6 0|0|School dilemma...what would you do?|aloha2u|alohamillion@yahoo.com|10:37:55|11/13/2008|
Posted on Nov-13-08 at 10:37 AM (Eastern) by 67.212.108.17

My son attended a wonderful Christian school up until this school year. We could not have asked for better staff, teachers, academics. However, the parents were extremely 'snooty' and clickish and honestly, I did not want my kids to get a complex about me not fulfilling the materialistic status quo (nor did I want them to get the idea that material items made someone better than someone else, or get a case of the "gimmee, gimMEeeesss", etc.)

So we switched schools to one that we thought would be a better fit for us. It is affiliated with a university, so we assumed correctly that there would be a huge diversity of kids and families(there is and we love it). The parents and kids are wonderful...very welcoming and friendly- just a close knit group of people who you just feel comfortable with right away. However, the academics are wayyyyyyyyy off. Comparing my son with most of the boys in his class- they are doing what he did in about first grade in his accelerated class. He is in third grade now.

My son is very bright and was at the top of his accelerated class in the Christian school. The academics at the local school are far behind what was taught to him at his old school, and they do not have accelerated classes. I have bought school textbooks that our Christian school uses so he does homework once home from school. So far, so good. However, I am wondering if I am doing the right thing.

What is more important, academics or social?

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Stacey 1|1|Why not ask to have him tested to skip a grade?|bluh2oeyes|bluh2oeyes@yahoo.com|10:48:46|11/13/2008|

Posted on Nov-13-08 at 10:48 AM (Eastern) by 74.242.247.98

If you (parents) and he both think he may benefit from testing to skip a grade then why not ask the school if that is possible?

Sounds like he is ready if he is that far ahead in his academics but he has to also be ready for in maturity, if not then the change may not be a successful one. Be sure if you do ask for testing and if it does happen that he is ready in all ways because his friends in the classroom will change too.

Good luck with your decision.

Jennifer in North Carolina...the Tar Heel State
2|1|Already you are homeschooling--why not do it officially?|sheliar|sandk95@embarqmail.com|11:10:24|11/13/2008|

Posted on Nov-13-08 at 11:10 AM (Eastern) by 71.50.160.108

I had this same exact issue--my kids were bright and ahead, so were sat over on the side and not challenged with anything while the teacher tried to catch up all the lower-level students. My kids didn't learn anything, and were bored to tears. I found myself pushing for more at school, then giving them "assignments" on my own to turn into their teacher to show they could do harder work. Additionally, our TAG (talented & gifted) program here only served them 1 time per week for 45 minutes, so they weren't getting much there, either.

I used to teach middle school myself, and realized that I was basically doing the teaching, and my kids were just going to school to socialize. After doing much research about homeschooling and remembering my own experiences teaching, I realized that most teachers spend very little time with each student, and very little time in actually "teaching". You may say "Surely not! My kid is there for 7 hours a day!" Take out lunch, recess, time for bathroom breaks and water, time for snack, time for the teacher to get the class' attention, time for her to deal with a problem, time for her to deal with fundraisers, etc. and you see that a lot of time at school is not devoted to learning but to classroom management. I actually found one website by a teacher-turned-homeschooler who had timed her last year of teaching to find to her horror that, on average, only about 1 and 1/2 hours per day was actual teaching. You are already homeschooling if you help your kids with homework, give them extra assignments, etc. That's what teaching is, and therefore that's what homeschooling is!

So, this year we are homeschooling. We no longer have to stress out about getting up early to make it to school "on time", and school is done in about 2 hours per day. My son who is technically in 4th grade, and my daughter who is technically in 2nd, will both be done with their math books by Christmas and move on to the next grade level. That's the beauty of homeschooling--you can work at your child's level and pace.

