"Need advise on BITING!!"

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"Need advise on BITING!!"
 Posted by tinyab81 on Jun-27-05 at 05:39 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Jun-27-05 at 05:39 PM (Eastern) by 69.73.86.161

Today my daughter got sent home again for like the 10th time for biting a child, and broke the skin. She's 18 months. She doesn't bite at home and plays fine w/ other children when we go places or they come to our house. But she's been biting now for about 4months and probauly about 20 times, most were really bad! I think it's her teeth or maybe she's not feeling good, shes allergic to everything so maybe that could be it, I don't know what to do!!!!!!! :( I don't know how to disaplin her. When I get there it's like about 2 hours after the bite happened. So I can't spank her then. I just raise my voice and tell her bad girl. But the teachers are looking at me like I should hit her. How did anyone deal w/ this situation?? I'm getting really embarrassed now when I go get her, she's gone around the classroom a couple times (the kids). She's gonnna get kicked out probauly this week if she bites one maore time. And it's only monday. Please HELP!!

~Abby~

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1 . "What is going on right before she bites? Is she happy, angry, overly excited?"
 Posted by blissful on Jun-27-05 at 05:40 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Jun-27-05 at 05:40 PM (Eastern) by 66.66.238.211

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2 . "she is frustrated they say or someone takes the toys from her and"
 Posted by tinyab81 on Jun-27-05 at 05:43 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Jun-27-05 at 05:43 PM (Eastern) by 69.73.86.161

sometimes she just walks right up to the kid no reason and bites.


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4 . "She is biting because she doesn't have the words to explain how she feels yet. That is the tpical age for this problem. I don't know how well she speaks, but maybe take some time to talk to her (repeatedly, but not as punishment) about how to say she is angry, frustrated, mad (M)"
 Posted by Barb09 on Jun-27-05 at 05:49 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Jun-27-05 at 05:49 PM (Eastern) by 69.217.127.208

This can be done all the time without be traumatic times for her. When you go to the store and the line is long..tell her this makes me frustrated having to wait my turn, what can I do? Or..any small thing in your life that is frustrating or maddening...give her the words for it. When you see her get upset, give her the words "you feel mad now, don't you?"

Also some instruction that she should tell a teacher or another adult, or even practice moving on to another toy when someone takes hers away. (you could play act this at home)...."What do we do if someone takes the toy?" "I want it" "If they don't give it, now what can we do?"

I know it is embarrassing when the kids act up and we feel a bit hopeless and like they are watching us...forget about the teachers (they probably are NOT waiting for you to spank her)....and keep it between your child and yourself. Others can cause us to overreact and not do what we would do naturally without their outside pressure.

Good luck


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6 . "thank you so much that helped some. Ill try that"
 Posted by tinyab81 on Jun-27-05 at 05:55 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Jun-27-05 at 05:55 PM (Eastern) by 69.73.86.161

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3 . "You tell them exactly how to handle your daughter... "
 Posted by Sara_s_Mom on Jun-27-05 at 05:46 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Jun-27-05 at 05:46 PM (Eastern) by 207.68.51.188

My dd was the recipient of a frequent biter. As upset as I was, I can only imagine that the other parent was just as frustrated as I was.

What they did was re-direction. The parent of the biter had to bring in a teether to be tethered to her child. Everytime she made a move toward biting, the teacher told her "no, we don't bite" and put the teether in her mouth and immediately removed her from the person she was trying to bite. Since my child was the one being bitten, they tried very hard to keep them separated. Our pre-school also used the "sad chair" (much like Nanny Jo's naughty stool, spot, corner, step, etc.) The said chair was where you went when you did bite. You have to warn them first and their level and when they do it again, it is off to the sad chair. We have found this discipline is far better than spanking.

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5 . "Well friday when I had to go get her for biting, I"
 Posted by tinyab81 on Jun-27-05 at 05:53 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Jun-27-05 at 05:53 PM (Eastern) by 69.73.86.161

asked them how they disaplin her and they said they tell her no w/ a raised voice and put her in a crib or high chair for a while. I feel so bad for the other children. I know the parents r tired of her biting. It's just nothing works for her, I mean she never had a pacifer or she doesn't take the teething ring. She is red head and mean. But what do I do when I pick her up from daycare after she bites? Should I spank her in public (I'm afraid of DCF these days you can't even tap your child barley. I've given her 2 spankins and it's killed me :( I'm so mad and frustrated at her for doing this, not really mad becasue she is only 18 months.

