Last night, the phone ringing woke me up at 10:50 p.m. A school night so of course we're all in bed sleeping, I'd just dozed off a little bit earlier so wasn't sleeping that soundly yet. I race to answer it & here it's the Sheriff's dept. looking for one of my son's friends. He wasn't here but the dispatcher wanted me to wake my son up to ask if he knew where the boy could be or if he'd seen/talked to him at all yesterday. So I wake my son up & ask. He has no idea & hadn't seen/talked to the boy at all yesterday. Neither my son or I could get back to sleep too quickly. This isn't the 1st time this has happened, mind you. There's been "issues" w/that family for a long time & it's a mess, w/mom & her live-in boyfriend getting tanked on a regular basis, not much for parental supervision or rules, letting the kids do whatever/whenever. If the boy's mom & her bf would've used their noggins, they'd know I wouldn't allow the boy to be here at that time of night, especially on a school night, & especially too, w/out me letting them know.
Now this morning, I call the boy's mom to see if they found him & to find out what in the heck was going on, because I do care. The line has been continuously busy so I'm sure they've taken the phone off the hook as they've done it before, so THEIR sleep doesn't get disturbed. What I'm ticked about is that it's ok to wake others up in the middle of the night cuz of their b.s. yet they can't even be decent enough to lmk for sure that everything is ok! Since the phone is off the hook, I'm assuming the boy was found but it just really galls the heck out of me that they can't be bothered w/anything this morning, even tho the boy would've had school, IF anyone actually woke up. Grrr!
"If you pick up a starving dog & make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between a dog & a man."
Mark Twain
Please identify yourself in 1st email. If I haven't traded w/you before, I will require *legit* trade references & will gladly provide the same.
1|1|Wonder how many kids the police called??|couponshelmd|couponshel@comcast.net|11:48:27|09/08/2008|
truly hope they found this boy! As I read your post, I wondered why the police asked you to wake your son, unless it is a very close friend of the "missing" kid... and how many parents/kids they woke?
this is very strange to me, honestly. And I am going to assume the parents gave the police a list of his friends to call. Why didn't the parents just call (maybe earlier in the eve) or at the bare minimum, call you this morning with an update. As surely they knew whom the police called.
Again, hope the boy is found safely!
Shel
2|2|I guess it might bother me if I knew for sure the reason the phone was busy because they took it off the hook|teener|teenerzacsneenee@yahoo.com|12:01:08|09/08/2008|
and not because they are still searching for the boy Over the years as the kids grew we had been contacted a few times when people were looking for their kids tho it was scary till they found them I always took comfort in knowing that my boys were where they were supposed to be and that the police or parents knew that if my sons knew anything they would tell I hope all is well with the boy today 3|1|What a sad situation but what a good example you've shown for your kids...|clevengerclan|turtlebugmyers@hotmail.com|12:56:14|09/08/2008|
My daughter also has a friend that although her parents are good people they work a lot and she is home alone A LOT, even at night sometimes... which worries me endlessly... yet it also frustrates me because I really do care and want to help and therefore get "stuck" with a daughter that's not mine but is with us A LOT! It's hard because I know her parents are going through a divorce and both work full time out of town (commute), one even works two jobs... so it's not like they don't care. But sometimes I still feel upset that I have to be so responsible for a child that's not mine. Your situation seems atleast in some part similar, except that this boys parents seem to be "deadbeat" parents and not really care to make the proper efforts themselves. I understand what a tough situation this puts you in (and the other parents that were called too).
I would hope that maybe the phone was busy because the parents were using it for something beneficial like calling a counselor or checking around for thier son still, or talking to the school, or something good. I know you dont believe it's the case, but just maybe??? So sad for this young man.
Think of it this way though, if it was your son that was missing you would want all the help you could get right? And if this boy goes to school with your son, then he's an influence on your son so it's good to help this young man as it will come around & be better for your own childs environment. Atleast that's how I make sense of my own situation with my daughter and her friend. I mean, it's not her fault, and she obviously needs help, as does this young man your speaking of. Could you speak to the school counselor, atleast to make them aware of the issues? Maybe they could contact the parents and get some help started for this young man before things get too far out of hand.
I'm sorry for your position in this, and yes, I would be upset, but try to think of something positive...like maybe the phone is busy for a good reason...maybe. ???
Also, I appreciate your answering the phone, it shows your a good parent and a caring person... and that's what your children will see as an example. So you've done good by your own children in showing them a positive and helpful example. Good work mom! 4|1|Just got off the phone w/the boy's mom (m)|maraj|maraj64@hotmail.com|15:11:54|09/08/2008|
The boy is fine so that's a relief. He came home a little after midnight. I don't know where he'd been as I didn't ask cuz I was just relieved that he is ok & was back home.
I also didn't ask what happened cuz I got ticked all over again when I told the mom I'd been trying to call all morning & her reply was that yes, they'd taken the phone off the hook so they could sleep in..... I then cut the conversation short before I said something I might regret later & I didn't want to alienate the boy from my son. It's the norm for them to take the phone off the hook after a night of drinking so that's why I was so ticked cuz I'm sure the drinking had something to do w/the boy being out so late. Since all that really mattered was that the boy was home & ok I let it go.
The boy does see a counselor & has since last year when he'd taken an overdose of pills.... He doesn't seem to have as much pent up anger or irritability as he used to so in that aspect, I believe the counselor is helping him cope w/the way things are at home.
My son has been friends w/this boy since elementary school so there is definitely history. There is about a handful of boys who have been friends for that long so there's not any specific 2 that are closer or less close than the others - they're all pretty evenly close friends so if something's going on w/one, they're all aware of it & are there for support.
Everytime we receive a call like that, I do thank my lucky stars my own son is safe & snug at home & it's not him out there somewhere. I've told the mom several times before that should her son come here & it's late or starts to get late, I would definitely have him call home, or I would call her myself to let her know he was here, because I'm a parent myself & would hope another parent would do the same if the situation ever presented itself.
Ok, now I have a headache. :(
"If you pick up a starving dog & make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between a dog & a man."
Mark Twain
Please identify yourself in 1st email. If I haven't traded w/you before, I will require *legit* trade references & will gladly provide the same.