If you'd like more information, I'd be glad to answer questions.
Shelia

"They say that we are better educated than our parents' generation. What they mean is that we go to school longer. They are not the same thing."---Douglas Yates 3|1|I would...|sunriver|lithiasalt@cheerful.com|11:16:33|11/13/2008|

Posted on Nov-13-08 at 11:16 AM (Eastern) by 67.1.40.140

Just keep him where he is and keep giving him other opportunities to learn at home. Watch and see what happens. My oldest was like that in the younger grades and what would happen is she would learn something (many times it was something she had already learned at home) and she would take things a step further and wind up helping the teacher by teaching another student.

She loves school and is now an AP freshman in High School.

I would just wait, watch and see what happens. 4|1|just imho school is important for socialization and for learning|glennie58|glenn_scott@alumni.ksg.harvard.edu|09:30:54|11/14/2008|

Posted on Nov-14-08 at 09:30 AM (Eastern) by 98.26.54.77

kids learn in a lot of ways including academically... my son is autistic, but not stupid, he is very bright...

so at home we work on what he needs help with like reading and comprehension, sadly, each kid does not get a lot of time reading at school and he loves it... he cries when he doesn't get called on (he is in K lol)

It's important for kids to fit in (socialization) whether you have him tested and advanced a grade or not. As kids get older this becomes more and more important, especially for kids that are younger and less emotionally or physically developed than other kids in their class. As parents we have to consider all these things when making decisions that can affect our children's self perceptions and sense of well being for the rest of their lives.

I think sunriver has a great point, letting kids teach or help out with teaching, and your son may be able to advance a grade and help out too, but this is easier for girls than boys since girls mature faster. Excelling academically is easier for girls too (less ridicule, more expected).

Only you know where you son is in all these areas and can take these things into consideration... we happen to live in North Raleigh, which imho is barely incorporated, lots of green aress, great public schools, upper class community and so thankfully my son can go to public school and have all
his needs met... as his mom, though, I want more for him so we work at home too, and on his 3 week breaks, (he is in year round school) and I know I would not give up the many unexpected benefits to him of time with other kids his age and time with mommy working on his weaknesses and learning about his day, what he likes, new kids he meets, where they go on trips, art, music, (none of which are a strength on mine, lol).

My son is alot like me and imho reflects me a great deal... one of my goals for him is to love going out into the world, to learn confidence by finding out the things he likes to do and helping him do them well... another is to help him learn about other kinds of people, not just special kids like him and not just little rich kids either but to have an inclusive life. I guess I want him to live large emotionally, be smart in books and people and be able to make his own way in the world with grace and dignity and strength. I can't make my son safe but I can danged well try to prepare him!

5|1|How long does it take for 3rd grade standardized tests to come back?|aloha2u|alohamillion@yahoo.com|10:19:42|11/14/2008|

Posted on Nov-14-08 at 10:19 AM (Eastern) by 67.212.108.17

Is anyone in Iowa that knows how long the ITEDs take to come back. This was our first year w/ these so I have no idea what to expect.

He has conferences coming up so will know more then I guess.

Thanks for all the replies and ideas. Everyone had good points but all going in different directions LOL, so have alot to think about. Hubby was helpful: "whatever you think is best, is fine with me." =) My son thinks he should return to the old school so he is not bored and can learn some more. Thankfully he has friends at both schools but the Christian school is small and some of the kids there are a handful (which is totally the opposite of what you would think but it is true.)

Stacey 6|1|We homeschool Cheyenne...more inside :)|RebekkaVA|queen_vulture@msn.com|12:25:04|11/14/2008|

Posted on Nov-14-08 at 12:25 PM (Eastern) by 71.62.251.49

We've been homeschooling my daughter for two years and love it. I am so glad we finally made the choice to do it. She does get to socialize with other kids too because we belong to a homeschool co-op, where we go on field trips with other children, hold science/history fairs, meet for pe and so much more. Plus we are very active in our church. Good luck with whatever you choose. Hugs, Rebekka

~*~REBEKKA~*~
a.k.a. "Queen Vulture"
Married to my Soul Mate William
"My husband has cancer, Please pray for him"
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