I AM SO UPSET, MY HEART IS RIPPED APART :( MY OLDEST SON MOVED TO NEW JERSEY WITH MY SISTER FOR ALITTLE WHILE TO TRY AND GET HIS HEAD STRAIGHT CAUSE HE COULDNT FIND A JOB HERE AND WAS HAVING PROBLEMS WITH FRIENDS AND ALL AND WAS FIGHTING WITH EVERYONE HERE AND FELT A BREAK AWAY WILL DO HIM SOME GOOD. IT WAS JUST GONNA BE A TEMPORARY THING MAYBE FOR A MONTH OR TWO. WELL I WAS GOING CRAZY WITH HIM GONE CAUSE I LOVE MY KIDS AND CANT STAND TO BE AWAY FROM THEM. I WANTED HIM HOME BUT AT SAME TIME KNEW HE NEEDED THIS.I CALLED ALMOST EVERYDAY AND SENT STUFF THROUGH THE MAIL TO HIM BUT IT WASNT THE SAME IT WAS KILLIN ME.WELL MY SONS BEEN THROUGH ALOT IN LIFE WITH HIS REAL DAD, HIS STEP DAD AND EVEN MY BROTHER AS WELL AS OTHER PROBLEMS HE HAS BEEN THROUGH IN LIFE.I HAVE TRIED TO BE THERE FOR MY SON AS MUCH AS I CAN ALL I WANT IS FOR HIM TO BE HAPPY AND HAVE A NORMAL LIFE. HE HAS BEEN SO DEPRESSED FOR SO LONG IT HAS BEEN TEARING ME APART, ALL I WANT TO DO IS TAKE AWAY ALL HIS TROUBLES AND MAKE HIS LIFE RIGHT LIKE ANY MOM WOULD. I THOUGHT MAYBE HIM GETTING UP WITH HIS REAL DAD MIGHT HELP HIM FIGURE HIS LIFE OUT CAUSE HE HAS SO MANY QUESTIONS AND SO MUCH HURT AND ANGER ABOUT HIS REAL DAD I FELT IT MIGHT HELP HIM MOVE ON IF HE COULD TALK TO HIM OR SEE HIM ESPECIALLY WHILE HE WAS IN JERSEY CAUSE HE LIVES CLOSER TO HIS DAD THERE THEN HE DID WHEN HE WAS IN MISSOURI WITH ME. I THOUGHT MAYBE AFTER ALL THESE YEARS HIS DAD GREW UP AND CHANGED THAT MAYBE HE WOULD DO RIGHT BY HIM NOW AND MAKE UP FOR THE PAST. WELL I GOT UP WITH A FRIEND OF HIS FAMILY AND TOLD THEM IF THEY COULD GET HIS DADS NUMBER CALL MATT AND GIVE IT TO HIM, WELL THEY DID AND MY SON CALLED AND TALKED TO HIS DAD ONE DAY AND THEN UP AND PACKED HIS STUFF AD MOVED DOWN THERE. I THOUGHT THAT WAS FAST AFTER NOT SEEING HIM IN OVER 14 YEARS BUT AS MUCH AS IT HURT I SUPPORTED HIS DECISION AND PRAYED IT WOULD ALL WORK OUT FOR HIM. WELL WHERE I WAS TRYING TO DO A GOOD THING IT BACKFIRED IN MY FACE. INSTEAD OF MY EX TELLING MY SON THE TRUTH OF WHAT HAPPENED OR JUST NOT GETTING INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP AT ALL AND JUST FOCUSING ON STARTING OVER FRESH WITH OUR SON, HIM AND HIS NO GOOD FAMILY FILLED MY SONS HEAD WITH SO MANY LIES AND HAS TURNED MY SON AGAINST ME. INSTEAD OF TELLING MY SON HE WAS SORRY HE MADE MISTAKES AND CANT EXPLAIN WHY HE LIED AND TURNED IT ALL AROUND ON ME AND HIS FAMILY BACKED HIM UP AND LIED WITH HIM. NOW MY SON WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME WONT GIVE ME A PHONE NUMBER OR ADDRESS OR ANYTHING TO GET UP WITH HIM, HE THINKS I LIED TO HIM ALL THESE YEARS AND KEPT HIS DAD FROM HIM WHICH ISNT TRUE.MY EX AND HIS FAMILY HURT ME SO BAD IN THE PAST AND NOW ALL THESE YEARS LATER THEY ARE HURTING ME FOR THE WRONG THEY DID. I HAVE BEEN THERE FOR MY SON ALL HIS LIFE AND DID EVERYTHING FOR MY SON, DID THE BEST I COULD. HIS FATHER IS THE ONE THAT WALKED OUT OF HIS LIFE AND DIDNT CARE.HIS FATHER TOLD ME TO LEAVE CAUSE HE WAS CHEATING ON ME AND I WAS IN THE WAY HE COULDNT GET ME OUT OF THERE QUICK ENOUGH. HIS FAMILY KNEW HE WAS CHEATING AND NEVER SAID NOTHING. WHEN I LEFT HE ACTED LIKE HE WANTED NO PARTS OF ME OR MY SON, I MOVED BACK TO N.J. WITH FAMILY. HE CALLED A FEW TIMES TO ASK