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7 . "No, don't spank her hours later. I am not a big spanker anyway, but I am SURE that disciplining her that late is wrong. Talk to her on the way home...don't scream and yell and tell her she is bad, but talk about how biting is not the right decision to make. Tell her what TO DO when she wants to bite. She isn't too little to learn and she inately wants to please."
 Posted by Barb09 on Jun-27-05 at 06:07 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Jun-27-05 at 06:07 PM (Eastern) by 69.217.127.208

I looked and looked and found no coupons for troll food......SO, I don't feed the trolls!!

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9 . "I swear... those day care people outta watch Nanny Jo on Supernanny"
 Posted by Sara_s_Mom on Jun-27-05 at 06:14 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Jun-27-05 at 06:14 PM (Eastern) by 207.68.51.188

I realize they only have to watch 10 other kids (which doesn't help matters) but consistency is the key. After she bites, do they make her go apologize or make nice? To offset the meanness of the bite, they should also make her go be nice (like patting her little friend's arm)

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10 . "I LOVE Super Nanny :-)"
 Posted by Barb09 on Jun-27-05 at 06:15 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Jun-27-05 at 06:15 PM (Eastern) by 69.217.127.208

I looked and looked and found no coupons for troll food......SO, I don't feed the trolls!!

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8 . "O yeah, the teachers also say after she bites, she just looks at them "
 Posted by tinyab81 on Jun-27-05 at 06:11 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Jun-27-05 at 06:11 PM (Eastern) by 69.73.86.161

like what? and then blows a kiss. It's not funny or cute, I have a real problem. I'm thinking could she not be getting the attention she needs . I work and really need to but if this keeps up, I won't be able to :(. Luckly I work for my mother and have been able to bring her to work, but she likes to rearange everything.

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11 . "Well I just come from picking up Alissa again for Biting"
 Posted by tinyab81 on Jun-28-05 at 11:14 AM (Eastern)
Posted on Jun-28-05 at 11:14 AM (Eastern) by 69.73.86.161

Today she bite 2 people and they called me at 9am. I had to go get her. She was sitting in a highchair when I got there. I guess she will be coming out of daycare :(

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12 . "I am so sorry. I know how that feels. My children were put out of a day care center once with no notice. I ended up having to lose my job and it was a very hard time. Please remember that your child will out grow this...no one is an 18 year old biter (except maybe Mike Tyson) :P Good luck and I am so sorry they couldn't work better with her! :-("
 Posted by Barb09 on Jun-28-05 at 11:42 AM (Eastern)
Posted on Jun-28-05 at 11:42 AM (Eastern) by 69.219.55.13

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13 . "Borrowed from another site"
 Posted by Sara_s_Mom on Jun-28-05 at 01:27 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Jun-28-05 at 01:27 PM (Eastern) by 207.68.51.188

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/biting_p3.html

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14 . "we taught PJ by redirection for biting, slapping, and kicking"
 Posted by pussecat on Jun-28-05 at 02:29 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Jun-28-05 at 02:29 PM (Eastern) by 66.177.168.249

he is not to bite, slap, or kick, when we taught him we would tell him "no bite kisses only" and immediately kiss him and when he got a little older we'd say "no bite kisses only don't you owe (insert name of person he bit here) a kiss?" and he'd immediately go kiss EXACTLY where he had bitten. he's now 2 and RARELY bites at all, about once a week if that much. we did the same thing with slapping but it was "hugs only" and then with kicking it was "hugs and kisses only". i guess our starting to be VERY consistant very early helped us and pj a lot. best of luck! jackie oh! and ps...... this teaching is ongoing, even now when he slips up we say these same things to him and he immediately falls back into line. hth

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15 . "Are they talking to her about how it "feels" to be bitten.. that it hurts and also hurts the other childs feelings?? I'm sure this is not the first time this has happened at this daycare...as alot of children go through biting stages. Makes me curious as to how much they are watching these children if your daughter got away with biting two kids and noone was there to stop her when they know she has this problem right now."
 Posted by Tracey10 on Jun-28-05 at 02:57 PM (Eastern)
Posted on Jun-28-05 at 02:57 PM (Eastern) by 24.20.64.2


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