43 . "Friendly reminder re Adhering to Value Ranges"
Posted by Meezer_Mom on
Nov-09-17 at 07:06 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Nov-09-17 at 07:06 PM (Eastern) by 18.104.22.168
We're generous folks. We like to share and treat others. But, adhering to the "value range" set by the swap maintains the balance of reciprocity. That is, equal on both sides.
I learned of this many years ago by my anthropology prof. She shared she bought her BFF a microwave for Christmas. On the day they exchanged gifts, she was excited to gift her, but her friend was bummed because she had gifted her a CD. A nice and desired CD, but still not as outstanding as a microwave. So, she felt distanced. They were no longer equals. The gift inadvertently caused pain.
I have a friend who has been going through really tough times. Our gifting "value" has been lowered. I'm sneaking a little more in, saying I caught a deal, but it's just a little more. She's my BFF. I would not want her to feel we were no longer equals.
A dollar, two or three over, is reasonable, but do try to keep the balance. Your partner may not remember what you gave but they will remember how it - and you - made them feel.