ABOUT MY SON MAYBE A HANDFUL AND NEVER CAME TO SEE HIM. WHEN I MOVED TO VA HE CAME TO SEE HIM 3-4 TIMES THE REST WERE NO SHOWS HE WAS MORE WORRIED ABOUT HIS WOMAN AND HIMSELF.THE LAST STRAW WAS WHEN HE HAD A WEEKEND PLANNED WITH MY SON I TOOK HIM THERE TO DROP HIM OFF AND THE NEIGHBORS SAID HE UP AND MOVED AWAY, HE NEVER TOLD US ANYTHING. I TRIED AND TRIED STILL THROUGH THE YEARS TO GET THEM TOGETHER BUT HIS DAD REMARRIED AND MOVED SO MUCH I COULDNT KEEP TRACK OF HIM BUT ALSO HIS DAD DIDNT WANT US TO KNOW HE KEPT HIS INFO UNPUBLISHED. I WOULD GET UP WITH HIS FAMILY ASKING ABOUT HIM AND SUPPOSEBLY NO ONE KNEW NOTHING. FINALLY I GOT TIRED OF HIM HURTING MY SON AND LISTENIN TO HIM COMPLAIN ABOUT MONEY SO I GOT A LAWYER AND HAD PAPERS DRAWN UP AND MY EX SIGNED HIS TOTAL RIGHTS TO MY SON AWAY. I WAS LIKE WHEN HE GROWS UP AND WANTS TO BE A MAN HE CAN COME LOOKING FOR HIS SON OR WHEN MY SON GETS OLDER AND WANTS TO FIND HIS DAD HE CAN, IN THE MEANTIME I WAS TIRED OF THE WAY HE WAS DOING OUR SON.HE KNEW ALL ALONG HOW TO GET UP WITH US BUT I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO GET UP WITH HIM. WELL IT KILLS ME AFTER ALL THESE YEARS HES GONNA COME ACROSS LIKE SUPERDAD AND SAVE THE DAY WHEN HE HASNT BEEN THERE IN OVER 14 YEARS AND I HAVE BEEN THERE ALL THESE YEARS FOR MY SON AND TURN AROUND AND DESTROY MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY SON. I AM SO DEVASTATED OVER THIS I CANT SLEEP, EAT OR THINK STRAIGHT ALL I DO IS CRY. I AM HURT THAT MY SON WOULD BELIEVE HIS DADS LIES AND TURN ON ME TOO. I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT LOVE MY SON AND BEEN THERE FOR HIM ALWAYS WHEN HE DAD WASNT. I HAD TO BE 2 PARENTS ALL THESE YEARS. HIS FAMILY NEVER CALLED OR SENT A CARD ALL THESE YEARS TO SHOW THEY CARED FOR MY SON AND HIS DAD NEVER SENT ANYTHING THROUGH THE YEARS EITHER EXCEPT FOR 2 CARDS. THE ONE MY SON RIPPED UP AND THE OTHER HE KEPT. I AM HIS MOTHER I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO HIM AND GET AHOLD OF HIM, AND THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO KEEP MY SON FROM ME OR FILL HIS HEAD WITH LIES. THEY ARE SO GUILTY AND CANT STAND THEMSELVES FOR ALL THE WRONG THEY HAVE DONE THEY CANT TELL MY SON THE TRUTH CAUSE THEY KNOW HE WILL WALK BACK OUT OF THEIR LIVES, SO TO MAKE THEMSELVES LOOK GOOD THEY ARE MAKING ME OUT TO BE THE BAD GUY AND THIS IS KILLING ME :( I LOVE MY SON SO MUCH AND MISS HIM AND THE THOUGHT OF NEVER SEEING HIM OR TALKING TO HIM AGAIN KILLS ME, I CANT LIVE WITH THAT. THESE PEOPLE ARE EVIL I THOUGHT FOR MY SONS SAKE THEY CHANGED BUT THEY DIDNT. I WANT MY SON TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS DAD ALWAYS DID BUT NOT DESTROY ME TO GET IT. IF HIS DAD WAS A MAN HE WOLD TELL OUR SON THE TRUTH AND NOT DESTROY WHAT MY SON AND I HAVE. I AM GOING CRAZY AND DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO :( 1|1|i am so sorry|tarasdream|jumpwoman23@hotmail.com |03:51:17|12/01/2008|
