
your sons in trouble No matter what sorry that this stuff is going on 6|1|Shelly...|sunriver|lithiasalt@cheerful.com|12:18:03|01/04/2009|
I'm sad for you because of the bigger issue here which you already spelled out. His lack of trust for you. Good, healthy relationships are built on trust and I know that for some that is something that does not happen overnight, but it grows. I think you have to take a good hard look at things and ask yourself if this is an area that has gotten better, or is it worse than say a year ago?
I know you said you've already talked to him before, but I think he needs to hear it again. He has to decide to put you first, before everything else. That is how good solid marriages are built. I'm sending you a hug today, because I know you are probably still really hurting. Hang in there! Vanessa 7|2|Yeah, tried talking.....|shelly|shellysue49@gmail.com|12:53:40|01/04/2009|
...he ignored me all morning, then I came back from running errands and he asked me why I seemed like I wasn't speaking to him. I tried to broach the subject again and he got angry and said i just need to "get over it", and that he doesn't want to discuss it again.
I said I am hurt that he even THOUGHT someone in my family, including myself would take something that didn't belong to them and that I'd like an apology. He just stood there, mute, and then took off a few minutes ago in his car?~!
I've got a lot of thinking to do......Thanks for letting me vent here, you guys are always there for me!!
Shelly 8|3|HUGSSS sorry things are going all wrong for you hope things will work out |lydzkydz|lydzmcss@yahoo.com|12:57:34|01/04/2009|
HUGSSSSSS
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THANKS!! 9|3|Does Ron not consider this thought: that you and he are arguing and have a rift between now because someone would WANT it that way? For example, maybe the money isnt gone at all, but by saying so, that gets Ron to 'stick up' for his kids and accuse others in the same situation...I'm just sayin'|saint6811|waylan@comcast.net|14:00:02|01/04/2009|
"Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy." 10|4|Joy, i pointed that out....|shelly|shellysue49@gmail.com|14:30:07|01/04/2009|
...I did tell him this morning that there are several scenarios.....one being that his daughter set this up, and yes, I said it in no uncertain terms. I told him she's caused a lot of grief for me, and how do I know that she wouldn't stoop to ANY level to cause a rift between he & I.
He nodded...not sure he *really* believes his daughter capable of such manipulation, but at least he knows that *I* have wondered.
He's not speaking to me today...busying himself out in the garage. Tomorrow he goes back to work. Nothing ever gets solved around here, given the way he "operates".
Shelly