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 "SOME GIGGLES FOR TONIGHT"

General Chat Message
 
"SOME GIGGLES FOR TONIGHT"
Posted by JOYHAPPYONE on Sep-25-07 at 09:19 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Sep-25-07 at 09:19 PM (Eastern) by 64.12.116.68


1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk
ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me
either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan
belt or a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to
steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you
can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone
else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a
couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in
their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile
away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10 . Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him
how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half
and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark
side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one
works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips
are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you
need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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I'M RETIRED, BUT I WORK FULL TIME AS A PAIN IN THE A _ _ .
You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing! OLD TIMERS RULE !!!!!

JOYHAPPYONE joined in 2001
1594 posts
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 Table of Contents
Messages in this discussion
 
1 . "LOLOL! The last one is my favorite....that cracks me up, must remind me of work, lololol"
Posted by saint6811 on Sep-25-07 at 09:43 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Sep-25-07 at 09:43 PM (Eastern) by 74.135.123.126

"...just listen to your heart, that's what I do."
~Napolean Dynamite

saint6811 joined before 2001
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3 . "GLAD YOU LIKED IT J J"
Posted by JOYHAPPYONE on Sep-25-07 at 10:22 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Sep-25-07 at 10:22 PM (Eastern) by 64.12.116.68

****************************************
I'M RETIRED, BUT I WORK FULL TIME AS A PAIN IN THE A _ _ .
You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing! OLD TIMERS RULE !!!!!

JOYHAPPYONE joined in 2001
1594 posts
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2 . "OMG!!! The last one is too funny...Hubby did this last week...ROFL... I needed a laugh...Thank you :)"
Posted by RebekkaVA on Sep-25-07 at 09:47 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Sep-25-07 at 09:47 PM (Eastern) by 71.223.155.53

~*~REBEKKA~*~
a.k.a. "Queen Vulture"
Married to my Soul Mate
Mommy to:
Timothy 5/80
Matthew 10/92
Cheyenne 9/99
*EMAIL*: queen_vulture@msn.com

RebekkaVA joined in 2005
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4 . "GLAD TO ACCOMODATE YOU ROFL"
Posted by JOYHAPPYONE on Sep-25-07 at 10:22 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Sep-25-07 at 10:22 PM (Eastern) by 64.12.116.68

****************************************
I'M RETIRED, BUT I WORK FULL TIME AS A PAIN IN THE A _ _ .
You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing! OLD TIMERS RULE !!!!!

JOYHAPPYONE joined in 2001
1594 posts
[Search for feedback]
[Remove] [Edit] [Send email to JOYHAPPYONE] [Profile]
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