i know what you are going thru, and there are no easy answers. i dont know how old your son is but my guess he is not stupid he will figure it out on his own, my daughter went thru the feelings about being rejected by her dad and when she did see him she was all over him. but in time she figured out what kind of a person he really is. she hates him so much and doesnt want anything to do with him. the only thing you can do is pray that your son will see his dad for what he really is. it may take time but im sure his father hasnt changed and the truth will come out. i know its hard but theres not much else you can do but be there for your son when he decides to come home. 2|2|IT JUST KILLS ME CAUSE I AM SO USE TO TALKING TO MY SON|INTRIGEDBYU2|intrigedbyu21967@yahoo.com |14:02:01|12/01/2008|
EVERYDAY AND HIM BEING WITH ME, THE THOUGHT OF NEVER HEARING FROM HIM AGAIN KILLS ME. I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE CAN BE SO CRUEL, INSTEAD OF BEING THANKFUL I HELPED GET THEM TOGETHER AFTER ALL THESE YEARS THEY STABBED ME IN THE BACK. THEY STILL WOULDNT SEE MY SON TODAY IF I DIDNT DO THIS, I HAVE TRIED ALL THESE YEARS NOT THEM. I AM NOT LOOKING FOR CREDIT FOR DOING THIS I AM JUST MAKING A POINT IF I DIDNT CARE OR IF I HAD SOMETHING TO HIDE I WOULD HAVE NEVER HELPED THIS. (MY SON IS 18 HIS DAD WALKED OUT OF HIS LIFE 18 DAYS BEFORE HIS 2ND BIRTHDAY ) THEY ARE THE GUILTY ONES THEY DIDNT CARE, I DID AND NOW TO GET THE HEAT OFF THEM THEY THREW IT ALL ON ME. THE MATURE THING TO DO EVEN IF THEY DIDNT HAVE THE GUTS TO TELL THE TRUTH WAS TO JUST SAY THEY MADE MISTAKES THEY ARE SORRY AND START OVER FRESH AND LIVE FROM TODAY ON. THIS WAY HE COULD HAVE A LIFE WITH THEM AS WELL AS ME AND THE REST OF HIS FAMILY HERE. BUT NO THEY HAD TO FILL HIS HEAD WITH LIES AND MESS THE POOR BOY UP WORSE THEN HE IS AND NOW HE IS WORSE THEN HE WAS AND NOW HE HAS TURNED ON ME BECAUSE OF THEM. THROUGH THE YEARS I DIDNT TALK CRAP ON HIS DAD WHEN MY SON ASKED I JUST TOLD HIM THINGS HAPPENED I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHY WHICH WAS THE TRUTH I WANTED HIM TO FORM HIS OWN OPINION OF HIS DAD NOT ONE FROM ME CAUSE I WAS HURT. WHEN MY SON WANTED TO TALK ABOUT HIS DAD I LISTENED AND TALKED BUT TRIED NOT TO BE NEGATIVE. MY SON DIDNT TALK ABOUT HIS DAD MUCH. I DIDNT BASH HIS DAD OR GO ON AND ON I FIGURED HIS DAD COULD ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS FOR HIM WHEN HE GOT OLDER, FIGURED HIS DAD OWED HIM THAT MUCH. BUT INSTEAD OF DOING RIGHT BY OUR SON HE SCREWED HIM OVER LIKE THE PAST AND COULDNT BE A MAN AND HAD TO PUT THE BLAME ELSEWHERE LIKE HE HAS ALWAYS DONE. I LOVE MY SON AND MISS HIM SO MUCH IT KILLS ME. I WANT MY SON TO KNOW THE TRUTH THAT I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HONEST I HAVE JOURNALS I KEPT TO PROVE WHATS HAPPENED AND I HAVE PAPERS WHERE HIS DAD SIGNED HIS RIGHTS AWAY. I WANT PEACE IN MY SONS LIFE AND FOR HIM TO KNOW I WOULD NEVER DO HIM WRONG THAT I WOULD EVEN TAKE A LIE DETECTOR TEST TO PROVE MYSELF THATS HOW MUCH MY SON MEANS TO ME AND HIM KNOWING THE TRUTH MEANS TO ME. I CANT REST UNTIL MY SON KNOWS I DID DO RIGHT BY HIM AND I ALWAYS WILL BE HERE FOR HIM NO MATTER WHAT NO ONE OR NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE THAT!!! 3|3|He's an adult- you raised him well|sneakers1234|ross417@msn.com|14:43:47|12/01/2008|
You will hear from him, don't get all in a tizzy. you can't live your life dependent on your child, anyway. Go to the library, get some books, volunteer someplace get your mind off it.
Sounds like you raised him well and he will see what has happened and call you. Just give it time. If you obsess with him (like you've done here) he will push you away. Give it time, he's an adult but still like a teenager. 4|4|I APPRECIATE YOU ALL LISTENING..|INTRIGEDBYU2|intrigedbyu21967@yahoo.com |15:49:44|12/01/2008|
IT MEANS ALOT TO ME. I DONT WANT TO PUSH HIM AWAY JUST WANT HIM TO KNOW THE TRUTH AND THAT I AM HERE FOR HIM. MY KIDS ARE MY LIFE THEY MEAN THE WORLD TO ME. I UNDERSTAND THEY WILL GROW UP AND MOVE OUT AND HAVE THEIR OWN LIFES AND I CAN DEAL WITH THAT. WHAT I CANT DEAL WITH IS NEVER SEEING OR HEARING FROM MY CHILDREN AGAIN.AND THE FACT I AM BEING RIPPED APART WHEN I HAVE ALWAYS TRIED TO DO RIGHT BY MY CHILD. ITS NOT RIGHT TO DESTROY MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM JUST CAUSE HIS DAD MADE MISTAKES AND ISNT MAN ENOUGH TO STEP UP. I LOVE MY CHILDREN AND WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR THEM NO MATTER WHAT. I DID RAISE MY KIDS RIGHT AND I PRAY HE DOES WAKE UP AND REALIZE THE TRUTH AND WHEN HE DOES I WILL BE THERE LIKE I ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL AND IT WILL BE THE SAME WITH MY OTHER TWO KIDS. THANKS FOR LISTENING.
HUGGS,
BETTY
5|1|(((BETTY))))~*~|RebekkaVA|queen_vulture@msn.com|15:59:09|12/01/2008|
I am so sorry you are going through this with you son. He was raised by you and he's an adult know and he should realize the truth. It's hard when our children go through difficulties in life, but all we can do is stand by them and be there when they are ready to talk. Just keep the faith. My prayers are with you. Hugs, Rebekka
~*~REBEKKA~*~
a.k.a. "Queen Vulture"
Married to my Soul Mate William
"My husband has cancer, Please pray for him"
Mommy to:
Timothy 5/80
Matthew 10/92
Cheyenne 9/99
*EMAIL*: queen_vulture@msn.com
6|2|THANKS REBEKKA FOR CARING...|INTRIGEDBYU2|intrigedbyu21967@yahoo.com |16:36:05|12/01/2008|
I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR SAYING AND YES IT DOES HURT, JUST PRAY HE FINDS HIS WAY AND COMES AROUND SOON. JUST WANT TO BE THERE FOR HIM I LOVE MY KIDS SO MUCH. HOPE YOUR DOING GOOD HUN MISS TALKING TO YOU. TAKE CARE.
HUGGS,
BETTY
7|3|Betty~*~|RebekkaVA|queen_vulture@msn.com|16:38:32|12/01/2008|
No need to Thank me, that's what friends are here for, to help each other out. I kinda know how you feel, my 16 year old lives with his dad now, it was the hardest decision I had to make, but it seems to be working out well. I do miss him alot, but don't miss all the problems. Thankfully now that we moved to Virginia, we can see him more often since he lives in VA too. I really hope your son sees the light, just keep praying, GOD is good and he will get you through it all. Hugs, Rebekka
~*~REBEKKA~*~
a.k.a. "Queen Vulture"
Married to my Soul Mate William
"My husband has cancer, Please pray for him"
Mommy to:
Timothy 5/80
Matthew 10/92
Cheyenne 9/99
*EMAIL*: queen_vulture@msn.com
8|1|I am so sorry no mom should be hurt like this. Your son will find the truth and come back. Prayers being said for both of you.|nancygal|brennansnanna@hotmail.com|19:59:21|12/01/2008|
nancygal 9|1|Betty, So sorry that you are hurting. I think if things are as you say, your son will soon find that out that things didn't happen as he was told. Lies unravel.|Ranalt|ainebailey@gmail.com|22:50:00|12/01/2008|
Life is like a cup of tea,
It's all in how you make it.
Lisa